What I found out about my boyfriend

[unsure0226]

I just found out that 2 years ago, when my boyfriend was 23, he had sex with a 15 year old. I know that it is illegal and it makes me just sick. What can I do?

[sadmomma4]

I am unsure about this, when I was 16 I got pregnant by a 22 year old man, he is the father of my son, and he is now married to a woman his own age, and they have a couple of kids together, I am not sure he is a pervert, but some people called him that, and he actually tried to kill himself over it.  He is a good man, and a good father now, but he suffered and didn't see our child for years, and I know it was wrong (fortunately for him it was not illegal - as we actually had proof of the relationship), he didn't force me or even talk me into it, I pushed for the sexual relationship for my own reasons.  I am not sure I see it as others, although it is against the law, I looked like an adult at 16, and acted like an adult, I look out for my daughter by keeping them young.  I do not allow make up and certain types of clothes and my daughter looks a lot younger then other girls younger then her.  I really don't know the full situation, neither does anyone else, but it is hard to say.  given that it is against the law, he should have to pay for breaking the law.  My son's father has never even dated anyone as young as I was since, all his girlfriends since me were his own age, so is he really a pervert?

Good luck it seems like you are in a tough situation, I hope you work out whatever is best for you.

[kenneltech]

If the man hasn't had any kind of intense therapy for this problem, he will do it again.  Statistics show that a ********* doesn't change, even with therapy!!  He probably told you because he wanted "everything out in the open," and to be honest with you.  But sometimes, there are things that you need to be very careful about. He can tell you that he has changed, and he may not have done anything else like that in a very long time, if ever, but the day will come.  Would you trust him around your kids?  If you take a deep look at that question and the answer is "no," then get the heck out!

Look up the statistics of a ********* and their success rates in "being cured," they are almost non-existent!  Do your research before you just trust your heart because if this relationship gets deeper and you decide to marry, you better keep your kids under lock and key from their father.

[heyjude1]

I would have no quams about breaking up with him if it were me,  you will never know if he is telling the truth and probably never trust him around kids...but, like mentioned previously, you know him and we don't.  I guess what really bothers me is...okay here it goes...what if he has done this with other minors,  what if he does it again, will he do this again.  You know we all hear so many stories about child molesters that prey on kids and can you imagine how that screws up their heads and effects their lives.  Your boyfriend was old enough to know it was wrong and he could go to prision for what he did, yet, he did it anyway.  Wow, this must be eating away at you.  You know, I wonder if it would help to talk to a physcologist or a mental heath professional and get a feeling from them by telling them about his behaviors, etc.  they may be able to tell you if he may have the personality of someone that could prey on kids....you have more to be concerned about than youself...you have kids to worry about and you must feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. I definitely think you need to discuss this with a professional.  Good luck to you.

[alexofori]

i agree with all of them, buy lets all be a little rational here. why did he tell u? and what is the asurity that he is the same person and will do it again. if he had had the guts to tell u it means he feels guilty and regrates his action. but any way u know him better than all of us so the decition is still urs. hope u make the right one. good luck.

[margypops]

Theres your answer and I agree with all of them ...

[kenneltech]

What are you so unsure about?  What if that were your kid he had sex with?  Would you be unsure then?

One rule every woman should have:  NEVER date a PERVERT!!!  They don't change.

[heyjude1]

Then on the other hand, what about the kids he talks into to having sex?  If he told you about that, what has he done that you don't know?  If it were my daughter, I would want to see him pay for that.  Yet, you have loyality, I guess you are going to have to do what you feel in your gut on this one.

[specialmom]

I guess you can break up with him.  I think what you should be concerned with is not retribution for his actions but instead how YOU feel about it.  If that is a deal breaker----- move on.  That is what dating is for.  Learning the things we need to know about someone and moving on if we don't like them.  good luck