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Is it rape?
Hi, I don't know any other way to ask this question but to come right out with it. Do you think that an 8 year old or 9 year old can inciate sex on her own. Meaning if something happened to you when you was a child and you can not remember, and there is proof that you were touched, does that mean you was sexual hurt. Or did you intend for this to happen? please help me. My mom has proof that i was rapped i can't remember, & the person that did it said i wanted to. I would never think a child would want that to happen to them. I went to counciling when i was younger i do not remember talking to her but only once asking her to please leave me alone. My mom said the first meeting with the counciler i showed her some things with doll babies. I just don't remember any of this, I guess I told my best friend when I was a child and she told her mother whom, told my mom. And my mom seems to think I blocked it all out. I am now an adult with kids of my own, and I just want to know but at the same time I don't want to even think about it. I sometimes get these thoughts that if I'm home alone or if I was to take a walk outside like I always look behind me because, I feel like some one might hurt me idk why I'm asking MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT ALONE. Thankyou for your time.
Jane, was this another child that was involved in the encounter? It seems like if this was an adult there would have been a trial and he would be in prison and it would be sort of an ongoing issue with parole hearings coming up, etc.
Are you still in contact with your best friend or her mother, and you could maybe get clarification on this? It sounds from the tone of your post that you think it's possible your mother is remembering wrong.
Best wishes. This sounds very difficult.
Are you still in contact with your best friend or her mother, and you could maybe get clarification on this? It sounds from the tone of your post that you think it's possible your mother is remembering wrong.
Best wishes. This sounds very difficult.
It was RAPE. No questions. Saying anything else is a sick interpretation.
Even if the child has been trained to open the guys trousers (and sadly some have) It is rape, they are not in a mature mind.
Even if the child has been trained to open the guys trousers (and sadly some have) It is rape, they are not in a mature mind.
A child that young would not initiate sex on her own without having had something that influenced her to do that. She would not understand what it would mean because she is a child and would not be held responsible.
I don't know how old the person was who did this to you, but it sounds like he is trying to abdicate responsibility.
It is your choice as to whether to continue forward with counseling. No one can make the decision for you, but we can share from our experiences as to how it helped and what the process was like. For some, it gets worse before getting better and staying the course is important.
If you find you are having troubling thoughts and feeling fears or other emotions that are getting in the way, it would be good to consider getting the help. Leaving it alone, doesn't mean it goes away. Something else to consider is how you are with your children. Do you find yourself worrying about whether they will be safe? Do you get mad at them and have anger issues?
I can attest to that. I am one who has lost memories and had fears, etc. that I couldn't explain. You kind of know that you know that you are different and not living up to your potential when the fears and anxietys hold you prisoner. I started late with counseling...in my 20's and was diagnosed with Post Stress Traumatic Disorder. The memories are still gone, but I still startle easy and am in hyper vigilance much of the time when alone, etc. Trust is an issue. Part of the journey is learning how to use the abilities you have because of what you have gone through.
In counseling, it can get deep. You go into areas that you would not have thought of from the outside looking in.
Blessings to you in what ever you decide and the courage to take the necessary steps should you decide to go the route and wisdom in knowing that you have a good counselor/therapist.
I don't know how old the person was who did this to you, but it sounds like he is trying to abdicate responsibility.
It is your choice as to whether to continue forward with counseling. No one can make the decision for you, but we can share from our experiences as to how it helped and what the process was like. For some, it gets worse before getting better and staying the course is important.
If you find you are having troubling thoughts and feeling fears or other emotions that are getting in the way, it would be good to consider getting the help. Leaving it alone, doesn't mean it goes away. Something else to consider is how you are with your children. Do you find yourself worrying about whether they will be safe? Do you get mad at them and have anger issues?
I can attest to that. I am one who has lost memories and had fears, etc. that I couldn't explain. You kind of know that you know that you are different and not living up to your potential when the fears and anxietys hold you prisoner. I started late with counseling...in my 20's and was diagnosed with Post Stress Traumatic Disorder. The memories are still gone, but I still startle easy and am in hyper vigilance much of the time when alone, etc. Trust is an issue. Part of the journey is learning how to use the abilities you have because of what you have gone through.
In counseling, it can get deep. You go into areas that you would not have thought of from the outside looking in.
Blessings to you in what ever you decide and the courage to take the necessary steps should you decide to go the route and wisdom in knowing that you have a good counselor/therapist.
I do not believe a child of 8 year old would initiate sex, it is not your fault you did nothing ,it is always the perpetrator who has abused you ...You may want to get some counselling, be able to talk it through, is the other party still around is he in your life would have access to your children?Do you know if there was any prosecution of the abuser?
This question has many parts to it....and I can't answer all of it.
Does an 8 or 9 year old girl have hormones and have the desire to be sexually stimulated? Yea, they most certainly can. Not all do, but it is possible. It is more common in a child who has been exposed to sexual behaviors (via tv, magazines, seeing others, or even abuse) at a young age. I mean, little children as young as 2, 3, 4 masturbate because it feels good. So, if an 8 year old gets touched in an area that feels good and is educated more than the average girl at that age, she may initiate sex.
BUT...AND A HUGE BUT!!!! No 8 or 9 year old girl is capable of consenting to sex at that young age. She isn't fully aware of right from wrong and not aware of the seriousness of sex and it's potential consequences. Again...it just feels good. So, in a court of law, if some man or older boy says, "well, she wanted to...," IT WON'T FLY!
If this person who did this to this girl was her same age, there would probably be no consequence as he would be just as incapable of realizing right from wrong. The laws vary by state, but if he was a teenager, he would probably face consequences. And if a man, for sure would face consequences.
I don't think you should just leave it alone because I think that in some way, it does affect you...or you wouldn't be asking this.
Good luck to you, and I hope and pray that you heal.
Does an 8 or 9 year old girl have hormones and have the desire to be sexually stimulated? Yea, they most certainly can. Not all do, but it is possible. It is more common in a child who has been exposed to sexual behaviors (via tv, magazines, seeing others, or even abuse) at a young age. I mean, little children as young as 2, 3, 4 masturbate because it feels good. So, if an 8 year old gets touched in an area that feels good and is educated more than the average girl at that age, she may initiate sex.
BUT...AND A HUGE BUT!!!! No 8 or 9 year old girl is capable of consenting to sex at that young age. She isn't fully aware of right from wrong and not aware of the seriousness of sex and it's potential consequences. Again...it just feels good. So, in a court of law, if some man or older boy says, "well, she wanted to...," IT WON'T FLY!
If this person who did this to this girl was her same age, there would probably be no consequence as he would be just as incapable of realizing right from wrong. The laws vary by state, but if he was a teenager, he would probably face consequences. And if a man, for sure would face consequences.
I don't think you should just leave it alone because I think that in some way, it does affect you...or you wouldn't be asking this.
Good luck to you, and I hope and pray that you heal.
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