When I was about 15, my nephew who was 2 years older than me coerced his sister and I to touch him and help him ejaculate. He even asked if he could put his penis inside me, because I was just his aunt, not his sister. I was able to block it out for about 10 years, but now I just don't want anything to do with him. I know my family wonders what's up, but it turns my stomach to even say hello to him. His father is elderly, and I don't feel comfortable telling anyone, because I think it would break my BIL's heart. His mom, my sister is dead.
His sister doesn't seem bothered by this at all. Am I overreacting? I just can't let it go. My family screwed my life up in so many ways, but this is beyond the pale for me.
I would wonder what has triggered this for you at this point. I would suspect it is partly due to the thought that your family has screwed up your life "in so many ways" that you're focusing on this one incident.
Under the law in most states, your age difference is so small that sexual behavior between teens with that age difference isn't a crime.
Are you currently in therapy?
Sorry to hear what happened to you in your childhood. Unwanted participation in sexual activist had to be hard for you. Maybe you should confront him, he may apologize and then you can forgive and move on.
Thank you for sharing. You have every right to be concerned about this. Please find a trusted therapist, a friend, or read a book about sexual abuse. The fact that you remembered this means you're ready to start the healing process. Don't ignore it, contentment others minimize it. You will get through this, and you will be a stronger person for it.
You are not over-reacting. You experienced a traumatizing situation - it doesn't matter who was involved or how they remember the experience - the situation was not appropriate.
I would gently suggest finding someone to talk to about this. If a counsellor seems too intimidating, try talking to someone you trust: A close friend, a religious leader, or even call a helpline for unbiased, anonymous support. You are not crazy, this isn't normal, and you need to be able to heal from this to move on.
All the very best to you.
I would first ask his sister if she remembered what happened and if she did, confront him together. If your family is as messed up as you say, chances are they won't believe you. But if there are two people claiming it, then they might listen. But whether they believe you or not, the truth should be spoken about. Who knows, maybe he did it to more kids in the family and they themselves were hesitant all this time as to whether to bring it up or not.
It is illegal and ignore this other comments, legal consent age is 15, he above that and you not. Even years later it is a police matter. He may have done this again or may have al but forgotten, tell anyone you trust and then report it please, that's how you can eventually move on in the best way possible!
I too was molested as a child & not having the support of family was sickening..Just make sure that you're Ready to Confront,Speak out & Heal.Don't allow him to blame u.That wasn't then or now your Burden or shame to carry it's All his!!..As my story got out to family this cousin had Molested over 20 family & Friends.You may be helping other's heal.talk about it.if you continue to bottle it more issues will Rise!!much love & hugs to u❤...Ur AStrong Survivor keep that in mind..
Sorry this happened. I'm pretty sure that his sis is bothered by being "coerced" into having sexual relations with her brother. You mentioned that your family was "screwed up" and the proof is in the pudding. Cause and effect is real. These kids were probably messed up, as were you, by the family being screwed up. I think you need to talk to a therapist about what to do for yourself. How to find peace and let this go. I respect you choice not say anything while your BIL is still alive. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. That's important. Having your own control. Being in control. I don't think you're over reacting at all, and i don't blame you for not being able to let it go. I think it is your time to find some peace, so please , find a good therapist and discuss your childhood and find some closure so that you can move forward peacefully. There's a group called ACOA, or Adult Children of Alchoholics or Dysfunctional Families that I went to for similarly coming from a screwed up home life. and it helped to meet in a group setting and talking, and making friends to have coffee with weekly, for as long as i needed them. Be good to yourself, and please know you're not alone. There are many of here on Medhelp that have experienced the same sort of thing, and come from screwed up child hood homes, that can relate and to which you can be friends with. Friends that understand make the whole world alright again. I'd love to hear you come back to your thread here. All the best in the now and in the future.
Teenage years are the years usually where everyone loses there virginity..A great percentage of teens are sexually active...It's not a big secret.. who's to say when the real right time to have sex in life is...(Not saying younger than a teen)..When was the next time u had sex after that being that its you're family member is not good...To me it just sounds like kids experimenting...teenagers experiment in alot things worse than sex...It doesn't sound like anyone was physically abused...Maybe address it with him but that's as far as I would go with it...You guys were teenagers close to 18 you were old enough to make up your own mind
Only you can decide if it’s appropriate to confront this guy. There are groups out there for abuse victims. They’re often listed in the Sunday paper under “where to go for help”, if not, your area should have a Help Hotline that will know. A group initially helped me years ago but it became apparent that I needed individual counseling due to the extent of the abuse in my life. Hang in there and don’t give up. Sending love and prayers. Kim