4 year Ethylphenidate withdrawal

[gemsta73]

Hi all, I started drug use due to being prescribed dihydrocodeine for a bad bad after my 3rd child, that was 8years ago, I was made to stop the painkillers after about a year, and due to the struggle and withdrawals my husband got some herbal highs, with went on to be be a continuous use because of the extra energy and basically get up and go that i got from them. This made life so much easier, now for the last 3-4 years ive has been taking ethylphenidate about 28 out 31 days a month, but on the occasion when i can't get any for those 3 days, i feel totally unable to even function, it is a struggle to sit up. And feel so tired that im barely able to get out of bed, even though i can't sleep on these occassions . Anyway ive just run out again and cant get any for only 1 or 2 days so im really wanting to stop but  dont know how long till i might be able to function properly and feel OK, i know ill have withdrawals but how long theyll last worries me, im also agoraphobic and borderline personality disorder so these make more difficulties dealing with routine change etc, and at the moment i spend most of the time on the bathroom floor, which has also become a habit. I cant stand the way things are and the way i am as i know my lack of being around for my children is having an effect on them, im afraid to see my doctor incase he may involve social services or worse, as i couldnt live with doing that to my children on top of everything else.i just want to be the mother they.once had and not miss anymore.time.of them growing up as ive already missed to much. If someone could please offer some advice as to how long withdrawals can be or lessen the effects i would be so grateful.

[Krissy_123]

Ok I just reread my post and it's sounds a bit harsh. But sometimes that's what we need to hear. I'm an addict and people coddling me did me no good. We need to hear the truth not lies. It's not going to be ok if you keep up this life style. And yes it's only going to get worse. I know how you feel. I lived it. I wanted to just die because I was terrified of quitting I was terrified of the unknown and I was terrified of withdrawls. But even in my drug induced stupor I didn't want to leave my babies behind to be raised by someone else!! I HAD THEM!! They are mine to care for...so that's what I did. I cleaned up and now I'm being the best fking mum I can be!! So don't come back in 6 months and say "well nothing's changed" come back in a few hours and say "I quit,will you people be here for me well I withdrawl" and we will say "YES!! Every step of the way"!!

[Krissy_123]

It's been a year and a half since you first posted,it's time to leave the bathroom and just do it!! Get them couple weeks done and over with.  It's just going to get worse and worse until eventually your kids are grown up and gone! I know I missed 11 years of my daughters life! You say quitting will give you a heart attack!? What do you think this drug is doing to your body? W/D suckks, but it does end. And then you can work on getting your life back. There's only one way this drug use is going to end,and it won't be a happily ever after. I came off of one the strongest opioids after 11 years and thought I'd never be able to do it. You can do this....you just really have to want too. Cut your sources for the drug look into an aftercare program and do it for you and do it for your kids!!

[gemsta73]

Just thought I'd update, unfortunately I'm still in the same boat, and fear big time now that if I stop, it'll be too much for my body to cope with, I keep thinking I'll probably have a heart attack or something just as fatal. I just wish I could just sleep for a week or2 to avoid all the big withdrawals, as I could probably cope with the psychological, the physical withdrawals are the thing I fear more than anything, more than anyone can imagine. I am having a few physical medical problems now because of using the ethylphenidate and because of the way I have to take it. I have become very suspicious and paranoid, mostly of my husband and thinking he up to stuff, especially when his answers don't add up or are very strange, because of him I've lost all confidence I ever had now, and though he says he bothered and will pay more attention etc, well put it this way I've had the same discussion with him I've lack of interest etc on about 6 occasions now over about 2-3 years and things are exactly the same. We used to be so close, I thought nobody in the world could ever be as close as us, and now I've lost so much trust in him and he just doesn't seem the same with me as he used to be, and I'm always coming across Internet activity by him which he always says isn't him and makes strange excuses. I basically just feel no good anymore.
And I've wasted my children's upbringing by not being the mother I've wanted to be, now they're getting older, and will notice things and what's going on thigh I do think it's strange that they never question our lengthy time in the bathroom or the case with the eph in it as I'm sure they must have seen it as my husbands left it open on many occasions, which worrys me sick. Anyway thanks again and any suggestions are very welcome.

[gemsta73]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words, unfortunately I'm still in the same boat, kids getting older and barely seeing me because I find it tough to break my routine of being stuck in the bathroom, even when I do go downstairs to the kids my husbands shouting me backup to see him. In the bathroom again. I feel so gutted for doing this to my children's life and am so fearful of having to withdraw from the ethylphenidate, if I could stop without any side effects I could probably do it easily but from past experience, the side effects are so traumatic, it makes me so weak I can barely move to even go to the toilet and this in the past has lasted weeks, I just don't know if I can even do that to my kids or how would I, as I become so unable to even look after myself, I know in the long term it's the best thing and would solve more issues than you could even imagine, but in the short term I haven't got anyone able to look after my children whilst I did this. My husband keeps telling me how ad it'll be if I tell anyone so he kind if puts fear into me there, otherwise I may have already told my mother but don't because of him + my mother and husband don't get on so she barely ever comes now only on their birthday, I'm also afraid of telling her as well because of how. She'll feel about me, I know she'll hate me, so I'm at such a lose end. I've been referred to the local mental health tea and will be seeing the psychiatric nurse tomorrows I know that last time I was in the mental health I almost gave in and told the but it stopped before i did.
Anyway just want to say thanks

[molly242]

I read what you are going through with a lot of interest,cos I am a bit like yourself.I never thought I would get addicted,but I admit I have,and it gets worse and worse.
I understand that going to the Doctors is a big step,try not to mention the EPH, I just don't think it is ever a good idea to have stuff like that on record,even if it is never used against you,its there for all the medics to see....and judge.Like they could ever understand.
Do you think you could handle taper withdrawal?The drugs are still there and you need tremendous will power not to over-indulge.I do think the 'cold turkey' method is a better approach with this particular drug because of the fiendish nature it calls you back for more.There are at least no physical symptoms like shaking/vomiting etc,nothing that,to others,a bad case of flu
can explain things if needed.
There are lots of vitamins that are supposed to ease the mental problems that come with stopping,try looking up vitamins B complex,B6 and C,magnesium,5-HTP and glutamine and see if any suit.I think anything that helps you nod off,or have proper sleep is worth a try,but research first,don't take anything you are unsure of.These you CAN ask the Dr about,explaining that you are feeling extra low.
Your frame of mind is obviously delicate,the experience will be not the easiest time of life,but you will look back and survive.
Us Mums just somehow manage it.
I really hope you are doing OK,maybe you have not posted cos you are just way too tired/lethargic/busy/hiding under the duvet, so to speak,so I hope you at least read this,and are in an OK place.
Just think how great you will feel,in the long run,to be able to say 'I did control myself,wow,I AM in control' and the money,lack of worry about your next delivery,getting it found by someone etc.The stress of that alone must be pretty bad,it is for me.
Just take it in little baby steps.One tiny thing at a time.Break big jobs into smaller tasks.So what if it takes longer,you are doing it!
Lastly,WHEN you get off this stuff,never go anywhere near it or anything like it again.Don't do what I did and say you can control it,you wont.All substances like this have a very strong and stubborn hold on people like us.
Good luck,stop feeling guilty,just do your baby steps,and try and think in a positive way (I know,I know,but remember,if you think things are bad now,what will they be like this time next year if you carry on feeling so bad about what you are doing)Don't compare yourself to other mums,their lives are different to yours in many ways,good or bad.
All the best,post when you can,a couple of words is fine if you are not in a typing mood,we all have days like that!

[BenRosenblatt]

If you love your kids it doesn't matter.

You have a 4 year dependency, not 4 year withdrawal. Stimulants do not have acute withdrawals like opiods and alcohol/benzos (gabagerics) in the same sense of the word.

There is no physical pain, merely psychological longing and fatigue and depression. For stimulants this is generally a far shorter time (a matter of days) IE the crash and fatigue and depression (days) so stop for a good week before you consider my next advice and see how you feel. The psychological cravings will continue, this is true of anything that can be addictive, particularly powerful because dopamine is the brains positive reinforcer.

There is an antidepressant with the EXACT same pharmacological method of action as ethylphenidate - bupropion is it's generic name, or wellbutrin/zyban. As far as antidepressants go it has a very atypical mode of action very similar to psychostimulants. It would certainly help you with fatigue and depression. The fatigue is from down-regulation of acetylcholine and depression from the same effect with dopamine receptors.

Your doctor will not do anything about your kids if you're a responsible adult (not living in the hood with multiple convictions and so on). There is a huge difference between being an addict, and reaching the point where you endanger your children.

Honestly I would ask for wellbutrin without mentioning the ethylphenidate, or if you must say that you had been taking methylphenidate daily that a friend gave you for a week or two. If prescribed wellbutrin ONLY TAKE IF YOU HAVE DISCONTINUE USE OF PSYCHOSTIMULANTS COMPLETELY.

Combining dopamine/norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitors (DNRI as opposed to SSRI) is not a great idea.