I don't want to judge neither you or your wife, you know why the situtation is as it is, that you want to share it with us (the readers) or not. However, I have a hard time sympathizing with you when I read that you stay because you don't have a place to go. Get a job, get three jobs if you have to, does it mean you are not working now and your wife is supporting you? Best advice, MAN UP!!!
go live with your sister for a while, until you are on your feet, and every time she starts to fight leave go outside, if she yells call the cops, tell them what's going on they will let u back in the house to get your stuff and leave, taking the bus is 1000 times better than putting up with the wife
lovebird, I like what you said about writing triggers and changing one's reaction to do something else when you are triggered. That is a timeless technique for redirection. thanks for the reminder.
Make a trigger(anything that make u upset) list for how ever long ur willing. Then listen how happened what could been differnt and reaction and what you should have done. Save ur relationship fight don't fly.ask ur parenter sit or text cphone call what ever way will not lead to physical hurt if possibe mental eight.
The courts do just listen and take you to jail I have experienced this. I would say she has a serious issue with pain from a past relationship and forecasts this on you. Many women who have been raped or. Sexually abused self-sabotage relationships because they feel their worth is not worth any good. This sounds familiar to another close friends story and they had to get counseling. I would try going with her to mesh out both of yalls issues. Be open to learn yourself and get involved at a close church that will support you. Get a married couple to mentor you both as well. This insures things being kept in the light so that being thrown in jail is not an option.
If you truly don't have anywhere else to go, The Salvation Army will give you a place to stay until you get a job and save up enough money to pay for a place to live.
BTW, I agree with SM in being incredulous about the lifetime in prison. That's for murderers. I don't know what evidence your wife showed the cop that ANYTHING she said was true, but if she was still alive to talk about it, you wouldn't be going to prison for life.
You've fallen into this classic trap of being able to see walls that don't exist around you.
Hm. Um, life in prison? Wow. What were you accused of? Had to be enough evidence to indict you for this as the courts don't just take someone's word that you did X to them. She must have had some evidence????
Really, I think you should move out onto your own. If you say that she provokes you to hurt her OR you don't really hurt her and somehow you get charged with something that could send you away for life (really? That is the big time------ can't imagine what you were charged with)---------- and the relationship is volatile and unhappy, etc. Well, why would you stay? You should leave and lead a more peaceful existence.
good luck
Don't you have a job? How do you and your wife support yourselves? Are there any children?
I think there is a lot you are not saying and that the problem is more complex than it appears. Please provide more information..