issues with porn!

[sunride]

I recently found out my husband has been visiting porn sites, I feel so betrayed and I now feel that I am not good enough for him. Has anyone had this experience before?

[DirtyBlonde95]

Honestly at first I was hurt too by my husband watching porn but then I started watching it with him and I felt a stronger bond. Now we watch porn maybe once or twice a month and that hasn't affected our sex life at all we still have sex at least once a day. However I was enraged when I found naked pics of women I was about to bite his head off lol but I overreacted and he deleted everything immediately it was just old pics he forgot he had. I don't think it's a big deal if you two talk about it and maybe you'll see its nothing unless your sex life changed or he can only orgasm to porn.

[specialmom]

That's very true.  To each their own.  If a couple enjoys it, that is their business and more power to them!  My comment was just in response that 'most' people watch porn.  there's a lot of people that don't.  Maybe it is 50/50 who do and don't?  But I just didn't want the poster to think she 'had' to be okay with it because others are or aren't.  It's personal.  My husband thinks it is really fake and we feel sorry for the people in the videos especially the women.  I was probably more open to it than he was.  I don't think it is fair for one person to force another to watch porn if it goes against  their belief system.  

good luck

[mamabowling]

My husband and I use it to make our sexual time more exciting and it actually brings us closer watching it together.  To each his own

[coryreply719]

I agree with specialmom on her point about it being degrading to women. Porn causes men and women alike to have a distorted view of sexuality. I've seen porn use have devastating effects on otherwise good marriages. Taking all of that into account, I think using the word "normal" to describe the use of pornography is a stretch.

[specialmom]

Now, I'm not sure I'd say that.  LOL  I do not watch it nor does my husband.  I find it hugely degrading to women.  But I do think if it is something you are totally okay with, that's fine too.  good luck and glad it worked out.  (don't compromise your values though.)

[sunride]

Thanks for all your support. I have talked to my husband and have put my opinion across. I now have come to the understanding that it's perfectly normal for both men and women to view porn. Thank you all once again. X

[Daniellerene]

Don't take it too personal it's not you , my hubby looks at porn and so do i .. it's normal it's in human nature *well with people who don't have a problem with it* I know when I watch it I think of the characters being me and my hubby ... and I know my hubby thinks the same cause he will be like I saw this and I wanna try it with you .. As long as he isn't cheating with a actual person in person I'm okey with it .. and alot of the time me and my hubby watch porn together
BUT every one is different if you feel very upset with it I would talk too him about it and have a heart to heart talk with him about your feelings

[coryreply719]

Did you talk to him? How did it go?

[sunride]

Thank you for the reply. My next step is to talk to my husband and  make him understand my feelings towards this. Thank you again for your advice.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, lots of men do indulge in porn.  I'm not personally a fan for the degradation of women and that basically, it is all fake.   But some like it.  I would say that there are plenty of reasons to not like it and express that with your partner but feeling insecure is something I'd work on.  These 'stars' are often on drugs and feeling little to nothing during the big performance.  Really nothing to envy or to make you feel bad about yourself.  Men are visual.  This stimulates that part of them.  But don't let that make you feel bad about you.

If you feel it is interfering in your relationship, then talk to him about it.  Perhaps you can compromise or you'll find its not all that important to him and he'd be willing to not watch it.  good luck