Aa
7 days and 16 hours!
One week down. Physical symptoms are much better. I slept well again last night. I am feeling fantastic. Pill free and loving life. I am convinced that I will not relapse. I truly have no desire. I am just so ready to move on. I no longer have a valid prescription and have no way of getting pills. I'm done. I know I will still get cravings, but they are manageable for me. I am here to say that stopping isn't easy, but it can be done!!
Thank you for your honesty Junip. You know your stuff! I should be more clear about my situation. My husband and only him knows about this. I am actually terrified about going to a meeting only due to occupation:( I am teetering on the risk vs benefit.
It sounds like you are doing incredible tonight girl!! I am so proud my heart is bursting. Keep posting advice because you know how to get through this.
Tramuser -you are so so right about the access. I am actually in a place where I have zero thank goodness. I am definitely going to gym tom. You have some willpower! I heard the trams are tough emotionally due to chemical receptors targeted. And there are still dispensed like candy!!
It sounds like you are doing incredible tonight girl!! I am so proud my heart is bursting. Keep posting advice because you know how to get through this.
Tramuser -you are so so right about the access. I am actually in a place where I have zero thank goodness. I am definitely going to gym tom. You have some willpower! I heard the trams are tough emotionally due to chemical receptors targeted. And there are still dispensed like candy!!
Not having access is crucial to staying clean, I don't think any addict can stay clean while knowing they can still get pills.
The problem I always faced after going a few weeks clean is the boredom phase/low mood. Its a good time to workout if you don't already. I went through a period where I started drinking wine and it turned into an every night thing until I forced myself to stop. We are so used to occupying our time with a substance and its hard to stop. I actually wait to go to the gym a bit later in the evening just so it kills that time when the cravings are the worst. I do take a pre-workout drink which gives me a caffeinated high but I figure it could be worse and it gets me into the gym.
The problem I always faced after going a few weeks clean is the boredom phase/low mood. Its a good time to workout if you don't already. I went through a period where I started drinking wine and it turned into an every night thing until I forced myself to stop. We are so used to occupying our time with a substance and its hard to stop. I actually wait to go to the gym a bit later in the evening just so it kills that time when the cravings are the worst. I do take a pre-workout drink which gives me a caffeinated high but I figure it could be worse and it gets me into the gym.
Hi Rock Stars!
Just wanted to tell you guys that I COMPLETELY understand your concerns about telling your spouses/partners about your addictions. I felt exactly the same, especially because I was stealing my husband meds (he has serious legit pain), he takes his medication very conservatively (hence my neverending supply) and because his mom and sisters abuse narcotics (hereditary condition) and he looks at his sister with disgust. So, let's just say that telling him was not something I ever wanted to do. After trying to quit so many times and failing, I realized that I needed to tell him if I wanted any chance of beating my addiction. For one, I needed him to lock up his pills. And for another thing, as great as this forum is and even though there is tremendous support here, I personally feel that you need your partners support and you need someone close to you to hold you accountable. I was sick to my stomch whenever I thought about telling him. Finally, I wrote a five page letter and was going to give it to him. I ended up breaking down and telling him with the note in my hand. While he certainly wasn't jumping for joy at my revelation, he was supportive and more upset that Il had not told him sooner. It hurt his feelings that I did not have enough faith in him to tell him. He felt bad that I had been suffering on my own. Do not get me wrong; he was still upset and didn't know how or why I got to that point and he still doesn't understand addiction as much as i would like, but he does realize that I have an illness and as long as i am trying, he is in my corner.!it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I think it has even made as strong as a couple. And he will be rooting me on through detox. I really encourage you to share with your partner. For me, keeping secrets makes it more difficult and I would want him to come to me if roles were reversed.
That being said, if you truly cannot tell, you can still go to meeting. Think of somewhere else you can say you are going. No one will know you are going unless you want them to. Just my two cents :-)
Just wanted to tell you guys that I COMPLETELY understand your concerns about telling your spouses/partners about your addictions. I felt exactly the same, especially because I was stealing my husband meds (he has serious legit pain), he takes his medication very conservatively (hence my neverending supply) and because his mom and sisters abuse narcotics (hereditary condition) and he looks at his sister with disgust. So, let's just say that telling him was not something I ever wanted to do. After trying to quit so many times and failing, I realized that I needed to tell him if I wanted any chance of beating my addiction. For one, I needed him to lock up his pills. And for another thing, as great as this forum is and even though there is tremendous support here, I personally feel that you need your partners support and you need someone close to you to hold you accountable. I was sick to my stomch whenever I thought about telling him. Finally, I wrote a five page letter and was going to give it to him. I ended up breaking down and telling him with the note in my hand. While he certainly wasn't jumping for joy at my revelation, he was supportive and more upset that Il had not told him sooner. It hurt his feelings that I did not have enough faith in him to tell him. He felt bad that I had been suffering on my own. Do not get me wrong; he was still upset and didn't know how or why I got to that point and he still doesn't understand addiction as much as i would like, but he does realize that I have an illness and as long as i am trying, he is in my corner.!it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I think it has even made as strong as a couple. And he will be rooting me on through detox. I really encourage you to share with your partner. For me, keeping secrets makes it more difficult and I would want him to come to me if roles were reversed.
That being said, if you truly cannot tell, you can still go to meeting. Think of somewhere else you can say you are going. No one will know you are going unless you want them to. Just my two cents :-)
Man I am proud and impressed!! Ya'll in TN know how to do it right!! Just think you are almost a week out!!!!!! We have come so far.
Yes I mentioned in another post I am probably just hangry and need a snickers lol. I am sure that is what the problem is:)) I am going to wake up super early tom and go join a gym hopefully.
Yes I mentioned in another post I am probably just hangry and need a snickers lol. I am sure that is what the problem is:)) I am going to wake up super early tom and go join a gym hopefully.
Seriously, Day 5 was much better than 4. Still craving, some fatigue, and small headache. much much better than I expected. I think it is normal to have afternoon lull, but larger breakfast or lunch as well as snack may help. I was leaving work at 2 and felt kind of down and stopped by gym and did treadmill for 45 minutes. Energy level went way up.
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