Ignorant people

[Mangee]

It is great to log in and see all the positive posts. Positiveness, that is definitely the answer, as we see here day in and day out. If you care about yourself enough that all derogatory remarks aimed at you just bounce off, then you are part way home. I am not talking about the people here making those remarks because as we all know those remarks are few and far between. I am talking about those who point the finger and whisper behind your back. Some of them are those who you knew from childhoodand are in essence, false friends who smile to your face but sneer behind your back.  In all my years I have run across that type of hyprocisy many times. You don't have to be and addict, it happens in every walk of life. It happens on the job, at a sports event, a wedding and so on. The important thing is dealing with it for what it is, hypocrisy. Many of those people are those who do their best to hide their skeletons and do so by pointing the finger in order to take the onus away from themselves. These are just two of the ways to deal with them. Develop a thick skin or just ignore them. There is nothing they hate more as when you smile a little, turn your back, and walk away. I have found that they get so angry that they make fools of themselves by spewing venom  that gives them away for what they truly are, NOTHING. So, continue on as if they don't exist and you will find that your step is much lighter and your resolve much stronger.

[atthebeach]

when they point the finger there are three fingers pointing back at them.

[minn66]

NeverDreamed, I work in the same type of environment you do. It is msle-dominant, and while most of the guys are great my boss is a jerk toward women. His wife works in a different department and has a strong personality so my theory is that while she wears "the pants" at home, he flexes his muscles at work. He talks to the women there like he would never dare talk to the men. He has, in front of my male coworkers, insinuated I don't do my job or meet my deadlines even though we all know I do and have the documentation to prove it. I mentioned this because I am really afraid my health issues are going to reinforce what he says about me. I try to tell myself that what he says or thinks about me don't matter but I dread performance evaluation time. He has only been my boss for a few months but I worked with him before.

I guess in short, NeverDreamed, I just wanted to say I understand :)

[lostmakeupgirl]

Def food for thought on this thread :) and I finally stopped moping feel like dirt tbh I know the physical symptoms are not fun but I think its more mental or maybe because I've lived on here the past two days everyone helps so much!

[keith600]

"what others think of me is none of my business",, words to live by,thanks

[NeverDreamed]

I work at a job, where the high school drama is alive and well, unfortunately.  Grown people who talk more behind peoples back than ever.  It's a predominantly male job, and the women are so critical of the new women who come in.  In the beginning I used to go home in tears for what people assumed about me (NEVER TRUE).  Then as I grew accustomed to it, I realized my true friends know me, these people are assuming.  I grew to laugh about it.  Thinking well if my life is more interesting than yours, and you want to dwell on my life, and create a new me in your mind, go for it.  I have better things to do.  I don't care anymore.  Like you said what they think of me is none of my business.  =)

[dominosarah]

Yes we do!!

[rizboy]

Ive found people in recovery are the most kind self aware people you can meet.WE RULE!

[dominosarah]

If someone doesnt want to get to know any of us it is their loss.

[rnangel]

my point exactly ;)

[rizboy]

i think sometimes we dont need to know what people think of us

[rnangel]

My motto...What other people think of me is none of my business !

[rizboy]

very true.such is life

[dominosarah]

I just figure if they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone.

[rizboy]

people who point point fingers are generally hypocrites with nothing better to do than chit chat behind peoples back.They will have made mistakes but cant or wont recognize them.As long as the people in my life who i care about know the truth, i dont care.All i do is stick my chest out, hold my head high and laugh.

[sandstone27]

OK, I get it now...

[sandstone27]

the "bees knees"?    And I agree, Mangee is wise and thoughtful.  I wish he would post more often.  

Sandy

[dominosarah]

Mangee is the "Godfather" of the forum!  He has brought much wisdom and common sense to all of us.  He speaks from the heart and experience and yes, he has been around the planet a few times!!  I dont think he has a mean bone in his body either!!!  lol

I think he is just the bees knees!!

[sandstone27]

Hi,

I read your comment and if you don't mind my asking - is your age correct on your profile?  If so, it may explain why we have differing views on what is a very general subject to begin with.  There are always going to be people in one's life that may not have the other's best interests at heart.  I usually take people at face value, and feel that I'm a pretty good judge of character.  If I find out I'm wrong, and someone is not who they present themselves to be, then I will avoid that person.  But I am not going to go through life looking over my shoulder or constantly questioning another person's motives.  It's not a great way to live.

It sounds like you've been around this planet for a few more years than I, and you may speak from experiences that I have not yet had.  I always try to learn from other people, and I appreciate your post.  But for me,  being optimistic about my life and my future  takes precedence.  

Take care,

Sandy :)

[Mangee]

It is more prevalent than you think. I, for one, was of the same thought as you have but as time progressed and the years passed by more and more info reached my ears and I was, to put it mildly, shaocked at what I learned. I had to think back to other times and who I was told about and I realized that I had a habit of not wanting to see what was written on the wall. It irks me now when I think of how blind I was to what was right there in front of me. I had been told that I was too trustworthy and it was a warning that I refused to ackowledge. Now I  realize, too late, that I couldn't see the,"  Forest for the trees."  It never harmed me because what I didn't know had no effect. Even when I was undercut for a position I wanted I didn't look for anything underhanded. I just thought I never got it because the other person was more qualified. Years later I learned that my application for the promotion never reached the vice president's desk. It had been waylayed by a cohort of the one who got the promotion. So you see, what you don't know about may come back and bite you in the butt at a later date.

[sandstone27]

Hi Mangee,

I enjoyed reading your post - and I agree that this type of thing does happen; but I'm of the school that it doesn't happen nearly as often as we grow up, go through college and develop our careers.  Maybe I'm just not paying attention - if people are pointing fingers at me behind my back or whispering something less than kind, I'm not aware of it.  

I remember the times when it has happened, but to be perfectly honest, I can't think of anything worth mentioning that's happened in the recent past.

I do agree wholeheartedly about how one should respond if this does happen  -  take the high road, and as my Mom would say, consider the source and just move on.  

Sandy

[dominosarah]

Well said~~The ones who do that usually self destruct on their own.