90 days today....but a big question...need opinions

[paying_it_forward]

I haven't posted in aaages....I haven't needed to. Today makes 90 days...three months exactly of no suboxone, for a 2 year painkiller addiction...i haven't touched an opiate based painkiller since late 2009.

I have no cravings for painkillers whatsoever....but I'm having massive knee problems again...I'm talking major pain. I've tried panadol and an anti-inflammatory but nothing seems to ease the pain. I have had 2 previous knee operations...and half way through last year i slipped over in a shopping centre and cracked my knee cap. (still going with legal proceedings...ugh)

(and for the new people to the forum who may not know me....I'm currently studying Certificate 4 in Alcohol and other drugs...after my experience i want to help other people)

I went to the doctors the other week and showed her the abnormal swelling that wasn't there before the fall and she poked and prodded and said it seemed alright. Tomorrow I'm going back but seeing another doctor....

The problem i face is i don't know what to do mean time (if a treatment is going to take time etc)...should i RESPONSIBLY take the painkillers i was once addicted to (which is codine combined with an anti-inflammatory...the best thing for it)? I can't put up with the pain any longer.

When i was addicted to these painkillers my head/mind was in a different state....severely depressed...so many stressful things etc but now that is not really the case. I would be taking these painkillers for legitimate pain....bad pain...

I really don't want to tarnish my perfect record of being painkiller free...but then again I'm only 24 (25 next week :P) is it really expected that i am to never touch a painkiller again? Painkillers have their place in this world...i guess it's really just upto us to take it responsibly. I would reallyyy appreciate people's opinions on this particular question :)

Hope your all doing well!

[paying_it_forward]

First of all thankyou to everyone for your replies :)

I know there is always going to be a chance of relapse. But my main question is being so young is it really realistically to never ever take a painkiller for the rest of my life...not for addictive reasons...but for example if i was to get into an accident or something. Of course I'm going to avoid painkillers at all costs...and i have...even through all the migraines over the past year. But my knee is a different story.

It's such a frustrating and anxiety inducing situation to be in....and i have tried everything...osteo-panadol, anti-inflammatory tablets, anti-inflammatory gels...i even have what is called a "tens machine" where i put these sticky patches on the problem area and is hooked up to a little machine that sends electro type patterns to stop the pain messages, but only works when i have it on. I elevate my leg at night. But when i'm sitting in class the amount of pain in my knee and hip joint is shocking. I don't want to take painkillers...i have no urge or craving for them...and like i said i don't want to tarnish an otherwise perfect record of sober time.

I'm seeing a doctor today (not the one that dosed me on suboxone though...i live 2 hours from him). I know they more than likely won't give me painkillers because of my history, and can understand that from their point of view.

I think a cortisone injection sounds like my best option. Perhaps they might do another MRI to see if the crack has healed or perhaps gotten worse? But they sure as heck better do something, because something is not right.

As for my other "head" issues i have an appointment with an ADHD specialist next week so those problems will be getting seen to and sorted out.

But anyways i'll post again after I've been to the doctors and let ya'll know how i go...

[Sophie2337]

Thanks for the info on Tramadol.  My doctor gave me a script for 90pills with 4 refills.  He said they are better to take then Lortab.  I've been taking about 2 a day for six months.  If I go back on Lortab I don't take them.  Been off Lortab for 2 days and will give up Tramadol now.

[laurel453]

I have just read the latest journal entries you have writen and i am a little bit worried about your words.... i agree with sara, i think your brain is playing dangerous mind games ..remember that a relapse starts before it happens. On one of the journals, you talked about understanding the way we run away from reality with drugs and you wanting to escape reality. You should try the non narcotic meds and avoid at all costs the opiates, Grace. There are meds that will work for you now, i am sure...Be safe , `please :)

[dominosarah]

IF you end up with more pain meds i hope you will have a plan in place of having someone hold the pills for you.  We have no control over them let alone being responsible.  It takes only a short time for our brain to trigger the on button again.  I hope you will look at other non narcotic meds for this right now.  Your brain is already playing games with you......Let us know how you are doing.         sara

[laurel453]

Have you tried naproxen sodic , Grace ? It worked when i had a knee contracture...

[firefish]

I want to echo Brother Frankie's response to the Tranadol suggestion.  It is indeed an opiate, albeit a synthetic one.  And, speaking from experience, I would rather withdraw from Hydros than Trams any day.  I did both, and the tramadol was just flat painful.  Doctors have been sold a bill of goods on tramadol in that "it doesn't produce the euphoric effect that hydrocodone does."  It is, however, VERY addicting, especially to folks who have been on other narcotics.  It does produce a feeling of well-being and Lord Almighty it does relieve the pain.  
Mu suggestion to Pay Fwd is to seek someone who can fix the injury to your knee.  If it means surgery, so be it.  You will be on pain killers but usually that would be Dilaudid, in a very limited supply.  Dilaudid, from most accounts including my own, is a VERY potent pain killer but has little, if any, "drug effect."  It just kills pain.  Oh, it can be addicting, but the tendancy is to not take it for "the buzz" or t"the happy feeling" and I found I quickly went from 60 mG a day to 4 in two weeks.  After two days of 4 mG I stopped completely with only a little bit of insomnia to contend with.