62 hours

[Mcr2001]

It has been 62 hours now....I actually slept for 10 hours with the help of 2 mg prescribed Xanax.  Today is the first day I actually feel better.  No upset stomach (though I haven't eaten yet) and fatigue is a bit better.  Still feel like I could go lay in bed but forcing myself to stay moving.  Thank you all for your thoughts prayers and stories.  I will never let this happen to me again, I am slowly starting to feel like me again though I am sure I have some rough spots to come yet.

[Tryin2BClean]

That means a lot.  Ty so much.  Good luck and keep us informed on how ur doing.

[Mcr2001]

I understand what u r saying friends and family are usually there until u need them.  I have to. E at work at 7 but insomnia hit so here I sit....if you have to go through hell alone that's what u do...believe me I did it but I feel for you.  I don't know you, we've never met but I will keep checking this post and I WILL be here for u

[Tryin2BClean]

You seem to b doing great.  Its difficult to tell but ur post cane across as calm rather than anxious.  That's fantastic.   I wish u the best with nvr letting the pills control u again.  Ur 100% correct that they control us.  Etc on saying no to the percs ; idk if I cld have.  Wen ur not sick its easy to convince urself that u would not accept them, in fact many times I've told hubby I won't ask him to front me any roxy's only to be asking him around the 36th hr.  Sounds to me like ur gonna succeed.  So happy for u.  I can't wait until I can get all this poison out.  As soon as school is out and I don't have to drop.off and pick up, then I can be sick and not have to worry abt that. Idk if ur interested in NA or not but i reached out to them already.  I won't go until I'm cleaned out tho.  As u know being alone makes it harder.  I'm not sure if ur wife does this but hubby alternates between excessive yelling and excessive lecturing every single time I'm sick and now hecacts like he doesn't want me to b better.  He said "u kno its gonna b five years until u stop craving pills"  that's a hell of a thing to say; make me feel hopeless.  Today he said my brother-in-law, a pharmacist told him "how can she do this to him knowing yes bipolar?  Any other manic-depressive wld have already shot her in the face"  can u imagine saying that to the mother of ur kids?  Wat I'm "doing" to him....well, our sex life takes a hit wen I'm sick, he fronts me pills, and he buys them if needed.  I don't like asking him to buy but we live on a small island and hes threatened everyone we know that sells them to stay away Frm me. So if it comes down to that he has to do it. Omg I ranted again.  Apologies.   Wen u told me I'm jot alone I felt so much better.  My parents died a year apart in 09-10, my siblings don't talk to me (too long a story)  mama's family is awful.  I have noone.l nut hubby band kids, and u c wat hes like.  I'm extremely lonely so if someone empathizes with me I get carried away.  I feel bad for hijacking ur post.  If u need anything that i can help.with ill b here for ya.  I know exactly wat u'd going thru.  Take care.

[Mcr2001]

Thank you everyone.  I know my brain will try to trick me again but Trying2BClean remember there are many on here in your situation.  I just joined this page last night because i literally thought I would die.  My daughter doesn't know and my wife wont help because it's my own fault so I know about being alone in it.  I am not ashamed to say at times I cried...but I wouldn't give in even when my "friend" offerered my some free percs....so u r never alone.  We are all one.  I will never let pills control me again and i will check back to see how everyone else is doing as well as give updates.  

[Tryin2BClean]

I'm new here and came across ur post.  Congratulations!  I imagine the worst is probably over.  Just a thought...  if u ever are tempted again,  try to remember the hell uve been through and maybe you will get through that moment.  I've been through withdrawals many times and for some reason I still wind up in it again.  I think my problem is that I have noone, not even one person who can help me through those moments.  I decided to reach out to NA and I've joined this site.  I'm jot trying to make this about me, what I guess I'm saying is that you will need someone to talk u through those moments of temptation who is 100% non judgmental.  In fact, I know that we don't know each other but if i can evervhelp u through any rough spots please feel free to msg me anytime.  Now that uve slept u should start feeling better.  Best of luck to u and congratulations on making it over the "hump."

[smiles4eva]

Congrats on the 62 hours!  Yes keep moving it definitely helps!