Totally distressed...

[lmatoso]

I have been in a relationship for the past 2 years.  At first this man was as close to being perfect as can be.  Charming, sweet, generous...the kind of guy everyone would want to be with. To make a long story short...I found out after 1 year of being with him (and moving in with him) that he has been lying to me about EVERYTHING since the day we met!!  I confronted him and made him admit his lies to me and I told him I would try to close this chapter and start a new one if he promised to stop the lying.  
He did okay at first and then I started to notice that he was lying to me again!  I think he's a pathological liar.  He not only lies...he spends ALL his money on nothing!!  He's totally irresponsible!
I have become very "turned off" by him and am unable to be intimate with him.  I'm not even able to kiss him or hug him anymore and I told him this.  I told him not to touch me because I can't give him what he wants from me as far as affection and intimacy go.  
A couple of nights ago...I woke up to him touching me everywhere as though I was awake!  He was even talking as though I was awake!  It scared me and I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to be asleep and thought he would stop but he didn't...he just kept touching and kissing me everywhere.  I'm freaked out by this man and I have mentioned to him that I think it would be better if we broke up.  He was very upset and again when I was sleeping, he was talking to me and he mentioned that he can't live without me and that he would kill himself.  
I'm don't know what to do or how to go about breaking up with him...does anyone out there have any suggestions...has anyone ever gone through something like this?

[allmymarbles]

I just read your second entry. It would appear to me that you are using him. And he, for his own needs, is using you. Seems like a fair trade. Pardon me if I withhold sympathy.

[allmymarbles]

Where is the abuse part? And why do you keep seeing him? I don't understand your problem. If a guy is creepy you cut him off. If he commits suicide (which I strongly doubt) that has nothing to do with you.

[kathy434]

Contact your local Domestic Violence Women's Help Center.  They are all around the country.  They can help you.  Also if you are not able to find them locally, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  They can help you.  !-800-799-7233.
Also contact your local Welfare Office and see what you and your sons can qualify for on financial assistance, housing, food stamps etc. medicaid (healthcare), etc.  Contact these people at once and start the ball rolling.  Most of the time, we feel we can't leave for any number of reasons, when in reality we can.  You need only to take the first step.  Keep us posted.          K

[imanaddict]

Telling your family would be an excellent idea. I know it will be hard but if you can't do this on your own (financially) maybe your family could help by letting you and your kids stay with them. You have got to enlist them as reinforcements. Your family and friends will understand and won't want this happening to you. Don't be scared of what they think, you have done nothing wrong! YOU are the victim and so are you children and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Do this for your kids if no one else.

I wish you the best and I hope you'll keep us posted.

[lmatoso]

Thanks for your replies and advice!  The only thing is that it's really hard for me to just pack up and go!  First of all, I have 2 kids and financially right now, I'm not sure I could make it as a single mom...this is part of why I'm so distressed!
I"m desperate to leave and he freaks me out with his behavior.  He is very manipulating.  But, I feel so stuck because of finances!  I put my name on a waiting list for low income housing but the waiting list is 1 year long!  My family have no clue as to what I"m going through...I"m not sure I could tell them...

[kathy434]

These folks are right.  It is time to get yourself out of there NOW.  He is very unstable and In my opinion dangerous.  Stay with family, a friend, go to a hotel, or even leave town.  Get away.  You are not safe now.    Kathy

[guessagain]

What ever he does to himself, is NOT your responcibility, remember that above everything else. It may not be a pleasant break up, but take care of yourself first. Line up a place to go, don't tell him where it is, pack your stuff when he's gone, and go. This stuff about living is manipulation, it goes very well with the lying.

[margypops]

It seems really that if you are scared you shouldnt be with him and still sleeping with him, so pack your bags and leave.you have moved in with him so it is in your hands to leave him, it wont get better read some of the posts here they are  an opener ,plenty of decent kind, generous men out there , more than the blaggards, so do something about it..it will enpower you you will be forever glad you did. Good Luck let us know how it goes..