raped?

[katkat1010]

so long story short, i was at a party and called one of my guy friends that i occassionally hook up with if he could pick me up and if i could stay at his house for the night.  i was obviously very drunk it wasnt hard to tell. all i remember is making it up the stars and onto the bed and i remember having my shorts on because i changed out of my jeans and into more comfortable shorts. the next day i asked him if we had sex he said yes and that i passed out. it made me really mad that he would have sex with me when he knew how drunk i was. however, i remember waking up and my shorts were on. when i told my best friend what happened and that he said we did have sex she joked and said it was kind of like he raped me. and when she said it we  both immediately thought it easily could have been like that.
just because i have had sex with him before does that mean it cant technically be rape? and i blacked out, i dont remember anything about having sex with him, which is pretty scary to me. he told me he used a condom which im sure he did. but it still freaks me out that i couldve been passed out and he couldve just been having sex with me...

what should i do

[colorclan]

i dont fhink its rape however feel it was not cool to have sex with u that drunk... on the hand you need to be more cautious and also not over indulging in alchole till the point u pass out!

[RockRose]

katkat, you don't know what happened that night - you might have passed out later,  or at the end and he may not have noticed.

It is scary that you can't remember your evening - maybe a warning to you to moderate your drinking so you're in control in the future.

[BluCrystal]

I agree with melipops.  And would like to add that even if you do consider him a good and trusted freind, he is NOT if he chose to have sex with you without your SOBER CONSENT.  This is very important: consent does not count if given under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  Some men do not know this, or don't care.  What if he does this to someone else?  What if  he gave you an STD?  Please think hard about this.  I know you will do the right thing... just remember that doing the right thing doesn't always feel good. - Blu

[melipops]

Hi, i think it is a hard moral one because you do have sex with him periodically but technically it is rape because you didn't consent to sex. You need to ask him what happened so you can be clear as to what happened. After you have spoken to him I suggest you think hard about what you want to do. Is this guy a friend and do you trust him? He shouldn't assume that you would have sex and when it comes down to it i think because you can't remember and you did.t consent it is definately non consensual sex. Good luck with this