Aa
question about marriage sex what to do
I have been married to my husband for 15 years. While I did gain weight with my first child. I have lost that weight I am not 100 pounds like when we met. However I am also not fat. I am just average. My problem is my husband every time I ask for sex he tells me he is tired and never wants to talk about it. I feel like so depressed and always asking what is wrong. I now many people always tell me that I am very pretty yet I just dont even know what to think. He is chatting with others in the computer and I know he has been with others and he tells me when he is with another woman he will have sex with them two or three times that same night but not with me. I ask him that if he does not love me or is not interested in me to just say it yet he says that is not the problem. He is only 35 and I am not kidding if we have sex 3 times a month is too much and everytime is when he wants too and its always been after he has seen a picture of another woman. I feel so depressed like I dont even know why ?
Hope to hear from you again, you don't have to tolerate a relationship like this. We are here for you:)
Ana, what you say is stunning.
I don't even know how to frame your relationship with your husband - it's so completely different from anyone else's marriage. When he tells you he's having sex with other women and he tells you he does it 2 or 3 times a night and all you can think of to say is well then how come you won't have sex with me, am I not pretty?
Your reaction is so far afield of what is typical that I don't know how to help.
Best wishes.
I don't even know how to frame your relationship with your husband - it's so completely different from anyone else's marriage. When he tells you he's having sex with other women and he tells you he does it 2 or 3 times a night and all you can think of to say is well then how come you won't have sex with me, am I not pretty?
Your reaction is so far afield of what is typical that I don't know how to help.
Best wishes.
First of all for any partner to acknowledge that they have had sexual relationships with another person or even sexual interactions on a chat interface is unacceptable especially in a commitment such as marriage. However I have no idea what your arrangements are with one another, whether or not this is acceptable for the both of you or not... but if you feel that this is unacceptable and you are loyal in the relationship, then I would certainly advise you setting some boundaries.
You don't deserve having your husband's sexual acts being flaunted in front of you at all. This is just disrespectful to you not to mention it breaks the bounds of marriage (unless ofcourse you have different arrangements where this is acceptable for you to be with others and vice versa).
Definitely keep us posted and keep talking. The mere fact of them telling you this is just horrible for your own self esteem of the relationship.
You don't deserve having your husband's sexual acts being flaunted in front of you at all. This is just disrespectful to you not to mention it breaks the bounds of marriage (unless ofcourse you have different arrangements where this is acceptable for you to be with others and vice versa).
Definitely keep us posted and keep talking. The mere fact of them telling you this is just horrible for your own self esteem of the relationship.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh goodness. Well, I didn't read the other responses but I'm not sure why you are even worried about having sex with him as you know he is cheating and with other women. That you are still worried about being attractive enough for him and depressed that he doesn't want you worries me. You should be furious and angry and hurt that he is cheating, hon. I don't care if you gained 3000 pounds and grew hairs off the end of your nose. When you are married and have a child together, there is no excuse for infidelity. (well, is there ever an excuse. Probably not).
Your reaction to this greatly concerns me. Maybe I read it wrong----------- but you've been married for 15 years and he is 35, so do the math . . . carry the one . . . you've been together since he was 20. You aren't referring to women he had when he was a teenager, are you? You are saying these women are current? You'll have to correct me if I'm wrong about that.
I do think open communication in a healthy relationship regarding sex is important. Asking for your needs to be met if one person has a lower libido than the other is an important thing to do in a long term relationship. It is reality that two people may not continue to have the same level of desire throughout the years and being able to talk about it is important.
So I ask two questions if I misread and he is not cheating on you and I got that part wrong, first------------ how is the rest of your relationship? Sometimes one loses some desire if they are having other problems. And two-------------- could your husband be depressed at all?
So, clear up if your husband has been with other women and we'll go from there.
Your reaction to this greatly concerns me. Maybe I read it wrong----------- but you've been married for 15 years and he is 35, so do the math . . . carry the one . . . you've been together since he was 20. You aren't referring to women he had when he was a teenager, are you? You are saying these women are current? You'll have to correct me if I'm wrong about that.
I do think open communication in a healthy relationship regarding sex is important. Asking for your needs to be met if one person has a lower libido than the other is an important thing to do in a long term relationship. It is reality that two people may not continue to have the same level of desire throughout the years and being able to talk about it is important.
So I ask two questions if I misread and he is not cheating on you and I got that part wrong, first------------ how is the rest of your relationship? Sometimes one loses some desire if they are having other problems. And two-------------- could your husband be depressed at all?
So, clear up if your husband has been with other women and we'll go from there.
wow.... when I read your post all I can say is wow... i am sorry you are going through this... You need to sit down with your husband and let him know how you feel and that what he is doing is wrong and disrespectful. You dont deserve that at all.. he only does it because you allow him too.. I know you love him and it makes things much harder but you need to be strong enough to do what it takes to make you happy.. you are obviously not happy and the one reason for your unhappiness seems to be your husband... I am not saying divorce him I am just saying you should do some soul searching and for now on be selfish to yourself and do what makes you happy.. not go have an affair but look at your life and see that you can be happy and you deserve to be happy and the one person you love is not making you happy.. you should not ever have to ask your husband for sex.. I am sorry for the pain you are in.. I know I have been there I realized I need to be happy and I am happy now... take care and I wish the best for you.. remember YOU need to be happy!!!
Your husband is having sex with other woman,and you are ok with that,mad is the first word that comes to mind,the problem is not that you are unattraactive or big,it is that your are letting your husband treat you like a doormat,no wounder he is tired when he comes home to you sleeping with other woman,have some respect for yourself and get rid,you are his doormat,the cook the cleaner the childminder,everything but his loving wife,sorry to sound so harse but you are allowing this to go on,he will never have no respect for you,because he knows that whatever he does you are allowing it to happen,there is also the fact of STDs,please get some respect and stop this and find a life where there is love respect and fun in it.
Frankly, he is being a real ******* and taking advantage of you and your need to have him around. I would talk to a lawyer about child support and alimony and find out your rights, and get moving to get him out with authority.
i wouldn't even care why anymore what a jerk you gave him several chances to explain he doesn't want to he's cheating and he tells you about it why would you put up with that ? he could be giving you anything and he obviously has no respect or love for you or he would never treat you like that i'm pregnant with my third child and i've gained a large amount of weight since we got to together and my husband still doesn't go one day without telling me he loves me and that he still wants to be with me he makes me feel good on even my worst day and thats what your husband should make you feel i wouldn't say this is about your looks at all you tried to talk to him and fix your problems he doesn't care leave him don't let him keep cheating on you and making you think its your fault start over let him figure out his problems on his own you really don't want to be a part of his high risk sex life i don't think this is going to get any better for you if you stay with him
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