Heartbroken and Addicted

[deo1974]

This is my first time to post so please bare with me. I’m so far into addiction with norco it’s taken over my life. I’ve gone 24 hours so far, and of course I’m miserable. I’m counting the days to my next doctor visit on Monday, but know if I can make it that far I should be able to get past the worst physical pain I’ve ever encountered. It started 3 years ago when I had 3 surgeries within 8 months. I’m so ashamed of the things I’ve done to get more pills. It consumes my day thinking about it. I can’t believe I’ve gotten myself into this mess, and now I don’t know if I have the will power to say no to my next doctor visit where I am guaranteed more pills. I spend the whole day in my head trying to come to the realization that this is not the way to live, but the pain is winning right now. I’ve been reading all of your posts for the past 2 days, and it has been a life saver to know I’m not alone in my thinking. I will keep reading on, and hopefully it will sink in enough that I CAN and WILL cancel my next visit. Thanks to everyone for speaking out, and giving me hope.

[nothingnew]

I agree with gnarly you should just try to quit cold turkey if you are serious about quitting; it is the fastest way and you can't die from withdrawal. Doing anything else will really just delay the inevitable. Your brain has to start producing natural endorphins again- tapering will just prolong this process in my experience and seems like a crutch to me.  Whatever works though

[StillLost21]

I so feel your pain, I feel like I could have written that post exactly. I am addicted to oxycontin, and like you, it's destroyed me. My days are consumed with getting oxycontin, doing it, making sure I have more for the morning, and everything else revolving around oxycontin. I am literally a slave to the drug, and I want to stop so bad, but I just feel like I can't. Every night I go to bed thinking ok, this is it, I am done, tomorrow I will start fresh and get clean, and then I wake up sick in withdrawals, and all I can think about is getting it in my system, so I can feel normal and not sick. I have gone to rehab and worked with a sponsor in AA and I think that stopping drugs is more than just the willpower to say no and fight through the withdrawals, and it has taken me a long long time to accept that. But we have to learn how to live sober now, how to deal with things without taking drugs. I know I can't deal with anything and I avoid everything, and the drugs just help me do that. When you stop, are you going to do any support system/aftercare? I hope we can both find the strength to get clean and stay clean, I hope you choose not to go to your doctor. The drugs and doctors will always be there, but maybe it's time we try something new, and get clean. I with the best to you.

[vicki595]

There are other things you can take for the RLS :  cal/mag tablets,Hylands Restful Legs
at Walmart,tonic water,OJ,and apple juice.  Hot baths also help. Drink plenty of water.
The Lyrica probably won't help the RLS.   Also,ICY Hot applied to legs and arms helps.
Try some of those things~
Good luck and keep posting~
Vicki

[deo1974]

I told my doc that I was having tingling in my hands from my herniated disc (had surgery on that in 07), but needed to find something to calm the RLS when i used all my pills way before time to refill. Anyhow, yes it is the same doctor and he gave me samples to try. i dont like the sleepy feeling i get since i'm already dragging from wd's, but if it keeps RLS at bay I can live with it. It's only day 1 so we'll see!

[IBKleen]

Hi Deo,

Glad to see you got through the day. About the Lyrica, you will not find too many members on this particular forum that are familiar with it, some, but not many. Is it the same doctor that prescribed the Norco? If so, ask him.

Lyrica is typically prescribed for Fibromyalgia so you may want to speak with the members on that forum.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

[deo1974]

Thanks for the comments and support. It's been a very long day for me. Does anyone know anything about Lyrica? I read some info that its for nerve pain (non-narcotic), and I've taken it for the past 2 nights. It seems to be giving me some relief, but the lack of energy is killing me. The medicine makes me tired in addition to the wd's. Anyone used lyrica before?

[gnarly_1]

HI and welcome to the forum...your right where a lot of people find them self's in over your head...it dosent have to be this way...if you have to wait till monday for a refill and your already out of meds your going to go thew the withdrawals anyway so you mine as well make it your last one...getting more pills will only make your situation worst its time to get off the merry go round and get yourself clean once and for all...look up the thomas recipe
on the lower right hand side of the screen it will give you some things that will make this a little ezer for you...right now its all about attitude so go into this with a win win attitude when your done you will no longer be chained to a pill bottle ...YOU CAN DO THIS it just takes some perseverance..if you go to your dr on monday tell him whats going on he can help you ...you need to be pro active in wanting to get off these pills
addiction only gets worst the longer you let it go so stop it wile you can..in the end it is so so worth it good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[nelbow]

i quit about 9 months ago it was horrible and the pain sucked but it was more in my head than really there it subside and you feel better. After the forth day i had a couple of beers and to my suprise it made me fell a lot better not saying you should do this or there is any evidence it will make you feel better but iam sharing my expierence in hopes it will get you threw yours good luck oh and tylenol p.m.'s helped me sleep threw alot of it.

[quitinoxys]

deo1974 It sounds like you want to get off the horrible roller-coaster ride, so you have come to the right place. I Felt the same shame as you but you cannot beat yourself up over it. You need let everyone that truly loves come and give you help. Things will get better I promise. I am on day 4 off cold turkey and I feel somewhat better but what keeps me going is the fact that I will be gaining my life back.  As oompah54 stated Thomas Recipe and vitamin supplements will help. Please hang in there and make it to the other side. I will be praying for you.

[deo1974]

Thanks! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

[deo1974]

oompah and vicki - I completely agree I need to tell my doctor what's going on. This month I finally broke down and told a family member, and gave him my pills. He was helping me taper off. I'm embarassed to say I found a way to get more pills from my doc so I was back to square one. I do believe by next Monday my head will be much clearer. I've read so many people say you aren't yourself, and you will do anything when you are in this mindset to get more pills. I'm trying to be strong, and I know what I need to do. I feel so stupid and weak for getting myself this far, and my misery now is just the payoff for that stupidity. Thank you for your support!

[vicki595]

Hi~
By next Monday you are going to feel much better. Your thoughts will be clearer and you'll want to stay clear.  Being an addict is a huge burden and is all consuming. You
won't miss it !!

Try to push through this.  It's wise to let your doctor know what's going on. He/she may have some ideas to assist you with this.  This is no way for you to live. I promise you,it gets better and being drug free is very liberating!!

Keep posting~We'll support you here

Vicki

[oompah54]

Perhaps you could talk to your doctor.  Be honest and ask for a taper plan or advice and medication to get through withdrawls.  Tapering worked for me but I had my husband hold the pills and only give me the scheduled amount.  (I honestly knew I had no self control when it came to pills)  There is also great information on the Health Pages, such as the Thomas Recipe and vitamin supplements to help  with wds.  

You are the only one that can stop this vicious cycle with the pills.  I know you don't want to continue down this path.  You can do this.  People on this forum will be here to listen and support you.  Wishing you peace and strength.  . .Deb

[jstntime]

Welcome!!!

You truly have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  If you don't cancel that appointment I think you know what will happen.  Of course you could also keep the appointment and go and tell your doctor that the pills have become a problem for you.

You are right.....it IS no way to live.  Your pain will get better when detox is over.  Our minds have a way of creating more pain to make us take pills.  

Alone you are NOT!!!!  Most of us have been exactly where you are now.  Keep reading here and posting and the wonderful people here will help you out.

There IS hope for you.  This IS doable.

Here's hoping you get it figured out!!!!

bob