4th of July - Pull that trigger!

[kyle505]

So, I find myself facing a major trigger tomorrow - the annual 4th of July gathering at a friend's house. A major trigger because for the last 15 years, without fail, I was on something - vics, norco, codeine - something. So, this will be the first time that I'll be attending without "my pills".
I write about putting up roadblocks, making sure all sources are cut or difficult to get to. So...I know that the family I'm going to visit often has meds around, like some normal people do. Because of that, I told my wife that she has to make sure no meds are available, i.e., med cabinets, kitchen cabs, etc. She was shocked - even though she was with me and supported me during my detox 6 months ago, she couldn't believe that I'd still be tempted, or that I'd take pills that weren't mine. She's not an addict - no wonder. Anyway, after a lot of embarrassing discussion and confession on my part, we got it worked out. Now, I can't say for sure that I'd seek out meds and use if I found some tomorrow, but I've accepted the hold they have on me, so I'm being careful.
I will be independent from meds tomorrow (couldn't resist). An early happy 4th to all of you. Stay clean.

[dominosarah]

Dear 10356, yes i said 10356!  YOU are not abusing these pain meds.  You are taking them for a medical reason.  YOU tried every other alternative to control your pain.  YOU were not having any quality living for quite some time due to your pain issues.  YOU are being responsible with them as your hubby is giving them to you.  YOU have every right to claim your clean time.  YOU have every right to continue supporting people on this forum.  YOU just got yelled at by me~~sara

[kyle505]

Never too late...Congrats. I think a lot of us made it through OK. Now on to the next 4th!

[kellkell2184]

I know I am a little late to this comment but I just wanted to say that I to was sober for the 4th of July. Congrats on staying strong and keeping our sobriety!

[10356]

Thank you Your words mean a lot to me as this has been playing on my mind.. I have not supported as much as I feel I'm no longer in the position to give advice. It is a difficult situation for me as it is something I need to walk but my heart says otherwise. I know I could not do this on my own and em Grateful to all of you for I do get a lot of strength and encouragement thru all of your all post so yes Thank you..  I just told my hubby I put it out here and started to cry He said I know it must be hard for you for he knows how bad I wanted this.. It is very difficult when your heart says one thing and your head says another.. hubby just said I'm doing good oh Boy how to make a girl cry..

[kyle505]

But you are not abusing. I have a friend who's been on some sort of pain meds for over 10 years (a youngish guy who's spine is shot). He's one of those weird people who can take 1/2, or 1 pill WHEN HE NEEDS IT!  I can't imagine, but he's not an addict, so there you go. So, I have to admire you for having the wherewithall to get help in controlling the meds.

[10356]

Thank you Kyle I made it and I read where you did also !! It seems that we all did :) my Niece did bring hubby some wild turkey Yes hubby drinks and we have booze in the house I can say it has been difficult at times but I have resigned myself to the fact of my addictions are not my husbands.. I agree about cutting off supply but we do not live in a cocoon unfortunately.. Oct 3 would have been 4 years for me but I have been taking 2 norco a day now for a lil over a month I think.. they are doled out to me by my husband and authorized by my Dr. who knows of my history all the way back to my junkie days.. I needed help to walk anymore as my foot was becoming too much so I have not posted on clean time as mine is tarnished. but I can cheer you on and I do.. You are doing fantastic !! and Yes the Grateful Dead rocks !! :)) lesa