orders or abuse.....plz help....

Question

Hi,
Me and my boss are too close.
but the problem is he orders me and i follow his orders.the orders if dont get personal is ok for me
but since for the last couple of months i am doing whatever he says,i do feel i am gettin slavish or used by him
and also i cant oppose him.
there are much incidents but citing one,
the last time on an official tour,he ordered me to be pleasant with the clients,to get the deal in any condition
by doing whatever i could.
i did as he said with full dedication,i did expose myself,not wearing my undergarments,and i know
how ashamed i felt when i was alomost nude in that revealing bikini,treated them with full politeness and smiling behaviour,
and the clients were much impressed by my work.we did get the deal,but i was not tipped for that,all my boss enjoyed.
being the associate he should have tipped me,
because it was me who presented the deal in a different manner to them.on askin about my tip,i invited 1 more night
of troublesome sleep with him and he said that was my reward in return of the deal.
but the point is i m gettin hurt by his behaviour and orders,i dont know if he is abusing or using me.i m 
gettin deep emotional troubles and i am really ashamed of what i do.please help.

skmedlin27703 · Accepted Answer

I agree with "margypops", I would move on, start somewhere new... confronting him will only cause you more stress and embarrassment. If I were in your shoes I would want to stand up to him but I would say there are more cons than pros going that route. Have you tried to talk to him about it in an non-confrontational way? If you want to talk to him I would make sure i use sentences that start with "I believe" and "I feel" and be careful not to say "you" in the conversation... but at this point that might not even be worth the energy and stress it would cause you... Good Luck

allmymarbles · Answer

You seem to have an overly submissive nature. This can only cause you harm. You are a  natural for abuse, and if it were not this person exploiting you, then you might choose someone else who would. You need to speak to a professional about your problem.

daisy700 · Answer

thanks 4 da suggestion

daisy700 · Answer

thnks

daisy700 · Answer

what questions shud i ask to myself,i cant oppose him no matter, why i donno kno

daisy700 · Answer

what and how to talk with him

allmymarbles · Answer

I don't get it. He can order you to do something, but that doesn't mean you have to do it.And you say you can't oppose him. Why not? And your big complaint seems to be that for shaming yourself by exciting the clients sexually, you didn't get paid for it. You have some serious questions to ask yourself.

Dazon50 · Answer

I am not sure what type of work you are doing, but it sounds like you are crossing over into an area in which you are being seen more as a sexual object. If you have to dress scantily to get a job through, that is demeaning.

It is your choice to move on or stay and put up with this.  Because you have gone along with this, he may think he can take more liberties with you.  It is up to you to say..."no"!  

No boss should be able to order a person to show their body or to have sex with him/her to keep a job.  That is wrong.  In the U.S., it is grounds for sexual harassment.  

There are better opportunities out there.  I wish you the best in finding your answer.

margypops · Answer

I am uncertain of where you live but in my opinion this would amount to abuse in the US however you are enabling it , so my answer has to be.. you should get another job ...the way you have described what you do I would feel demeaned by him , if you are a hard worker perhaps it wouldnt be too hard to find something else ,it wont get better in fact it could get worse..dont humiliate yourself ...move on ...Good Luck