Hello,
As with all relationships it is better to error on the side of caution.......When meeting someone you are not really sure of, try meetimng in a coffee shop or pizza shop etc......Somewhere if the mood changes you will not feel alone.......Personal safety is job 1......... That is the most important thing in all our lives.......If the mood changes then the surroundings can accomodate that as permits........
The one thing that is ever so important is you must at all times feel in control of yourself and what is happening with you......When that diminishes you have to extricate yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.......
When the time is right for you in an extensive relationship, you will be the first to know.....Till then stick by your guns.......
As to your abuse.........That is exactly what that was, abuse...... It was someone taking advantage of you........You did not enjoy it.............It was not plesant at all for you nor wanted.........You are the victim.......... You did nothing to bring it on .....The person that did that was a criminal.......... They always will be..........Their day will come for harming you.........
Prosecuted or not they are a criminal........
Any time you want support just knock and we will be here for you.....Gator
Yes I'm a survivor of this as well and it has scarred me for life. Its important that as emotional relationships progress to physical ones just to let guys know and that they must respect this. Before I've had physical relations with women I've explained that my experience as a survivor of child sexual abuse (from a baby sitter, not family members or I wouldn't be posting this) is something they must understand. My current relationship works out fine. But its a matter of mutual respect. But that applies to any relationship. If a guy doesn't respect you just put him out of your life. Someone like that is not worth the time of day in my opinion.
I don’t see this as your fault. Sexual abuse survivors tend to get revictimized.
Do not see him again. Seems like there are some feelings you could work on in therapy. You also have many friends and much support on Med Help. As children, we were made to feel guilty about the abuse, we thought that it was our fault. But it was not your fault. I think this could be coming back to you.-
Take very good care of yourself and be careful who you spend time with. You can work this through, with care and support.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------