Aa
abuse
hey
ive been with my partner for nearly 6 years, he was in the army for 10 before i met, he has ex wife and a 8 yr old he actually lost a child to his ex.
im typing about i think emotional and physical abuse, i know he has been through and seen alot of things so far but we have arguments about simple things and he screams shouts in my face and times hurt me at first i would cower and be upset now i hit out back at him which ends up in further physical fights,
to other he is a fun easy going guy and when we are out together this is true but he kind of switches from the smallest things like 'i left the key in the door' or ' i take to long to pick out veg' or not sure what i wanna do for the weekend' just simple things make him fly off the handle, 999 was called by a neighbour actually as he was strangling me i dropped charges through him crying saying he was sorry but a while after he actually does not think he did owt wrong or doesn't want to believe it, a lot of times it gets put back on me and then i wonder well is it, but i know its not but he still gives that doubt do i make him like this for being a little dumb, recently my sister witnessed it when he began an argument over a bombing on the internet which i didnt agree with i was making breakfast he screamed in my face threatening 'answer again and you'll know about it' and 'speak when spat at' this is his what i call 'army head' i had to walk out with her and my niece in bits she was horrified.
however when things are good they are great but i think he needs help to talk about things but without going to docs is there any help services about.
thanks
ive been with my partner for nearly 6 years, he was in the army for 10 before i met, he has ex wife and a 8 yr old he actually lost a child to his ex.
im typing about i think emotional and physical abuse, i know he has been through and seen alot of things so far but we have arguments about simple things and he screams shouts in my face and times hurt me at first i would cower and be upset now i hit out back at him which ends up in further physical fights,
to other he is a fun easy going guy and when we are out together this is true but he kind of switches from the smallest things like 'i left the key in the door' or ' i take to long to pick out veg' or not sure what i wanna do for the weekend' just simple things make him fly off the handle, 999 was called by a neighbour actually as he was strangling me i dropped charges through him crying saying he was sorry but a while after he actually does not think he did owt wrong or doesn't want to believe it, a lot of times it gets put back on me and then i wonder well is it, but i know its not but he still gives that doubt do i make him like this for being a little dumb, recently my sister witnessed it when he began an argument over a bombing on the internet which i didnt agree with i was making breakfast he screamed in my face threatening 'answer again and you'll know about it' and 'speak when spat at' this is his what i call 'army head' i had to walk out with her and my niece in bits she was horrified.
however when things are good they are great but i think he needs help to talk about things but without going to docs is there any help services about.
thanks
Leave .. they will cry and say they'll change. I heard it for s year and before I knew it he was strangling me in his bed and I nearly died. Get..out..now. women die every day at the hands of men like him...get out before it happens to you..please
i can sort of see that my mum has gone through 'difficult relationships' as we have grown up but i always thought i would not be like that and her, but he was fine in the beginning, it does get bad but i think i can maybe the one who helps him if not just leaving him will end him he has told me so but he is better then the ugly side of him, but he only mentions sketches of army and daughter he lost i do think its a big part, what is the VA i will introduce it to him see how it goes and thank you for your comments i have taken the advise in and will let you know how its pans out.
thanks
thanks
Some people are seriously damaged by their army experiences, whereas others appear to come through it without a blemish. You seem to care very much for this man and, yes, as suggested above, he should seek help at the VA, or elsewhere. But keep your own safety in mind. If he refuses help, or if he does not show improvement through therapy, you will have to leave him for your own protection.
The VA does offer mental health help. He should contact them for references in the area he lives in.
However, my advice remains the same for you. You need to leave him. This relationship is violent and toxic. That you so want to work it out worries me about why. Often women with abusive men have deep routed patterns that have caused them to be attracted to unhealthy situations. You should absolutely explore this to get yourself out of it. good luck
However, my advice remains the same for you. You need to leave him. This relationship is violent and toxic. That you so want to work it out worries me about why. Often women with abusive men have deep routed patterns that have caused them to be attracted to unhealthy situations. You should absolutely explore this to get yourself out of it. good luck
if there are any places available where he can get help to speak about why he is angry, been in army for 10 yrs and his baby passing, i dont think he has had the right support for it as it happened whilst he was posted.
What is your question? You have described an abusive relationship, sometimes involving mutual physical abuse. But hat is all. What sort of help are you looking for?
Kaylee. Physical abuse should be a deal breaker. Shouting in your face should be a deal breaker on it's own but physical abuse and "hurting you" is just not acceptable. That you've stayed after enduring this is concerning. You do realize that most wouldn't stay I hope. Why you have is something for you to explore.
It does not matter how rosey it is or how sweet/nice he is or how great it is when he isn't screaming at you or physically hurting you. It doesn't matter one bit. You can NOT stay in a relationship in which someone has hurt you and continues to do so. That person is not safe.
If your mother or sister were with a man and you witnessed that man shout right in their face and then hurt them . . . what would you say? You'd tell them to throw the bum out.
This is what you need to do for yourself. Love YOURSELF enough to do that. Peace to you
It does not matter how rosey it is or how sweet/nice he is or how great it is when he isn't screaming at you or physically hurting you. It doesn't matter one bit. You can NOT stay in a relationship in which someone has hurt you and continues to do so. That person is not safe.
If your mother or sister were with a man and you witnessed that man shout right in their face and then hurt them . . . what would you say? You'd tell them to throw the bum out.
This is what you need to do for yourself. Love YOURSELF enough to do that. Peace to you
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