5 Year Pain Pill Addiction Now Has Me Scared for My Life...

[CarlWayne1975]

As of August 2010 it has been a year since I have been trying to quit taking Vicodin, Percocet, or whichever I can get my hands on fast & cheap.  Percocet is my choice for best relief, but it all started with Vicodin about 5 years ago.

I will save the great details for the forums.  All I wanted to ask was if you guys think I need another solution for becoming clean & human again.  It seems in the last year, each time I try to quit I only get deeper into it.  It's almost as if the fear of not taking them anymore is trumping everything else and making me take more.  I clearly have low self-control.

I have been to 2 doctors and....I don't know...it's been the same all my life.  Doctors look at me funny.  Maybe I am too honest?  Maybe I talk too much?  It's almost as if they don't believe I have an addiction.  My one doctor prescribes me Clonidine.  That's fine, except I am supposed to take 1 tablet 3 times a day.  Well, that does not work.  I have to take 2 at a time to stop the "nerve-pulling" (as I call it).  And I have to take 2 tablets like 4 times a day!  So he wants me to take 3 a day, and I can only handle life when I take 8 a day!  Then he refuses to refill until the end of 30 days!  Why?  So, the cycle begins again.  I immediately start taking again.  I have a fast-paced, high-stress job.  I have to be on the move and alert.  When I withdrawal, I am exactly the opposite.  I shake, I can barely get up from a seat without giving it all I got (which is not much!)  I am depressed.  Some mornings suicide has crossed my mind (but I am not that gone yet.)  I get real moody at work.

Is there anything I can say to my Doctor to make him understand the severity of this?  Maybe Clonidine works, but just not for me?  Is it safe to take 8 Clonidine a day?  Is there something else I can suggest to him to prescribe me to help with the WDs?  A couple of weeks ago a "friend" let me have about 16 Gabapentin to try.  That was awesome!!  I took 4 a day, and I did not once even think about Percocet (well, for at least 2 days).  Plus, I felt better than any pain pill ever did.  I was energetic, friendly...almost flirty! LOL  But 4 days was not enough, I guess.  I went right back to Percs.  Do you think my Doc would prescribe Gabapentin to me for withdrawal reasons?

Oh, as for what I would normally take.  I usually get 10mg Oxycodone Hydrochloride/650mg Acetaminophen.  Now, how many I take a day would depend on how much money I had to blow on them.  And normally, I would get "advanced" pills and pay off a person (like a bad debt, which adds to the stress of it all.) "Here, take 20, I know you'll pay me back..."  Anyways, if I had my way I would take probably 6 or 7 of those everyday.  Then people at work will say, "Gee, Carl, you are really in a good mood!"  But normally I have to ration them and can get by on 2 1/2 a day.

So, now that I have typed all this, I am not sure what my question is!

Thanks, though.  Just typing it felt good.

[burntoutindette]

i am on my 5th day now of my weaning . I went to my DR & told her no more she was giving me 360 percs a month for the last year & I am totally hooked . I told her I went on here & got scared & my mind races & I do not like the addictive state I am in . So she started me on a weaning program where I am down to 3 a day now starting today . I feel pretty good I am pretty lucky though to be not working right now & only going to school part time . I will keep my progress updated & actually woke up this morning & never had to take one for @ least 2 hours after I got up .

[Ballgame]

Clonidine worked for me too.  

Why would someone take suboxone instead of tapering or cold turkey?  Cause you still have to come off sub at some point

[isitreallyanewbeginning]

Have you tried Suboxone? Iam in my third wk and it works great!

[PromisedLand]

DO NOT TAKE MORE CLONODINE THAN WHAT IS PRESCRIBED.  IT CAN SERIOUSLY LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TO THE POINT YOU PASS OUT OR WORSE.

Ballgame has it right..you need a new Doctor.   See if you can take a week off of work or call out sick with a bad case of the flu for several days and there is a recipe on here for different things you can take that can help the symptoms of withdrawal and a brain cramp has erased it's name from my memory..

Clondine helps some people and some it doesn't...it helped me tremendously...with the first pill I took my second day of withdrawl at least many of the horrible symptoms were gone..and by day 4 I felt much better.  


Jim

[Ballgame]

You need a new dr.