question..

[samari]

I havent had a pill today, primarily because of the fact that I over did it last night and ended up taking  Waaaay to many, so now im left with a half and dont want to take it, its strange to me that If i know its there, I have less of the need  to stress it but as soon as i take that half (although that small amount does absolutely nothing for me) and I know i have no more, I began freaking the hell out, why is that? is it mental?

[Bkitty]

Totally mental. This is the part of addiction that is called the mind f*ck. It wants us to think that we have control when realistically,,we dont. Pay close attention to this feeling. You need to learn to overcome this in a healthy way. This feeling and mental hell will sneak up and grab ya. The best bet is to get rid of all the pills and ways to get them. Cut them off. Because I gaurantee that you/ the addiction in ya will definately find a way to grab them again. We cant control this monster. Keep your gaurd up. Hang in there (((hugs)))~Bkitty

[Mcr2001]

Hunker down, you will do this.  My daughter is now getting to the age where she is learning about such things in school....she doesn't know but when she is old enough I will tell her to warn her...as for your upcoming battle, Gatorade, immodium, ensure shakes, vitamins try to make sure you have all this stuff before it really kicks in.  The people on here are so wonderful just read some of the posts and you will see you are not alone...I took my last pills (4 of them) last Friday at 7 pm at first count hours then days and go from there.  We are here but be prepared don't push yourself and take days 3 and 4 off work if you can.  Good luck and keep posting

[samari]

I am so happy for u 7 days, an official week! Does ur daughter know of the past addiction?

[samari]

I was the first thing that came to mind. It was the last one I had so now..... HERE WE GO!

[samari]

Thanks <3 unfortunately my dumb *** took that half, just got back from picking a a friend, who's been dating a guy about a month well he left her at the store in HER car come to find oilut he's snorting pills ,she flipping out ,ect- basically I had no reason to take it but my anxiety got sooo high i

[Mcr2001]

There are worst case scenarios but people do it all the time.  I was so afraid I cried ALOT....yeah that's me a big 280 pound man crying like a baby out of fear but i made it and you will too....also if you have kids I am sure they will notice sooner or later if you don't stop.  You can't hide it forever.  Today is day 7 for me and I had the first sober meal with my daughter in a while and it was so great.  You can do this and if you need any more help feel free to message me

[samari]

After reading ur comment I am now laughing thinking of how mortified my face must of looked when u said flush it lol. I am afraid of going cold turkey some ppl have seizures and stuff that scares the hell outta me I have 2 kids

[Mcr2001]

It is mental there is no doubt.  The pills are your security blanket.  The question to answer is if you are ready to let that blanket go...when I finally had none in the house I freaked for a few hours but then I realized my life was more important.  If you are up to it talk to your dr. And see if a small dose of Ativan or Xanax may help but remember they are also addictive.  After my first detox I went on the bender from hell and payed with a second detox.  There will be no third.  Take that step and flush the blanket.