4 days

[kittysRN]

I am four days without Norco.  I was at a 90mg a day habit for quit some time. My original plan was to taper but I ran out and it's been cold turkey.  Would it be worth taking some small doses this next week to ease up on these symptoms or would that be stupid and start me getting sick again? By small doses I mean one 10 my 2 - 3 times a day? Before I was taking 3 10 me at a time 2 to 4 times daily for about a year.

[kittysRN]

Feel sluggish and agitated.  Going to bed now. Besides being agitated and restless work was ok.

[kittysRN]

I work night shift on the weekends so I am trying to make it through the night. I just hope it's a quiet shift. I'll post again at 6 am before I go to bed for the day.

[dedicatedtostop]

Hang in there please! I truly feel that Tommorow will be a much much better day for you! I agree with Ms Delight, the country is at epidemic proportions with drug abuse! I know here where I live the DEA has cracked down hard on Dr's giving out narcotics, so it's actually been a blessing in disguise. I truly think that your going to have a breakthrough Tommorow! I am thinking about you, I am pulling for you!! I also agree NO suboxone!!!!! I went down that route a year ago and it only created a whole other mess! I was fortunate to get off of it pretty quick but it was by far the WORST! I remember thinking, " I should have just withstood the withdrawal from the pils"... Sweetie, I promise you that you are so very close!!! Just look at me! Please make sure to cut off all connections. If you want this bad enough, you must!!! There can not be any temp stations at all! I want you to let me know how you are feeling Tommorow okay? I am so proud of how far you have already come! Keep going, think positive thoughts. Everything you feel now WILL pass!!  Please don't ever look back. This is the beginning of your new life, one filled with love, happiness and everything you deserve!
Please post Tommorow on how your feeling. I just know, it's going to be a better day!
Xoxo

[kittysRN]

I have decided to give NA another shot. I will start with a women's group. My mom is helping me. She is a bit of an enabler but she understands that it's getting bad and I need to stop. It feels so good to interact with people that know what I am going through.  

[msdelight]

Hi Kitty you're in good company here. There are a few members who are RNs, myself included. This disease effects people of all ages, backgrounds, and economic status. It's at epidemic proportions in this country. I understand your need for discretion and I believe yo u can do this. You will start feeling physically better soon, and have some good days, when a bad comes the mental aspect will kick in and you will be vulnerable to relapse. That's why you need to cut all your sources, because the more impossible it is to score the easier it will be. The feeling will pass if you don't give in and you will be glad you didn't use. You may not be able to fully "tell your secret" but make sure someone close knows you're in recovery and can hold you accountable.  Do find a comfortable place to do work on recovery. If meetings don't work then maybe therapy, but no suboxone.  So glad you are here,  we love our nurses! This forum did a lot for my recovery.

[kittysRN]

Thank you so much :) like most of you it started out as legitimate pain/rx but it spiraled away from me. I know several nurses and at least one Dr. That is in the same boat as me. 1000 isn't enough and 1 is to many. It can only end with me dead or in jail if I don't take control of this. Thank you again for your support.  :)

[dedicatedtostop]

In trust me, I know what it means not to have your records exposed!! You know I have also heard that Dr's and Nurses are highly suspectable to drug abuse! Sigh...  Just keep posting here, I will be behind you all the way okay? Your so so very close and I think tommorw you will start to feel better. Just please don't take Anything at all!! Please. You are so close! Someone once told me that the only ending to continuing to use is death :(... Always remember 1 pill is to many and it will start you back at square 1. Try to go to bed early if you can and wake up to a better Day tommorw, another step closer. It CAN be done and I know you will brake these chains of bondage! I am pulling for you!

[kittysRN]

Yes I am an RN.  :/ I do know not to take the methadone.  That I was sure of. I don't want to ever try and come off of that.  Everyone kept saying taper and do it slow!  I tried. Oh I tried. The last day I did only take 3 all day. But I gave the last of them to mom and went cold turkey.  Monday I had 90mg Tuesday 30 mg. Nothing since. The guy I get them from high fived me and said good for you when I told him.  He said he won't call me when he has anything anymore. As a nurse I can't ask for help.  I can't have that in my medical record.  So I have to pull through this alone. I had some very disappointing NA experiences. Including someone telling me, it's just pills it's not like you are smoking crack. ....  There is a refuge recovery near me run by Buddhist monks so today I am going to try that. If it doesn't work I'll find a different NA meeting place.

[dedicatedtostop]

First, let me ask this. Are you an RN? I am an LPN but when things like this happen our medical knowledge seems to slip away. I asked that since your name. Many say that Day 4 is the worst and once you get through that you are almost through the physical part. For me personally, that was spot on. My Day 5 ( yesterday ) was SO much better than the day before and so far today even better. DO NOT under any circumstances take the Methadone! If you do that, your creating a whole other problem!! Just focus on one day at a time.. For me, I have tried to have the most positive attitude possible and I really think that's made this process more bearable. It's as much mental as physical. Your brain is distorted right now. If you think of pills, you need to think of nothing but how they ruin and take lives!!! That's all they do ( for those of us that misuse them ). I know if pills cross my mind, I could literally throw up at the thought of ever taking another one, of ever being back there because once you take just 1.... The whole cycle starts over again and it's never ending!! You have already came so far and I know you don't ever want to go back there. I have a bad back, sure it hurts but I will never go back there. Your so close. Someone told me yesterday that day 5 is actually when your urine test clean! Your so close! Just think of this as a " moment " and this too shall pass. Have you gotten rid of any stashed pills? Cut off access? I had to cut a " friend " out of my life just because she has the pills and although I think she means well; I just couldn't chance it.

[msdelight]

It's good you can't taper!  Be done with it! Its about a week and you will be feeling better in a few short days.  You must change your playmates and playgrounds asap if you are going to be successful.  Anyone who suggests you take methadone for a Vicodin habit does not know how to help you. Its hard when our close friends are wrapped up in the life we lived before getting clean.  May I suggest that you limit contact with such folks until you are much much stronger.  Go to an NA/AA meeting, smart or celebrate recovery and make some new sober friends. Commit to this recovery all the way. There is no way around it., only through.  It will be over before you know it. Set yourself up to win and you will.
Honey I totally understand.  I quit percocet over a year ago because the the taper didn't work and the supply ran out. I jumped off the cliff kicking and screaming and believing drugs were the answer to all my problems. By day 22 my dealer came through,  but I felt so good, and so renewed, that I just blew him off.  Keep going mama I promise you won't be sorry.

[kittysRN]

Honestly.  How much longer until I feel better? I know I'll always have to manage the cravings etc. But I want to know how many days I should plan to feel terrible. Thank you for your answers I know you are right.  I have one friend telling me to take some methadone just for a couple days and all will be right. I DO know better than that. I wish I had been able to taper better but I guess that's just not in the cards.

[dedicatedtostop]

Please don't do it! Do you wan to start back over? I don't think you really do? You are so very close to being over the hump. I am at day 6 today and already feel soooo much better! I know you will as well very soon! Remember how you felt on day 1 and 2? You don't want that again do you? I promise you that if you just hang in there in another day you will feel so much better. Everyone here has been through it and we all care. Please get rid of the pills. It's not worth it. Everything your brain is telling you is a lie, it's not true. We all care and wan you to do this and I know you can! Please keep posting, please don't take the pills!

[msdelight]

Hi Kitty welcome aboard.  Yes it would be extremely stupid to go back to 3 a day next week. You will be back to taking ten in no time, running out early and having to cold Turkey again.  Think it through to its conclusion. Tapering is great, but like most of us,  you can't do it. It's too hard! I always ate everything I had no matter what plan I made, and I even wrote down the plan! Cancel that script or connection. Don't listen to the addict brain telling you you can handle it. Cut your sources and run. You have 4 days already and you will begin feeling better very soon.  Don't give up.

[kittysRN]

That is supposed to be mg not me... :/