Emotional abuse

[Raerae336]

Hi, so long story short... I was raised in an emotionally abusive environment, now I'm in am emotionally abusive relationship. My fiance and father of my three children gets mad at me when were in an argument and calls me fat ugly a dumb ***** a **** you name it. But then can be super sweet sometimes. He's cheated multiple times, doesn't have a job or a license anymore... Yet I always go back to him. I work and am going to school for my nursing degree. I can be a ***** sometimes lol but honestly nothing outragous just get mad about normal stuff..  Whenever we fight (about 2x a week) no matter what he says to me or names he calls me I always take him back and sometimes even apologize to him when I've literally done nothing wrong. I always feel bad for him. Like right now, my mom bought a house and I'm doing a rent to own deal with her on the house. He treats me like **** and I want to kick him out yet I think to myself, he'll have no where to go no car or money then I feel bad and don't do it and now he's helped out a ton with this house I feel like that's another reason to feel guilty about kicking him out of there. When were together I feel lazy and don't take good care of myself when we are apart I loose weight and take much better care of me. I don't know what to do anymore but am so stock of being cut down and would hate myself if any of my kids got into a relationship like this yet I know it's possible given my relationship., when I said I grew up with an abusive enviorment I meant every other weekend I'd go to my dads and my step mom would get drunk and call me a stupid **** and such at like age 5-10 when she was drunk then the next day act like nothing happened and tell me if I told my mom I'd neve be able to see my dad again so I never told I just adapted until my dad caught on and left her.i need help and don't know where to turn ... Xx thanks for listening xX

[allmymarbles]

You chose this man to live with and have children with. probably because the abuse was familiar to you. You may have even thought it normal at the time. But now you are older and, seeing other partnerships, want more for yourself and your children.

Do you need this man? He doesn't work. You work, go to school, and pay all the bills. He is no use to you, except for what grudging affection he may give. There is no advice anyone can give that will change him. The person to change is you. You deserve better. Think about finding it.

It is interesting that you let yourself go when you are with him and spruce yourself up when you are not. Rather the opposite of ones behavior with a lover. Tha tis something else to think about.

[margypops]

See it always concerns me that the children are part of this behavior and fighting and its not good for them , it will affect their lives . My opinion is you should ask him to get some counseling in anger management, this is not the way to live.Unless you get tough on him it will continue the children will be traumatized and he will get worse. So talk to him , tell him you cannot live this way and how you are concerned for the children .Just do it...or leave for good  

[Raerae336]

I gues I better add that he can have great moments where I'm absolutely I love hence why I fell in love in the first place but now it's more like a guilty love not an in love like I don't want to hurt him even after all he's put me thru.