abused as a child

[spengreg]

My brother has just starting opening up to me about the abuse he lived through as a child.  We were all abused, but his situations were very different than mine.  He says he is in counseling, though I am not sure if this is true.  I have been reading (he has been sending letters) of the abuse and thought it would be ok to respond to him.  I in turn wrote him a letter saying what happened to him was not ok.  One example was as a young boy (under 10 years old) he would wander the streets in a very very bad neighborhood, and was picked up and paid by an older male to take inappropriate photos of him. This went on for at least a year.  My attempt was to make him understand that it was not ok for an adult to do this to him, but I believe he took the comment as a judgement on him.  How can I help him?  I find re-living our horrible past very upsetting, I have dealt with my past, and I want to be of help to him.  I do not find it healty to only listen to his stories and not try to make him see the harm that was done.  If he is not getting counseling, what would be the best way to help?  Should I just listen and not speak?  I truly belive he has no concept of unconditional love, so everything I want to say will be taken as a personal judgement.

Please help me know the correct role to play in this situation.

spengreg

[jml1986]

I agree with jo929 the first thing that I would do is to let him know you love him and that you in no way meant to offend him. I would tell him you are there him when he needs you to listen to and then the rest is up to him. I hope for his sake that he will continue to open up to you so he can put this behind him and live the best life possible. I wish you both luck.

[jo929]

i can only say that if it were my brother i would hsve him sit down and tell him first of all that you love him no matter what maybe listen then calmly tell him yes we or a lot of people were abused but they have worked through this and i am ready and willing to try and help you put the past behind you or you will never never go forward when you know the cause work hard and find the solution and get on with your life you can not live in the past and find a good future he will stay an unhappy person and go backwards if he does not do something to help himself you cant do it all for him just be there   lots of luck  jo he does need to talk about it and then it is behind him tell him to let go