Hi, I know this post is a cpl yrs d,and hopefully you are doing great now. But I wanted to say that I am also tapering off methadone but VERY slowly. When I first got on it(to get off oxycodone30s,oxycontin 40,valium and heroin)I was stable at120 mg of methadone. Its 3yrs later and I have majorly turned my life around.I am also down to70 mgs and have a lot of help from my counsler(but no other support system) although it has been a very slow process, I am luck to have not had any withdrawal symptoms from it yet. I was recently scripted soma for a spinal injury and muscle spasms and busbpar for anxiety. I am also on Lyrica 100mg twice a day it is not a narcotic or Benzo, but helps me TREMENDOUSLY with that spine twinging pain that it you have explained. I am beginning to taper more quickly now and I know these meds have been helping me feel free of withdrawals. I know you are most likely past all this but if you still have the spine zaps- definitely look into lyrica. Good luck and God bless. Hope u made it thru everything! :)
THANK YOU. WOW. I'm so happy someone understands. I've ditched the Xanax and have felt no issues from that today. I still haven't had any rest and I think I'm about to pass out from pure exhaustion soon. At that point, I will take the other half of the oxy. I almost feel like I'm still pushing too hard because I was at 3x as much oxy yesterday.
The doctor told me about this method of tapering every 3 days. He told me to follow it very strictly and it will allow my brain and body to cope much easier. I'm now off methadone for about a week but I know it can last in my system for even a month! Even though I have no relief (just WDs) from it... It will continuously come back to bite you the whole time it's there.
I NEVER had an issue stopping my opiate pills in the past. I just got stupid toward the end (before the ER scare) because of my own mental issues. And before that, I always took them as prescribed. I feel better with each day that passes even though I'm going through WDs. And I feel like my body has healed so much over all these years from the traumas I suffered.
I'm sticking to the healthy diet, vitamins, and taper method. I'm not trying to get high. It scared the shhhh outta me yesterday when I felt that effect.
Thanks for the support. I feel so good about myself.
Hi! I'm a huge proponent of tapering meds. I always have been. It's a much more comfortable way to detox. The only problem is it's really hard for most. You, however, are capable of doing it successfully,as you've already demonstrated,so go right ahead and continue.
When you taper a med you cut a small amount every so many days and never go back up on the daily dose. That's one of the secrets. When you get down to taking a small amount you just jump from there.
I think you've done an amazing job of this so far! Coming off that huge amount of methadone so quickly is not easy and it can really do a number on your body. So you're still going to be reeling from THAT for a while. All the more reason to taper down with some other short acting opiates. It's more gentle and tolerable so not so shocking. You've been through enough and I'm one who just doesn't believe in suffering during the process....plus, there's so many systems in your body that need to get acclimated AND heal.
Try not to be in a rush anymore, okay? You need to adjust and go slowly with your meds. Soon enough you'll be free from everything and on to a better life!
Thanks. That was very helpful. I've been desperately trying to do this as fast as I can. But I took a long hard look at myself today. I realize that something like this takes time. It's been hell for 18 days now and that's not even being clean. But I am damn proud of myself for getting to such low doses of opiates. I caved and took a half oxy today. Even with being up for 2 days straight and the hardcore anxiety attack I had all night plus all the pain I have head to toe. And I'm fkn proud of that. That damn methadone is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I know it's still in my system... Torturing me.
Maybe I need to continue to do this on my own. Because no matter what anyone else says. I DO want this. I want my freedom back. And I believe in the science behind the tapering. Allowing my body to stablize a little at a time. The muscle relaxer I got is REALLY strong. I'm not going to take it until I'm in full withdrawal. And again, 100% non addictive and will actually help the pre-existing trauma to my body. The doc really laid it out for me today.
I found something to live for. And that's what I'm focusing on.
Thank you for all of your help.
I am coming off of opiates methadone and benzos. It is not easy, but with support and some tools we can get through this. The no sleep,anxiety all the things that you are feeling ,many of us have felt and still feel.It does seem like it is taking forever and will never be fine. Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Once all drugs are out of your system you will begin to get windows of clarity and feeling normal. These windows will increase over time. You may also get waves of anxiety or other mental imbalance. Keep busy. It takes time to heal. I go to NA meetings. Seeing and being with people who have SURRVIVED withdrawals is very helpful and gives me hope. They share their experience, strength and hope. You will begin to see a light at the end of this awful tunnel. Every day you dont use is a day that you are healing. When I feel awful I know it's just my body trying to reconnect the neurotransmitters that were damaged by drug use. The brain has amazing potential to heal. I too was prescribed all the horrible MEDS trusting that my doctors knew what they were doing. They did not and now I have to go through this. There is no way to get around it. Taking one pill to replace another only prolongs the agony and makes it harder. There are some herbs that may help anxiety and sleep such as valerian root, GABA, melatonin. Lavender, lemon balm. Several teas have camomile and other sleep or relaxing herbs. Go to a Heath food store and ask what can help with your symtoms. Recovery is a process that takes patience. Being with and talking to others who have been there helps. Listen to their experience and what has helped them. You can find guidance in an NA meeting ,on this site many different places. Use what works and leave the rest. You are not alone or crazy. This is hard but can be done. We do recover.
Never shunned.....always will be willing to help. The issue is your talking to a bunch of people here that just bit the big one, and went cold turkey. Tapering is good, if u can do it, but most addicts have trouble with this. This is why we just jump, your pro-longing whats going to have to happen!
Methadone is a beast! And yes, you tapered that **** really fast....drink, drink, drink, take those vitamins, amino acids and proteins, and rest. You have to give your body time to heal and reset....i guess the main point being, these repairs will start once u stop putting this crap in your body. Same with all of us.
Keep posting...we are on here off and on all day and we will totally walk you through this! This is something u can totally do! Not easy, but can be done.
Greetings! :)
First: You-Are-Not-Shunned-Here!
We embrace & support you & your desire to be clean. Because of that, we want to give you the best advice possible & the benefit of our combined experience. Many people here have tapered & are clean as a result but there are certain things that determine the success or failure of a kick which I'll go into below.
No!: No one is or was saying that shorter-acting opiates like Oxys & Hydros are as bad as M'done. I think what some of us might have been trying to convey was that yo-yo'ing during a taper in order to address certain symptoms is not effective. Also, there's a real concern with this that you will simply return to your original DOC's (particularly with your anxiety level).
Are you under a Dr.'s care right now? I'm asking for a couple of reasons: The PTSD/fear/anxiety, your mentions of suicide & not having any family or support around you. A good Dr. could listen to your fears, monitor your symptoms & taper you effectively. I think it might offer you some relief to be able to do this 'locally'.
Generally, for a taper to work, the person has to cut all their sources to the drug. They also have someone else dole them out to them. Some form of aftercare is essential because it's not really about getting clean but staying clean. That's the True challenge.
I'm glad you feel like you're on a mission! Let's plan it out wisely so that this is as emotionally easy on you as possible.
What think, ye'? :)
Hi honey: It's hard to know what to respond to...you've had a lot of great folks come on here and give you very, very good advice.
I would like to make one comment though...I notice you put yourself down quite a bit. Calling yourself "retarded" and "craphead" and such. That has to stop, sweetie. You're not any of those things. We don't know your full health history, but you are obviously dealing with some issues. I too, had swine flu, and it was terrible. And I also have PTSD. The latter complicates any recovery....opiates not only take away physical pain, they smooth out the rough mental edges too.
Is there a doctor you can see who you could tell your entire story too? You've got a LOT going on, and its impossible for us to give you the exact answers as to how to get through this without some very nasty days.
Vitamins can certainly help, but no vitamin regimen in the world is going to stop the usual subjects: stomach cramping, possibly vomiting, diarrhea, leg aches, bones aches, insomnia, anxiety (very bad at times) the sweats, and just feeling like crap in general.
As long as you are putting opiates In your body, you are not in full withdrawal, and that is where you need to be in order to start on the path to a full recovery. And its gonna suck. I had boatload of muscle relaxants during my w/d's and they did absolutely nothing for me. I don't know which one you are going to get: there is one type...I believe it goes by the name of Flexeril, that is potentially addictive.
I think the advice about putting yourself into a rehab facility is an excellent one. You have a lot going on, and I think you would benefit greatly from the regular monitoring you would receive there.
Please don't take this the wrong way, sweetie, but taking opiates to get off methadone doesn't make much sense. They are both opiods. Only difference is that methadone is completely synthetic, no portion of its synthesis comes from poppy plants. I'm told it is a beast to get off of, but then again, I am 55 days clean form JUST oxycodone (no methadone) and I can tell you first hand, this has been no picnic. I felt terrible for the first 2 weeks and didn't begin to have anything even close to normal for 30 days.
Again, I strongly urge you not to try and get clean on your own. Your emotions are all over the place, you're feeling a bunch of different stuff, some of it very negative, and I think you would do MUCH better in a facility. That doesn't reflect on your worth as a person.
These drugs get to everyone who stays on them longer than a few weeks...pls try to be kinder to yourself. You're a good person with a bad problem.
hugs,
-Robin
Good morning.no you will not be shunned for tapering.
Tapering if done properly, preferably under a doctor's care is better for your body and mind, withdrawal symptoms are less severe.
Just to clarify, What are you still taking?
And furthermore.... The reason I came on here asking for help so desperately is because I felt high from taking that last oxy yesterday. Which isn't supposed to happen so I knew I had taken more than I needed. I was freaking out feeling that way. But what the hell DONT I freak out about. FML
I didn't mean to fall off like that last night. I was shaking, heart was pounding out of my chest, felt like I couldn't breathe. Full on anxiety attack.
I went from feeling so proud of myself by doing this taper business to feeling like I was literally going to die from all the meds I was on last night. I stayed awake all night cuz I was terrified of dying in my sleep.
That's the whole reason why I have Xanax in the first place... To go under for surgeries. I don't know if I made it clear that I'm actual diagnosed anxiety/PTSD and all the pain pills I have actually ARE mine (except the sub and threw those away). They're just old. I did abuse them toward the end because of a specific event before I went cold turkey and ended up in the ER. I want you all to know I'm not just throwing my own diagnosis around. I've been freaking myself out with stuff I'm reading online sure but who could blame me. I'm crazy. Got the records to prove it lol. (Again, I try to use humor to help me cope).
I've been reading about how mental this stuff is. I'm terrified of my body ending up "in shock" again from the opiates. The clinic, the withdrawal guide and so many others say to use the taper method. I feel like I need to be friggin committed now and nothing can save me.
Yes, I want to be FREE of all medicine. But I trust the chlonidine will help with the anxiety through this because it lowers your bp and heart rate (which are always through the roof now and I don't have bp issues). Just the stress and pain of all this I guess.
And I must ask, am I shunned because I want to continue to taper over the next few days? Because that's all I have left now is a few days to hit 0. They said to let the vitamins build up in your system and do the taper thing. And now I might want to actually taper the Xanax cuz I'm seriously freaking out about that now. I feel like that's what has been keeping me from putting a bullet in my head. It doesn't make me sleepy whatsoever. In fact, I don't even "feel" an effect from Xanax. All I know is that it got me to all my surgeries without stabbing the doctor in the neck because I think he's going to kill me in my sleep. And then after I woke up alive from the surgery, I stopped taking them even though it was prescribed to take for the entire week or so surrounding the surgery. Thus, having a surplus in the cupboard. I read about all these methods online and they say Xanax helps the process of methadone withdrawal. That's all. And I tapered WAY too fast from the methadone at the clinic but I just wanted that crap out of me ASAP. Methadone scared me more than anything.
So now am I to understand that hydro and oxy are just as bad as methadone? Because when I read about the science behind it, the withdrawal process is supposed to be easier with the short acting opiates. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses. But I really feel like it's working. All I know is that I'm not going back to the damn ER. I've had too many experiences with almost dying and that was one that I was completely conscious for- it was one of the scariest things I've ever experienced because I couldn't control my own body. I thought I was a vegetable for life. Going cold turkey is what put me there. The tapering has been been uncomfortable but I'm not dying. Am I seriously shunned for this??? I'm not trying to jerk y'all around. I can stick to a plan. My emotions had me a little off this week thus straying a little. But now I feel like I have a mission with people counting on me. Cuz I'll be honest, if I can't get support here, then I've got nothing. I don't have family anymore.
Hey! I don't want to confuse you more, but YES just get rid of the opiates!!! In a TAPER one would take less and less but not only is it not necessary, it prolongs wd. I will not hurt you. The ambien is a different story, but as far as your opiates: no mas. Okay?
There is rebound pain from stopping the opiates. There is also a rebound effect from stopping the ambien and xanax.
Your brain chemistry has to repopulate. This will take time.
Exercise will help accomplish this.
Take hot epsom salt baths and magnesium supplements to help with your
Body spasms.
Try otc sleep aids, melatonin, Valerian root, alteril, sleepy time tea.
I believe your initial withdrawal symptoms were so severe because zoloft, opiates and the ambien all produce the same detox symptoms.
There is always someone available. Keep posting for support.
Have you tried cognitive behavior therapy?
Keep the faith.
Sending prayers and encouragement,
Debbie
I don't have a lot of info to offer about methadone or the hydros but I do about oxys and subs...so glad to hear you got rid of those, they are right up there with lucifer himself. I'm on 21 days off of them cold turkey so I can relate to doing the cold turkey route. You will get through this, I didn't think I could. I've been so frustrated and depressed but I've plowed through when I didn't think I had the strength to even take a step. It's a roller coaster, believe me. This is a great place to find support and just chatting with people who can understand you can make a world of difference. We are all here to help in any way we can. Keep posting...
Hi & Welcome.
Time & Patience my Friend. Until you come to the point where you add NO meds to your Brain/Body you will be very unbalanced. I too was on the methadone for around 12 years, but I got it prescribed for pain after I had worked up such a tolerance to the other opiates.
Addiction is a Brain Disease and that is what it does, it unbalances the Chems, Hormones and Transmitter in the Brain and in the long run the Brain will send false singles to the body. It took me a lil over 2 years to find a Mental, Physical and Spiritual Balance. However, I am no spring chic and have drank and used since I was 14 off & on. I also went c/t from 3 different meds that pulled the Brain and Nervous system up and down and all around. The longer we use, the longer it takes for the Brain to Heal..(sort-of-speaking).
The detox part is the easy part..YES it is very uncomfortable, but it is over soon, as long as you quit adding other pharmaceutical meds to the Brain & Body. The work really begins when we want to stay clean & sober and not run to use this or that, for this or that reason. Addicts always think they need a drug or drink to help when Life brings us some curve balls. Learning to live in ones own skin when the shiiit hits the fan is where the hard work is. There are SO many Changes that have to be made..SO many thinking patterns that have to change. This is where we need SUPPORT and any and all the SUPPORT you can get. Try not to over analyze the "WHY" we use..This will only drive you crazy. If it is a deep mental issues on "why" and we have masked it, then it needs to be addressed and talked about..NO more holding things in and please try to stay away from and Drama & Stress why you are working on staying clean..In some cases there is no mental issues, but just the way we grew up or our environment.(like everyone is doing it).. No more old stomping grounds with them old playmates either..This only brings on triggers. It took us Years to become Addicts so it will take a long time to undue this mess that the ME got into. Support is a must, as this is a WE thing not a ME thing. The ME is what got us in trouble. NEVER beat your self up either. If you look this Disease up in a more Scientific way you will find out that sometimes it is beyond "Willpower" and that WE had no control. Knowing more about it in a Scientific way is not going to cure you, but it will help you understand more on what goes on up stairs in the brain that have Millions or Billions of wiring..Now it is time to take back our life and walk down the right path with other Addicts that wear the same shoes as we had on. Well enough for me and I will get down from my soap box. I just know that I have had a really hard struggle the past couple of Years..Now it seems to be coming to some kind of Balance.. Most of my Family on here know I had a very sad and heartache couple of Years, but now I am back and I will SURRENDER this process one more time and be Grateful for what I have "Just for Today"..I do wish you the best and just stick around, as we do come in and out in waves these days..Make sure you are Drinking tons of water and try adding some Lemon to it..Make sure you are eating very healthy as you can get some good vit/min going this way too..DO start a good vit/min program too..But the vit/min do take time to kick in.
YOU will see that the Grass is Greener on the other side of that hill, once you get up and over it..Meanwhile you just need to hang tight to that surf board and ride the waves..Soon you will be walking on the beach as you feel that warm sand between your toes once again..Be Safe, Be Good and Always keep your GUARD UP!!
Bless
Thanks. Oh yea so I'm still confused about something things.
I know not to take the Xanax anymore. I'll only take my ambien if I absolutely need it as opposed to relying on it every night. I've never had any dependency issues with ambien...
So FOR SURE I shouldn't taper to 0 with the opiates like the guide from the vitamins say to do? I HAVE TO jump off where I'm at today? I took 3 pills today. I'm already freaking about not having the most important one (bedtime). Because that's spine clench time.
The guide says to first stop taking the ones throughout the day until you only need the morning and night time one. And then you finally stop your last pill with one pill in the morning and then that's it. You "jump". I've been building the vitamins in my system and eating healthy like it told me to.
Will be keeping an eye on this post as im sure many people will.
You've come to the right place to accomplish getting clean and staying clean. The people on this site have only your best interest and outcomes at heart, so take what they say and use it! I came here Jan 2, 2014 to detox and get clean...its now Nov 19th, and i have 10 months and 19 days free and clear of opiate and sub addiction!
YOU SO CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS!
Okay. Thank you for the reassurance. And again I'm doing this on my phone so scrolling up to direct certain statements to the right people is hard cuz then I end up pushing something I don't mean to and have to start all over. Thank you EVERYONE.
I probably shouldn't have made so many impulsive decisions but being on so much medication for so damn long makes me feel like I'm in a prison. A slave to something I can crush between my fingers. Something so small can control something as powerful and amazing as the human body? F that. Btw, can we cuss on here? I'm a potty mouth. Feels damn good to say cuss words. Especially the F word. SO YEA, F THAT! I've been a lab rat for 14 years cuz they don't care about Fing with even the minds of children. I'm SICK of it.
And yes, I've been through serious pain. But I've never experienced a pain like this spine clench thing before. Maybe it's because of my severe exhaustion that it's making me feel unable to bear the pain. The Rx I'm getting tomorrow helps with nerve and muscle pain. It has great reviews and 100% non-addictive, just like the chlonidine.
I know a lot about the human anatomy. And I know for a fact this isn't something any human being should have to go through. It's unnatural. These damn chemicals shouldn't be in my brain and body man. My body is supposed to be able perform under the most extreme circumstances to ensure survival. And these damn chemicals are making me want to snuff it. It's compete BS. I swear I'll never take another damn pill once I get through this. Humans survived just fine before all this crap came along.
Can you all tell I've desperately needed someone to talk to since forever ago? LOL
Hi there 'nutter',
You're not nuts -- you're normal!
Being humorous when you freak out is excellent. Anything that puts a smile on your face & keeps you coming here.
You're NOT gonna' die or something! (There's an infinitely greater chance of that if you stay on!)
I'll reiterate: The crazy way that you're feeling is due to being in acute w/d. The sooner that you decide to permanently ditch the pills, (& I hear you that you want it to be your last), the sooner you'll be able to get off the crazy ride you're on (in between opiates & no opiates). No need to be strung out -- no need to prolong the agony -- you can do this! You've been through serious physical pain. So, what I'm hearing is that this is predominantly mental (which doesn't make it less daunting, in fact it makes it more so for some!) Just know that this is what is going on here, OK?
Again, you CAN do this :)
I feel like I've confused everyone now, including myself. I've never been so emotional and confused in my life. Crickets...
That clinic SELLS methadone to crapheads like me and call it treatment. Which the same can be said about the pain specialist I saw for years. I'm desperately trying to be free. I just freaked out today because I felt high from the last oxy I took and I have never felt that before. And this means I'm an addict, right? I'm seriously asking. I'm pretty damn sure my body has healed itself by now (as in why I've been on pain pills in the first place)- even though I have aching throughout my whole body which should be because of WDs right?
I can take the cold and stomach flu symptoms. Like I said, I survived the swine flu. I can take the body aches. I've been through SERIOUS pain. It's just that damn spine clench thing that makes me want to literally cut myself open with a knife and rip my spine, nerves and muscles out. Hence, getting a muscle relaxer and taking all that other crap they prescribe for methadone withdrawal symptoms. I've just been using what I've had before I got help from the family doc about it all this. I just didn't tell him I was tapering myself still with other opiates and using Xanax to keep me calm.
I have the chlonidine now and it actually makes me sleepy. I'm just going to start taking that at night time instead of the ambien. He said it would even help with the anxiety so again, don't need the Xanax!
I've been going through hell for the past 17 days and today felt better than ever and I'm pretty much on the lowest dose of opiates since all this started. I just freaked out about feeling high from the last oxy I took 7 hours ago I guess. And yes I'm trying to calm down but I'm scared ima die now or something. Holy hell. Trying to be humorous cuz that's what I do when I freak out. Can't think of anything funny to say with this post. I'm nuts...
But see this is what I'm trying to say. I feel like I don't NEED the hydros and oxys anymore. And that I can finally taper down to 0 because I have access to all the other stuff they say helps makes the WD process easier (vitamins, insanely healthy diet, chlonidine, and now tomorrow, the muscle relaxer).
I took 3 oxycodone 10/325 today 4 hours apart. From 105mg of METHADONE just 37 days ago to 3 oxys today... Doesn't this mean I'm successfully tapering??
Ok I don't know why I can't make things clear. Am I taking crazy pills?!? (That's funny damnit).
I was on 5mg of hydro once daily during the last 10 days of my methadone taper. Day 1 off methadone I had to take 4 hydro 10s. I only take them when I feel like snuffing it. Didn't start anything else until I was completely off methadone.
I have a prescription coming for a muscle relaxer tomorrow to help with the spine clench thing. I am shaking in fear from taking anything else. The last dose of an opiate pill I've had (one oxyxodone 10/325) was around 7 hours ago. I took the Xanax about 10 hours ago. I haven't had anything else since. I'm still going to take the night time vitamins as the withdrawal guide says to do and have been doing for the past 5 days. I'm too scared to take my ambien now. Been on ambien on and off for years because trazadone makes me sluggish. That's what they always try to prescribe PTSD patients but it makes me feel like I'm walking through mud all day. So they keep me on ambien for sleep cuz it does the trick for me (at least until I started going through WDs).