Can I do this alone?

[jmrcan1516]

I've been reading the posts on this site for around 2 weeks now, and I have to say how amazed I am at how supportive and kind everyone is!!! I'm really glad too, cause I'm gonna need all the support I can get! I've been addicted to hydrocodone for about 3 years now, and just within the last year or so it has escalated and really gotten out of hand. I really want/need to quit but I'm very afraid of the withdrawals....I took my last pill this afternoon and actually said goodbye to the person who has been selling them to me! I'm ready ( I hope!) for this, I'm just so scared of the withdrawals and doing it alone...I'm scared I'll just start up again. I do have my husbands support, but that's all.... Can I really do this? Can I really do this on my own? I want to quit soooo bad, is there anybody that can give me any advice? I know reading the posts on here have helped already...

[clean_in_ks]

Welcome.......and NOT BUYING ANY MORE PILLS IS A GOOD THING!!!!

Having your hubby's support.......IS A GOOD THING!!

Having done it before and failed......IS A GOOD THING.....IF YOU LEARN FROM IT!!!

Making this decision at 15-16 pills/day and not getting up to 20-30 pills/day like me........IS A GOOD THING!!

Finding this web site; reading others experience, strength and hope.......IS A GOOD THING!!!  (I was over 60 days clean b4 I found this site, and hadn't been on a computer for ages)

You will automatically have some anxiety about w/drawing.....but such good advise and preparedness on here!!
If I can do it without all of these wonderful recovering/attempting recovery addicts......and their tips......you can too!  You are more equipped!!

A couple of things I did, or tried that I'll pass along:
I kept a little notebook in my "w/drawal bedroom" LOL!  I wrote down how I felt each day, my sleep, my pukes (I kept 4 large plastic bowls with rubber grips on the bottom of the bowls under my bed (lol), my bathroom routine, my twitches, my talking outloud to No one at night when I should have been asleep, the radio/songs I heard in my ears when there wasn't even a radio ON!.  All that junk!  The reason it was good for me was because when I imagined, or feared, or just "thought" I was not progressing......all I had to do was look back and read, realize and, be grateful I wasn't still doing certain things that day that I did the day before!  It was great therapy.....
.....and encouraging for me personally.  I also have looked back in that little book thru out this journey forward to help me NEVER FORGET, and I plan to look back on it NOW at 110 days clean and again when my addictive brain tells me "a" pain pill would sure make my pain go away.....or make my anxiety go away.  WRONG!!  I would never take just one pill......I'm an addict!!   I love real, life rollercoasters.......not the hyrdocodone rollercoaster.
Another thing that worked good was cotton PJ's vs. a synthetic fabric.  I wasn't as miserable with my chills and sweats in cotton!  It soaked up my sweat...gross.... and didn't get me so cold......but had to change bed clothes and pj's frequently....so have em ready for yourself.
...Also, a big, long hot pad was my Comfort.......many, many times.
If I couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, couldn't slow my heart rate down, couldn't shut my head off, if I put the full size (it's bigger than std size) hot pad on my tummy, chest, area......it really, really warmed me inside and out.  Seemed to calm me down and help me at least "rest" even if I could not really and truly deep sleep like I've always been used to doing.

We'll all be around for you.  Just don't listen to your head.....AT ALL.....it will lie and lie and lie to you.  You've done this b4....you know about the lies.
Lastly, FEAR stands for this:
F-false  E-emotions-  A-appearing  R-real

Lastly, (finally)  here's one of my favorites, "COURAGE IS FEAR THAT HAS SAID ITS PRAYERS".
If you put the same energy and determination into getting clean as you did into getting pills.......you will win!!
I just KNOW you will)))))))

[candy_17]

To answer your question, yes you can do this!! If I done it and all of the people here that's done it, so can you! All you need is dedication and commitment. When you are feeling terrible keep telling yourself that you're going to be ok and that its going to pass and its going to be worth it and all of that isn't a fairytale, its the truth, I promise you. Keep posting as I'm sure you'll have many questions along the way and the people here are great. Blessing to you:)

[jmrcan1516]

Thanx to everybody already!!

[jmrcan1516]

And the anxiety of wondering and worrying where I'll get my next pill, and worrying about the pills after that too!!  As you can probably tell by now, I'm a very anxious person!! And I do tend to over think everything! That's why I'm so scared of the withdrawals, I have tried to quit 1 or 2 times before, and it was the withdrawals and my own mind that made me go back. I really do need to stop thinking and take it a step and a moment at a time. Thank you both for your support already!

[akitagurl12]

Hi!  I am glad you found this website!  I remember when I first found this site, I was taking close to the same amount of hydrocodones some days as you and it started freaking me out.  It is scary how quickly it can start getting so out of control.  And the worst part is our tolerance will keep increasing, it never decreases over time.  So yes, NOW IS THE TIME TO QUIT.  The withdrawals may be uncomfortable (like a bad flu) & it is going to take alot of mental work, but it is totally doable & worth it.  This website is amazing, so there will be people here with you every step of the way, you just need to take those first steps.

[Sonrissa]

Dont you just love doctors sometimes? I can remember the absolute terror every month when I called to ask for my refill, and thinking that my doctor could just cut me off any time and for any reason! I am so glad and grateful that I am off of that roller coaster! You will be so glad also! Just think of all the money you will save, and all of the stress that goes along with this horrid addiction! Stay strong, we are here for you!

[Sonrissa]

Hi jmrcan and welcome! Congrats on your decision to quit! How much Hydrocodone have you been taking per day? Please try not to be afraid of the withdrawals! Our minds can really make things worse than they actually are! I'm glad you have your husbands support! That alone will help you tremendously! Do you work! If so, are you able to take a few days off while you get through the physical withdrawals? The best advice I can offer is to have a good plan and stick to it! Make sure you are well prepared! If you haven't done so already, please check out the Thomas Recipe, the link is at the bottom of this page. Make sure you are taking vitamins and supplements, get some Immodium for any stomach and bathroom issues! Stay very well hydrated by drinking water and Gatorade! Get some Ensure or Boost drinks to have if you don't feel like eating! Also try to stay as active as possible! Short walks outside in the fresh air and sunshine will help immensely!  Warm baths with Epsom salts will help with restlessness, especially restless legs.

Most important, keep posting with any questions you may have or if you need any support! Lots of wonderful and caring folks here who will help and guide you through every step! I'm sure I have forgotten something, and others will be along to add to this! I wish you all the best! You should be through the worst of it in about a week! You can do this! Try not to worry about what may or may not happen! Don't anticipate, just try relax and let this progress! Take care! Please keep posting!

[jmrcan1516]

I started out, like everyone else it seems, with my doctor prescribing them, then he realized that I was addicted to them and refused to prescribe them for me any more, or help me. I was taking around 15 7.5's and that wasn't doing much for me anymore so " a friend" got me methadones, and I went way overboard on those (16 in a 24 hour period!), so now the 7.5 hydrocodones don't even do anything anymore, just make me feel sick. So now it's either quit or start taking them in even larger amounts, which I don't want to do, I want to quit!!!

[Free2agoodhome]

Welcome,,,,

You know the answer.... It is very possible to do this..but you're not on your own....

Give a bit more info on amounts taken..

Get your supplies...don't over think it...just nibble at today,,worry about tomorrow...tomorrow...

Post as often as you like..we can share with you what to expect...

We're all here...because we been.... there..   ;-)


Free~