help me help a friend

Question

how do I help my 13 year old friend get away from abusive parents. they hit her, threaten to kill her, throw knives at her. I am only 13 myself. I don't know what step to take. my and my best friend have been friends for 3 years and I don't wont to loose her.

Jinx_777 · Answer

talk to your friend first.  many are scared to leave the situation, even if they are told it will get better.

talk to your parents and maybe  she can stay with your family if she is removed from her family and has no other family that is capable of taking her.  

you are a very kind, loving person.

specialmom · Answer

ugh, this is a really hard situation.  I like the suggestion to talk to your parents.  Have you seen bruises or witnessed this abuse?  It helps to have an outside eye witness.  I would encourage your friend to talk to a teacher or school counselor.  They will act to call CPS.  Or your parents could call them.  What kind of extended family does she have?  Grandparents, aunts, uncles?

Nighthawk61 · Answer

Perhaps you could try to talk to your parents. Maybe they can get her to open up to them, if they make it clear to her that nothing will be done, no authorities called unless she is willing. Thanks for being such a good friend. I was your buddy getting beaten. Well, all i can say is this. That kids that come from that type of abuse often start to experiment with alcohol and drugs, and permiscuous sex at that age, not all of course, but a good many. (Or It could be also though that your friend makes it a point to always be at her best, afraid of what will happen if she is less then her best.) Watch out for any drinking, for they may not handle themselves well. If you could arrange for her to talk to an adult prior to them becoming involved with using alcohol , the earlier the better. Once alcohol happens kids are able to mask the problem, stuff down their feelings. The best thing that can happen is happening. They are talking to a trusted friend. It needs to result in them being able to talk to an adult though, in order to let them see that there are ways around living like they are at home. I wish you the very best.

SwampSpirit · Answer

It's a hard situation. I have been there too. The first thing you need to do is see where she is. If you call authorities and she denies anything is wrong, then they can't do anything, and you might lose her trust in you.
If she isn't ready to admit anything is wrong, you need to stay by her side and give her your love and support, and gentle encouragement that she needs to get out.
If she wants to get help, there are plenty of resources. Find a trusted adult, a doctor, a cop, a teacher, maybe even your parents, and they can help start the process of getting her into a better home.
You are very brave for trying to help her.