90 days today....but a big question...need opinions

[paying_it_forward]

I haven't posted in aaages....I haven't needed to. Today makes 90 days...three months exactly of no suboxone, for a 2 year painkiller addiction...i haven't touched an opiate based painkiller since late 2009.

I have no cravings for painkillers whatsoever....but I'm having massive knee problems again...I'm talking major pain. I've tried panadol and an anti-inflammatory but nothing seems to ease the pain. I have had 2 previous knee operations...and half way through last year i slipped over in a shopping centre and cracked my knee cap. (still going with legal proceedings...ugh)

(and for the new people to the forum who may not know me....I'm currently studying Certificate 4 in Alcohol and other drugs...after my experience i want to help other people)

I went to the doctors the other week and showed her the abnormal swelling that wasn't there before the fall and she poked and prodded and said it seemed alright. Tomorrow I'm going back but seeing another doctor....

The problem i face is i don't know what to do mean time (if a treatment is going to take time etc)...should i RESPONSIBLY take the painkillers i was once addicted to (which is codine combined with an anti-inflammatory...the best thing for it)? I can't put up with the pain any longer.

When i was addicted to these painkillers my head/mind was in a different state....severely depressed...so many stressful things etc but now that is not really the case. I would be taking these painkillers for legitimate pain....bad pain...

I really don't want to tarnish my perfect record of being painkiller free...but then again I'm only 24 (25 next week :P) is it really expected that i am to never touch a painkiller again? Painkillers have their place in this world...i guess it's really just upto us to take it responsibly. I would reallyyy appreciate people's opinions on this particular question :)

Hope your all doing well!

[dominosarah]

How long is the course you are taking?  Your going to be a drug counselor right?

[paying_it_forward]

Hey Gnarly thanks for your offer :) I'll see what kind of assignments i get when further into the course and for sure if i need some examples i shall inbox you :)

Perch...ah i know i should be doing some aftercare...When i think about going to NA meetings i stop and think since i have no cravings or urges to take my drug of choice then do i really need to go?

I dunno...I'm just going to see what eventuates with the ADHD specialist appointment on thursday. No doubt i'll post a journal entry about what the outcome is so keep your eyes peeled :P

[perch101]

p.s - You need to change the last sentence of your "mood" !!

This is not true - Put something positive in there, like you deserve :-)

Perch   x

[perch101]

Hey, you sound better today, that is good :-)

Remember, when it gets tough - aftercare!! Where you said in your post " it's no wonder I'm a little "crazy" ....I've done all of this...everything...the addiction..depression and anxiety and i am yet to see a counselor or therapist...I've done it all on my own. " I realised how true this is....

It is wonderful you have 90 days.... but it dosn't have to be this hard!! It really does help to speak to an AOD counsellor or join a support group.

Also - when you have finished your course and are looking for employment - where you are employed will want to know how long you've been clean and what aftercare you do. Some of my closest friends are AOD counsellors and they've told me about it. The AOD workers at the Basin that were ex-addicts themselves would tell us about the aa/na they attended and how it helped or what they did for aftercare.

Anyway - you sound better today, good on you and good luck!

Perch :-)

[gnarly_1]

HEY I see your studying for your class 4 in drugs ans alcohol....if you want you can use me as your  first term paper ive been addicted to one thing or another since I was 14...im 48 now
spent 10yrs on pills 6 1/2 on methadone when the pills quit working...im also living proff you can get off all of it if you put your mind to it and use proper aftercare so if you need a trm paper message me and I hope you help many that struggle with addiction I know I would be lost without my conslor good luck on your career ......Gnarly

[paying_it_forward]

Thanks Gnarly, the 90 days has been easy...well in the sense that i haven't had the craving or felt the need to go back to painkillers.

Yeah I do use ice on my knee...and a heat bag too. Unfortunately i have had trouble with my knee my whole life (2 operations...one at 17 and the other at 19...and i'm 25 next week) so it's going to be a thing for life...

I was watching an interesting 2 part documentary a couple of weeks ago called "Raw Opium" it was about the history of  the Opium poppy etc...and they had a lady on there saying that some people have receptors in the brain that react to opiates and some people don't. There was one rather shocking bit of footage set in an injecting clinic called "insite" (it's in Canada) and a lady was shooting up heroin into her NECK....then proceeded to say "i hope my mothers watching this"...my mouth dropped to the floor....i just couldn't believe it...it was so confronting, but that is the harsh reality. One day...somewhere along my travels i want to go see this safe injecting centre in Canada, i think it would be really interesting yet heartbreaking at the same time.

Even though i'm an ex-abuser of drugs, I want to get into researching and learning about drugs and users world wide. Unfortunately the course I'm doing at the moment isn't really teaching me what i thought i would learn i will still continue with it...because in the end i'm sure it will all come in handy.

Who knows i might travel the world one day and come visit you all :P