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RAI Isolation and loneliness

Ok guys, I had my RAI on Thurs, May 15.  I've been staying in a hotel, complimentary of the Canadian Cancer Society.  I'm only staying here until tomorrow and then am to go to my parents.  I can't go home as we have a baby and I can't be exposed to her.  Basically I'm writing to vent.  The first 2 days here, hubby dropped baby off at my parents and he then came to see me.  I worry b/c it is upsetting her routine to be at grandmas and missing her nap so I suggested hubby stay home today.  I thought my parents could have offered to go to our house so baby could have her naps, but hubby could still come visit me.  Well, they didn't.  Before all of this, my mom said she'd bring me food as the hotel doesn't have a kitchen.  Well, she hasn't.  I'm quite surprised that my parents haven't even come for a visit.  We can visit from a 3 feet distance now.  I've almost completely written my brother off.  He hasn't called.  His wife called the other day and left a voicemail.  I'm just so shocked and hurt.  I'm missing my daughter terribly.  The only ones that give a damn are my husband and my two girlfriends.  It's like my family couldn't care less.  The hotel is very nice but is in downtown and isn't a safe neighbourhood after dinner time.  The restaurant here is very expensive.  I went and asked if my stay could be extended complimentary of the cancer society b/c I just don't feel I have anywhere comfortable to go.  I'm just so sad and am sorry to dump this all.  I'm alone and have no one to talk to.

Thanks for listening/reading.
7 Responses
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398079 tn?1235171132
Hang in there girlfriend! I thought the isolation was the worse part for me too. I hadto saty in the hospital covered with plastic all around me. I was so sick to my stomach a couple hours after I took the pills that I could not drink as much water as they wanted me to? Then I got to go home and isolated myself in my bedroom. It was really hard not eating with my hubby and 2 kids. Look at it this way at least your baby is young and will not remember this little time apart from you. Some of my family members dropped off food for us and told me how horrible I looked, so maybe I would have been better off not seeing them? Like everyone has already told you, so me people just can not handle situations like this. I wish you well and stay away from the baby as long as they tell you too. I couldn't sit next to my kids for a long period of time for 3 weeks. Take care and chin up!   Hugs Kim
Helpful - 0
168348 tn?1379357075
Our Mom's are something special and I realized this, too, during my ordeal with the surgery .. there is nothing like your mom ........It was me, I think, who learned that there are your friends and your acquaintances when you have Cancer.  I am so sorry this is affecting your family like this (mom, brother)...the only thing I can think and relate and this is not an excuse but a reason is oftentimes when people are scared and cannot accept or relate to an experience in life themselves they back away and avoid.  No matter how much you try to educate them it still doesn't sink in and, thus, they are really ignorant and will stay away from a SITUATION THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE for THEM!!!!!  That is how I saw it with my son many yrs ago when he had severe reflux and people didn't even know what that word was 9yrs ago let alone the drug Zantac or Prevacid!!!!  Also when my girls had arthritis as children .. they'd ask how they were doing but really didn't care.

And then there was me.  Well, I certainly learned fast my schoolyard (I have kids in 3/4th grades) acquaintences from my true friends.

I think your mom is scared.  I am really sorry and right now you cannot carry her burden. There was somebody on this forum (maybe right around the time you began to post but maybe before then) whose husband couldn't accept her scar as it brought back memories of another issue deep down inside and triggered marital problems for them, etc.  

I would pick up the phone and call your dear Cancer Ctr that afforded you this lovely hotel and ask to speak wtih a counseor, etc.  This must be affecting you; and rightfully so; let it out and talk to them and see what/how they suggest you deal with this bcz it isn't going away soon and this is part of YOU NOW and your family better accept you for you and stop these silly games.  You need emotional support; not this torment now.

Hugs,
Cheryl

PS:  Don't worry about your baby; they are resilient and she will be fine :) :)   My babies are now 17, 15, 10 * 9 !
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback.  I do have a great hubby and a wonderful baby girl, but sometimes through all of this, I want my mommy too.  

Anyways, the RAI went fairly well.  I did the LID for 1 week....I'm so sick of homemade bread.  The RAI was given to me in a liquid form and it tasted like metallic almonds.  I then had to proceed to drink tonnes of water.  My radiation level was at 37 from a distance of 3 feet and they wanted it at 18 before I'd be discharged.  3.5 litres of water and 5 hours later and I was still sitting there in the isolation area of the hospital.  I really wish someone had told me about that.  They all said I'd be out and on my way in about 30 minutes.  

I've been quite tired, but am still able to go for a run.  I have a bad headache in my face and I have passing aches in my glands (reminds me of the mumps, but to a lesser degree).  I'm not sure of the precautions the hotel takes, but they did assure me they are well aware of the protocol and have done this several times.  It still worries me.  I keep my distance from others.  Change my clothes regularly and have 2 showers per day.  

Anyways all, the isolation is the worst part and feeling like a blob b/c of how much m&ms I've eaten.  I go back to the cancer clinic on thursday to have my levels measured to see if I can go home to my baby girl.  Please keep your fingers crossed.

Alright....bedtime.

Thanks again,
Helpful - 0
490443 tn?1236648256
Chin up!!!! I bet I would be pissed as well as hungry! DAmg I would bring you some foood if I knoew where you was and waht state..... I am in Utah I am RIGHT BEHIND you I get a second surgery and RAI!!!! YEE HAW!!! RELAX and know we are here for you!!! IS the RAI a pill or a drink?? HOW do you feel?? BESIDE really lonley?
HUGS!!!!
Rodeo QUEEN

IT IS ALMOST OVER FOR YOU!!! I am just beack to point A!
Helpful - 0
427555 tn?1267553158
Very sorry to hear what you are going through.  This is when you really need your family to step up.  I am wondering what precautions the hotel is taking after you check out?

Are they aware of your RAI and what it entails? Considering everything in my hospital room was covered in plastic, is your room the same. If precautions are not followed, anyone staying in that room, or cleaning that room, could be exposed.  Good luck.
Trish

Helpful - 0
455126 tn?1212432198
I'm sorry you are having a hard time.  Thank God its almost over.

I think someone mentioned to me awhile ago that you'll find out who really cares about you throughout this horrible ordeal.  But I think that some people just dont know how to deal with it or what to say, so I'm going to try to NOT hate anyone for abandoning me.  

I know it would be ideal for everyone to rally around me, but when it comes down to it, I only really expect that from my  husband, as he is truthfully the ONLY one who knows how very difficult this has been for me.  Well, he and the members of this forum.

It must be so hard for you to be away from your baby.  Its for the best, though, as you know, as you dont want to endanger her thyroid.  You will be all healed up in no time and you'll be able to spend your precious life with her.  

By the way, I'm also in Canada and had no idea that going to a hotel was an option.  I think I will do my RAI in hospital, although I dont want to be put on that horribly long waiting list.  If I could do it at a hotel, maybe I could do it sooner.  

Well, I suppose I have to have my second surgery first and go from there.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I think you are strong and I wish you a full and quick recovery!

D
Helpful - 0
213044 tn?1236527460
Sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. It's bad when your family isn't there for you. Especially when your situation is so hard to manage.

I was able to do it at home. It was much easier. I can imagine how difficult it is for you. At least your Husband is trying.
Helpful - 0
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