Day 23....worth it or not?

[Cantdothisanymore]

wow this is hard. i've managed for 23 days to resist temptation. I am proud of that but man, it is so tenuous. i feel like at any time i could give in. the roller coaster of emotions is so hard on me. i think if the cravings would subside i would be better. i manage to sometimes stop thinking about them in the front of my mind but i swear it is always in the back of my mind. I work a little overtime and have a few exta bucks and guess what i think of spending it on?  when will this part stop? this is the part that is kicking my butt. so many of you have such hatred for these drugs and your resolve is so strong, i dont know how or if i will ever grow that much? will I?

[gnarly_1]

HI first off congrats on your clean time ...you are winning this battle one day at a time
as for the cravings I think we all get them from time to time its what you do with them that makes or breaks ya...you need to captivate your thoughts do the self talk in your head
is this rashenal thinking or is it the addict in me rearing its ugly head...first it is just a thought then we start to obsesses on it if not stoped it could very well become an action
you need to break the chain of thought...try to get your mind on something else get lost in some music get out for a walk and clear your head watch tv anything to get your mind off the pills the cravings usually only last 1/2 hr or so if we dont obsess on them...this is why aftercare is critical....it teaches you the skills and gives you the tools to help deal with stuff like this...you will find your addiction much ezer to manage once your pluged into some form of aftercare...I know we beet this drum often but it is the only way I know of to avoid relapse...once you start romancing the idea of getting high just one more time you are 1/2 way there to doing it...relapses start days ahead of time long before you actually take the pills you really need to put some preventive measures in place now...good luck and God bless.....Gnarly    

[sunshine1109]

Hey there, don't want you to think I have forgotten you because I havent...Ive not been feeling to great but Im hanging in there....I wrote on sad's post a lil and I see yours has been quiet..but your still fighting and thats good, you will find it gets easier you have gone through some tough stuff here but your going through it and your making it. Have you looked into any aftercare because its so important in early recovery, check it out and see whats available, N/A meetings are everywhere and they do help..well Ill try and get back on here later gotta go get my shop on...you take care...shine

[overit2day]

You are doing great!  You have come so far and I am so proud of you.  The emotional part of all this is what I struggle with each day... You are not alone.  Keep up the great work!

[Dav125]

Morning Cantdoit,,,I've been hit and miss with the site lately but still keeping an eye on you:) Keep counting days girl. Your doing great!

David :)

[Cantdothisanymore]

wow - you are all so great.  thanks for the notes and the inspiration. I need them today  ( this week)  I am having a hrad time.

[sad1258]

you are sooo right it is not the way to live..I will not go back either, I am just still trying to figure me out.. thanks

[sad1258]

ok sunshine..you brought me back..God what I have been saying all along...no I take that back I did not like myself..I liked how the pills made me feel but I don't like the person it made me..pulled me away from my family..isolated myself from friends and I have become a lonely and depressed person...so thanks I will look at it that way again instead of dwelling on the fact that I can't have a pill...I need to get off the pity pot!!!   thank you!! Love Audra!!

[sunshine1109]

Sad and Cantdo---Okay im back, are ya ready for this,  well I'm one of the ones who have a huge hatred for the pills I was taking, the first few years I took them it was great but what they did to me in the end was a nightmare..I guess what you could say is I hit my bottom, I went from a happy go lucky, social butterfly (as my hubby called me) outgoing, life of the party, loved my job at the Nuclear Plant....to...not wanting to go or do anything, isolating, depressed, then my health was affected, couldnt eat, sleep, lost so much weight, was hospitalized..lost my job of 15yrs,  I was just one big mess and my poor family also suffered but I didnt know it and I guess I didnt care....then it took me 3 long agonizing mths away from home in a rehab. to get me through for I couldnt do it on my own....OH YES I HATE THEM D A M N PILLS.... we are all different my last yrs using was awful, but then I took them for ten yrs so maybe thats why my experience was so bad I'm not sure....I hope one day you will think back to what you went through because of this addiction and maybe just maybe you will hate them to...right now your so new into your recovery, I myself didnt hate them early on but now Im thinking straight and the reality of it all has sunk in. You are all doing so great and I'm so happy to be on here to hear of your progress...Sorry for the long story but oh my it was a bad time in my life...You all keep strong...God Bless..Shine

[6stringrock]

You are an inspiration to those of us trying to get where you are at.

[jstntime]

Hey again,

So happy to see you still adding those days.  Yes the cravings $uck but their severity, duration and frquency will ALL lessen over time.  23 days is an amazing accomplishment but it took you much longer than 23 days to ingrain your pill taking behavior.

You just worry about the day you are on and the rest will take care of themselves.

Very very happy for you,

bob

[overit2day]

Sad- I will bring it! But not in the way you think... I feel the same exact way you do!  I could get so much done when taking oxys.  I was energetic, happy, motivated, all of those things.  I do not hate the pills either.  I keep telling myself that taking pills every day was just not the way to live.  Don't worry though, I am not going back.

Cant- my fiance and I asked each other "will we ever have fun again without the pills?"  You should be proud of yourself for resisting.  For me, all it takes is one phone call.  I refuse to make that call.  You can do this!  Are you still an emotional wreck?

[sad1258]

ha! found you again...I am so proud of you!!!! Have I told you that lately?  anyway..I know what you mean about alot of people on here do have such a hatred for the pills but I am like you I don't...I just feel sad and depressed and mad because I can't have one.. I hear people talk about they didn't like the person they were on their drug of choice but and I am going to say it I liked me I could take 3 or 4 hydros a day and be perfectly content. I am certainly not proud of lying to my doctors (I didn't like me then) I don't think this is the attitude to have but it is how I feel...I wonder if this will change?  I want to be mad at the pills but I am not?  I know I am probably going to get lots of feedback from this one..so bring it on somebody!!
vikki..I hope you have sweet dreams again tonight!!  Hugs to you...Audra

[sunshine1109]

Hi just checking in I hope your doing well...Im having a not so great day but Ill try and get on here later I have to put my granddaughter to bed...I pray you had a great day..Tricia

[Cantdothisanymore]

morning and thanks for your notes. day 24 and i OVERSLEPT. can you believe it. all this time unable to sleep and now i sleep through my alarm and have to go to work an hour late but who cares!  I actually slept.  this will be one of those really good days because i think the lack of sleep has definitely contributed to my emotional roller coaster.  Off to work but will check in from there. thank you again.

[GoingToMakeIt]

It is worth it!
Is it easy? Not on your life!
Can you do this? Yes
You will be constantly tempted, so now is a good time to learn all of your defensive moves.
Read about PAWS in the health pages, here.
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-1/show/39?cid=66
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-2/show/40?cid=66
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-3/show/41?cid=66

[vicki595]

Yes,you WILL get there!!   I was just going to post on Sad's post to you.  Sometimes we need a little help to feel better. Quite a few people are on antidepressants.  You might want to look into that.  Our brain chemistry gets so out of wack,it needs to be helped along.     Hating the pills is a learned thing. At least for me!  But,once I did that
it got better.  Also,recovery care helps a lot. Meetings,therapist etc...NA is free and people have great experiences.

This is when the work comes in and it makes the withdrawals seem like a picnic in comparison!!  This part is hard,I know.

Give it a bit more time and get into fighting mode!!  Move,jump around,get your heart rate up for a bit.  That helps in the moment...

Keep posting and don't worry!!

V.