is it abuse?

[unknownforever]

I am 17 years old, I've been daiting my boyfriend for four months. He tells me I can't spend time with some people(well anyone). He tells me that in lying all the time when I'm really not. I can't have any guy friends I'm also not allowed to be with my own sister. The reason he doesn't want me to be with my sister was because she smokes pot (but she has stopped) she's my bestfriend and I miss her but I get yelled at and accused that I would do what she does. My mom and my brother are whom I live with and they both smoke cigs and I have horable asthma and he doesn't want me around it but I kinda can't help it because I live here and he yells at me for being around it. Another thing is school he hates that I go to school because all the guys there he thinks I'm going to cheat on him and I never would this kid means the world to me and I tell him that everyday. I always seem to be doing things wrong everyday and he brakes up with me but I cry and he stays. Let me remind you he is adoptid and his birthmother tells me that he is bipoler. He told me he his scared to be abanded again and has no trust. Am I the one in the wrong? I don't leave him because he's my first and he seems that he cares. Am I the one in the wrong?

[unknownforever]

thanks. This is a hard choice. I've had guys that treated me better but I never had that spark with him but I also never really gave him a chance. But the kid I'm with now yeah he buy me things yeah we go to the movies and he buys me dinner and stuff but I don't look for that. I just want to be cared for and looked after and protected. I wanna leave him but yet I wanna stay with him. It feels like both arms I tied at the wrist and I'm being tuged on one side by friends and the other side by him and there going back and forth and I'm stuck in the middle.

[ANewLife4Me]

I would get out of this relationship now, before you end up staying out of comfort and because you feel sorry for him.  He sounds a lot like my Ex, who I stayed with for 20 long years and it does a lot of damage in the long run, a lot.  The person who loves you should be happy to see you have friends, be around them, be around your sister and your family.  The person who loves you would tell you he doesn't like that you are around the smoke and maybe try and find an alternate solution for you, but not yell at you for it.  I could go on and on.  He'll always acuse you of things you aren't doing, but maybe he is actually doing.  Everything will always be your fault, he will always be the hurt little victim.  Ugg, sorry if I sound so bitter but it just disgusts me to see you or anyone treated this way.  But in the end it's Your choice, and only You can get out of this now and being treated this way.

[unknownforever]

wow, 20 years? I wouldn't be able to do it that long. I thought things would change but they haven't. I do love him and I always will it's one of the hardest things I have to do. I'm going to wait until next month and I'm giving it thought. I hope I get my period though to because he kinda... Yeah by acsadent. But I'm really considering it.

[margypops]

If you mean what I think you mean thats still no reason to stay in fact it is the main reason to go ...

[ANewLife4Me]

It will be hard, but it will be harder if you stay, trust me.  That's how I got to 20 years, by always putting it off till next month, or see how this goes, or that goes.  Time flies, it really does, don't waste your youth :)

[unknownforever]

awe, thank you all so much. Still confused I know staying with him would be wrong  but I know I'll be depressed and not know what to do when I do leave.