Aa
OMG There's no turning back now!
Well now I'm really scared. I made the CPS report and I have to wait for it to be signed an investigator. The worker from last year said that they cannot make him leave the home, they can ask him but if he refuses I have to take the kids and leave. So now I guess I'm going to finish packing the stuff for us, put it in my truck and then send him a text asking him to go stay at his dad's and let him know that I have called CPS. All hell is about to break loose and I'm so scared.
IF I get approved for TANF, they will go after him for child support anyway. The way it works is they determine the child support obligation, then there is a GAP amount (whatever that is) they will retain whatever is paid over that GAP amount to pay back the amount they pay you in TANF it's kind of confusing and a pain to not just get the child support, but in order to have aHOPE of getting child care assistance I have to be considered a priority case and to do that my only option is to be a TANF recipient.
For now he seems like he's still gonna pay the bills, we'll see how that goes. He called and asked if I would bring the kids to the mall (public place because I told him I trust him around us) so he could see them. I left Alex at her friends and took them up there...we weren't there 10 minutes, but I got the impression that he wouldn't bother us if we stayed at the house. He said he was gonna be looking for a cheap, small place to rent, but for now he's at his dad's. We'll see how things go, been quiet tonight. I was able to get one final exam outta the way and pulled off a 92...it dropped by grade by about 4 points but it's still an A and I have a few more assignments that are ungraded and can bring it back up. Tomorrow I have a few assignments and another exam to have done by midnight.
I just realized a few minutes ago that with everything going on I TOTALLY forgot Lily's 1 yr check up today (duh). SO I have to call and reschedule that tomorrow. I am now off to crash, I am exhausted!!!!!
Oh and I'm gonna call the Salvation Army and see if they have any funds for assisting with the electric. I managed to get the mortgage covered for this month.
For now he seems like he's still gonna pay the bills, we'll see how that goes. He called and asked if I would bring the kids to the mall (public place because I told him I trust him around us) so he could see them. I left Alex at her friends and took them up there...we weren't there 10 minutes, but I got the impression that he wouldn't bother us if we stayed at the house. He said he was gonna be looking for a cheap, small place to rent, but for now he's at his dad's. We'll see how things go, been quiet tonight. I was able to get one final exam outta the way and pulled off a 92...it dropped by grade by about 4 points but it's still an A and I have a few more assignments that are ungraded and can bring it back up. Tomorrow I have a few assignments and another exam to have done by midnight.
I just realized a few minutes ago that with everything going on I TOTALLY forgot Lily's 1 yr check up today (duh). SO I have to call and reschedule that tomorrow. I am now off to crash, I am exhausted!!!!!
Oh and I'm gonna call the Salvation Army and see if they have any funds for assisting with the electric. I managed to get the mortgage covered for this month.
S*ck, and double s*ck! I hope you do find a job soon. If anything, if you file for legal separation, or Joe moves out there is a possiblitity you can go to court for child support, which in any amount is better than nothing. I have a friend who is stationed in GA, and I don't know if it is because he is military or not, but he has to pay child support now, and his wife and him haven't even filed for legal separation yet, they're still married...they don't live together anymore, I don't remember exactly when she moved out it was sometime this year I believe. Anyhow, it's worth looking into as well...anything coming in is helpful right now until you do find a job.
Well this is just lovely. My mortgage company won't make any arrangements to help me out til I find a job. The place here that does energy assistance and those rehousing grant things doens't have any funding at this time. So, now I don't know what I'll do until I find a job. I applied for TANF but it can take up to 45 days to get it processed.
LOL Thanks Sabrina!! I already know the cops here and how they work. Unfortunately he knows most of them too because he used to be a jailer at the sheriff;s department. May be better if I don't know, then none of them can go tip him off.
I'm praying for you! I'm glad you're letting Alex help you with some of the decisions, and talking to her so much too. I know the little ones aren't old enough to understand it all, but I'm sure she appreciates being in on everything and I'm sure it helps her feel more confident with everything else too.
Thank God CPS isn't being a major pain in the @$$ this time, that's so good to hear. I'm glad Joe at least said he would stay away, and I hope he does for you and the kids' sake. It still wouldn't hurt to give the local POs a call and see what they say if you have to call them. I pray that you don't, but you never know when a situation can get ugly.
GO CASSIE GO CASSIE GO CASSIE!!! YAY! (cheer squad, lol) Hope you got a laugh out of it!
Thank God CPS isn't being a major pain in the @$$ this time, that's so good to hear. I'm glad Joe at least said he would stay away, and I hope he does for you and the kids' sake. It still wouldn't hurt to give the local POs a call and see what they say if you have to call them. I pray that you don't, but you never know when a situation can get ugly.
GO CASSIE GO CASSIE GO CASSIE!!! YAY! (cheer squad, lol) Hope you got a laugh out of it!
apparently this new "look" has some glitches because it showed that one of my updates didn't post. Strange! Oh, well!
Did are CPS interview this morning. At first the lady still seemed real stuck up and like she didn't believe us. I talked to her, then she talked to Zach (7), Abby (8) and Alex (15). While she was talking to them I realized, DUH I had totally forgotten to tell her about all the porn and how he has left it up where the kids could easily see it. So I went back in and told her that. Starting with Alex's interview, the worker we had last year came and sat in. That's when things started turning around some. The new worker seemed muched nicer and more compassionate. SO I went in and told them about the porn and stuff. I also told them how he's always trying to pressure me into anal sex and even when I saw no, he will try to "slip" and hit the wrong hole...tho I always catch on. They both agreed that those were definite warning signs. BUT in order to stay within their legal rights they cannot make him leave the home unless there is PROOF. I understand that. They can only work within the rights they are given.
I gave them permission to get records from all the counselors the kids and I have been too, gave them names and numbers of people who can attest to what we've been through over the years and what kind of person Alex is. I told them about how he has found one excuse or another not to continue with every counselor he has been too. I need to call legal aid and find out what my rights are. I know legally I cannot keep him out of the house, even if I change the locks he could break in and nothing could be done. Unless I have a TRO. Alex and I discussed that this afternoon. I left the decision to go that route up to her. I discussed the pros and cons. She said that for right she is comfortable NOT doing the TRO because Zach has a bday next week and this is already hard enough on them as it is. I figure Alex can go to her friends house if she doesn't want to see Joe and then I can have his bday someplace public where Joe can come see him. We agreed that we will plug the alarm system back in so that the doors beep everytime they are opened. The windows would have to be BROKEN to get through because they are painted shut. I also told her I would get a new lock for her bedroom door so she can lock herself in there if would make her feel better and that I will sleep in the living room so I can hear if someone pulls up.
Joe promised the CPS lady that he would stay away until all of this is resolved, but we'll see. He didn't take his meds with him when he came by to get some stuff last night. I plan to text him later and ask if he wants to come by and get more stuff right after work, if he says yes, I'll take the kids grocery shopping while he does that. The little ones just don't understand any of this and are really scared. Alex and I agree that since a TRO would prevent him from being able to contact them that it will make it that much harder on them. If we try to go without one he can at least call and tell them good night. We'll see if we can do this the civil way. But I am prepared to get an emergency TRO at a moment's notice. I will download and fill out the paper work and have it on hand at all times. Just in case.
Now I just really really need prayers that I'll find a job and be able to get daycare!!!
Did are CPS interview this morning. At first the lady still seemed real stuck up and like she didn't believe us. I talked to her, then she talked to Zach (7), Abby (8) and Alex (15). While she was talking to them I realized, DUH I had totally forgotten to tell her about all the porn and how he has left it up where the kids could easily see it. So I went back in and told her that. Starting with Alex's interview, the worker we had last year came and sat in. That's when things started turning around some. The new worker seemed muched nicer and more compassionate. SO I went in and told them about the porn and stuff. I also told them how he's always trying to pressure me into anal sex and even when I saw no, he will try to "slip" and hit the wrong hole...tho I always catch on. They both agreed that those were definite warning signs. BUT in order to stay within their legal rights they cannot make him leave the home unless there is PROOF. I understand that. They can only work within the rights they are given.
I gave them permission to get records from all the counselors the kids and I have been too, gave them names and numbers of people who can attest to what we've been through over the years and what kind of person Alex is. I told them about how he has found one excuse or another not to continue with every counselor he has been too. I need to call legal aid and find out what my rights are. I know legally I cannot keep him out of the house, even if I change the locks he could break in and nothing could be done. Unless I have a TRO. Alex and I discussed that this afternoon. I left the decision to go that route up to her. I discussed the pros and cons. She said that for right she is comfortable NOT doing the TRO because Zach has a bday next week and this is already hard enough on them as it is. I figure Alex can go to her friends house if she doesn't want to see Joe and then I can have his bday someplace public where Joe can come see him. We agreed that we will plug the alarm system back in so that the doors beep everytime they are opened. The windows would have to be BROKEN to get through because they are painted shut. I also told her I would get a new lock for her bedroom door so she can lock herself in there if would make her feel better and that I will sleep in the living room so I can hear if someone pulls up.
Joe promised the CPS lady that he would stay away until all of this is resolved, but we'll see. He didn't take his meds with him when he came by to get some stuff last night. I plan to text him later and ask if he wants to come by and get more stuff right after work, if he says yes, I'll take the kids grocery shopping while he does that. The little ones just don't understand any of this and are really scared. Alex and I agree that since a TRO would prevent him from being able to contact them that it will make it that much harder on them. If we try to go without one he can at least call and tell them good night. We'll see if we can do this the civil way. But I am prepared to get an emergency TRO at a moment's notice. I will download and fill out the paper work and have it on hand at all times. Just in case.
Now I just really really need prayers that I'll find a job and be able to get daycare!!!
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