I'm disgusted!

[momof41999]

Listen I'm beyond mad so bare with me!
My doctor puts me in these pain meds for months and now my doctor takes them away, I'm all for it don't get me wrong but he gives a addict a refill on Monday of 30 then calls today and says.... The X-ray of my tailbone looks good, weak myself off the narcotics and start taking 800 mg of ibuprofen 4x a day! WAIT WHAT???????? Ok so now I have 12 left and I'm suppose to wean myself???? How the hell am I supposed to do that??????? I'm no doctor! So here's the only plan I have..... 3 a day for 4 days? Idk what to do! Anyone wanna chime in on some kinda plan so I don't screq myself up anymore then I already am!????
I should have never called him! I should have stayed cold turkey like I was doing! Thank for the help doc....NOT!

[momof41999]

Btw I told his nurse she's a idiot and to relay the message! Doesn't anyone get I didn't ask to falls and hurt myself nor did I ask to be on these god forsaken crap pills! I was a normal person before I fell! I didn't have a bottle of pills controlling my life!!!!!

[momof41999]

Oh and now I'm even more determined to quit this nasty habit.... Protein shakes, cranberry juice, detox flush, vitamins and tons of bananas and guess what? I'm going back to the gym and pushing my body back to what it was just 10 short months ago! GO ME!!!!!!! I think this was exactly what I needed to push me so thanks doc for doing nothing lol

[gettingmylifeback1964]

Nothing like a little **** and vinegar to get the engine started!  Mine was my doctor trying to put me on suboxone!  Things that helped me the most are, hot baths, tons of water, eat whenever you can, fresh fruit and protein, and exercise, lots of exercise.  It's the only way to get rid of the heebee geebies.  You were half way there a couple of days ago, so you know what your getting into.  You can make your pills last as long as you can but I don't think it will do you any good.  My fast taper (3 weeks) was a waste of time and just resulted in extended withdrawal time.  You can do this and you know I'm here for you.

[NEWBEGININNGS]

I WANT THE OLD ME BACK.... NOT THE ADDICT THAT I AM AND ALWAYS BE. "HERE IS THE KICKER - I AM SAYING THE WORDS,
BUT TOTALLY NOT BELIEVING THE TRUTH, THAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR EVERYDAY".

[NEWBEGININNGS]

I HATE THAT TRUTH - BUT I KNOW I CAN'T MOVE FORWARD IN MY LIFE IF I DON'T ACCEPT,  ADMIT,  AND SCREAM IT OUT TO THE WORLD. I AM RECOVERED BUT WILL ALWAYS BE AN ADDICT.

SHIRLEY.....     ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT......

[momof41999]

He pissed me off cause this is his fault as much as mine!!!! I can do this I know I can! I was there and panicked last week but this time I'm going to kick ***!!!!! Getinmylife.... What else should I buy??? I'm going away this weekend and it's all outdoor hiking and stuff so that will keep me moving

[gettingmylifeback1964]

Grab some emergen-c immune plus drink crystals.  That will help for energy.  Also pick up some 5-HTP plus, 100mg.  It will help you with your mood and start the process of brain healing.  As far as the hike, you may want to think twice about that one Hun.  I found the first couple of days off, my energy was at an all time low, then come the shakes, RLS, than your huggin the toilet like I was today!  Good news is, I'm starting to feel better!!  More good news, with all the exercise I've been doing to get rid of the RLS I've lost 10 lbs haha

[Krissy_123]

No don't cancel your hike! That's the best thing you can do,get out,get far away from home and doctors and into the wilderness and hike your butt off!! Push push push that's what you do! Fake it until one day you wake up to realize you're not faking anymore. We all want to blame our doctors,because we are addicts we have to blame someone. I blamed my doc for years,but it didn't put me into recovry blaming some one else. I did that.

[momof41999]

I'm going to push myself, we all know our own bodies and I know mine is going to fall the hell apart if I sit still. I'm 45 but I only weigh 115 and I never stop moving. I know last week when I quit cold turkey I didn't want to move but made myself and I did feel better moving. I'm not going on a long hike but we have a few fall festivals I am going to and the one is near a state park we like to walk through. My kids know what's going on ( not the 6 year old ) but my husband doesn't, before anyone says I should tell him I'll tell you right now I can't, I'll be sick and that's all he needs to know.... I talked to my daughter who talked to her boss ( both are RNs ) and they suggested I take 2 a day, one when I get up and one early afternoon for 5 days and hold on tight the 6th day for the withdrawls. One thing I have going for me I think is I went from 7.5/325 to 5/325 two months ago, the stronger ones I took up to 8 a day, now with the 5's I haven't taken more then 6 or 7 a day, I'm pretty much talking out my *** and this is all wishful thinking BUT I know no matter how bad I feel it's not forever and it will be over soon.

[gettingmylifeback1964]

Just worried about you Allison.   Don't want you to be out in the middle of the forest and run out of energy like I did last weekend.  Exercise is great, it does make you feel better for sure, but your body also needs some energy to heal so make sure you leave yourself some OK?

[momof41999]

I won't I promise. Today I'm drained and it's only 8:50 but my day starts at 5am. My back is killing me so I'm going to see how I feel by the weekend. The weather went to **** here so I'm always cold but with the withdrawls I'm extra cold! I'm praying this taper helps me so I'm not immobile cause that can't happen in the line of work I do.

[gettingmylifeback1964]

I was very weak during my taper as well, that's why I though it not a good idea to hike, but you never know, you may be fine!  Hot baths are the best for that pain Hun.  I've been taking 3 sometimes 4 a day lol.  Not looking forward to my gas bill!  As far as work goes, can you take a couple days off if needed?  I know day 5 and day 6 clean were the worst for me.

[gettingmylifeback1964]

Btw, it's only 10 degrees Celsius here.  Grey and damp but the rain has stopped.  This the weather for hurting bones!

[momof41999]

No I can't take time off plus I just picked up a holiday job at a retail store 2 days a week( told you I don't sit still lol ). I know I'm weaker today then I was yesterday but yesterday I was so sour and beyond mad I took at least 6 pills if not more,

[VICourageous]

Hi momof1999 and Welcome to our Forum.

The good thing is that You were not one them for yrs & yrs & yrs so this is a plus on your side. Plus you seem to be on the Healthy side.

These type of meds whack out our Brain Chemistry, so it is the Mental that will be a task. Your Emotions will come flowing back as the Brain/Body has to adjust back to a natural state after we removed these Stimulants.

Keeping your mind re-direct and busy is a good one. Sure you will have some Anxiety, Jitters, Sleep issues, Aches, and No-Low Motivation and so forth. Most of us had Rebound Pain. The pain seems worse at first because of the Brain/Body adjusting and what we did to the Nervous System. Just know it will all ease up in time. Time & Patience is what we have said on here for yrs.
Just make sure you stay Hydrated by Drinking Tons of water. You can add Lemon and a dash if Sea-Salt, as this will help. Drink some Protien drinks too. We have to replenish back all the vit/min and get those electrolytes going again. The whole thing is to build up a strong Immune system to get you through this. Healthy Eating is a way to get this right away. You can add vit/min like Magnesium, Potassium, Calcium and Ds to help relax the muscles and for sleep. There are all kind of great natural products, but 3 yrs later I see that Emergen-C makes some great ones that are called Immune Plus and Electro-Mix and so forth. You will find out what will help with anxiety/sleep and the ones that help with energy. Amino-Acids are very good for the Brain too! Epsom salt bath are wonderful for pulling out toxins and to help relax one.
I wish you the best and stick with your Post, as we do come in & out for Support. You will also be able to Support others that are in your shoes right now too. Hang in & stay Positive. You could go to some of those Meetings for Support too!

Bless
Vickie

[dominosarah]

Did your doctor know you were an addict before he prescribed this last batch of pills?

[momof41999]

How could my doctor not know considering he prescribed the pills since January Dominosarah???

[TramadolTrap]

You would be surprised the things doctors do! My doctor still tells me I'm ok taking tramadol. I'm like no, I abise it badly

[dominosarah]

A big part of the recovery process is coming clean about our addiction, that includes the doctor.  Unless you have sat down with him/her they dont usually know the extent of our addiction.

[msdelight]

Another part of recovery is accepting responsibility for our actions. We are all educated consumers now, and you were the one swallowing the pills after all. Maybe the doctor noticed some drug seeking behavior (you did need a monthly refill, right? ) and decided it was time. He did you a favor though it doesn't seem so right now. Lucky this didn't continue for years! You will get through this!

[momof41999]

Oh I take full responsibility, I know damn well I took too many and dos this for months BUT as a doctor it's his responsibility to help me taper off don't you think? It's all good I'll figure it out with my family but I shouldn't have to. My daughter who is a RN had to approach her boss to help her mom? Yeah no it shouldn't have gone down that way.
As for being a addict I am that, I'm 45 and never took a thing legal or illegal until January when I hurt myself so do I think I'm a addictive person? Nope cause Ive taken nothing all my life until January. Am I having a hard time right now? Yep! Did I do this to myself? Sure did! Did I have help? Sure did! A medical doctor who should have warned me or at least since he didn't and I am very naive he should have helped me taper but he didn't so like I said I'm in my own.

[gettingmylifeback1964]

Hey Allison, just an idea.  Can you break you pills in half?  It will help elongate what you have left.

[msdelight]

Honey I didn't mean to insult you, it's just the way doctors think. I'm an RN too.No doctor is going to give you more to taper, because he cannot monitor that taper and for all he knows it is just prolonging the inevitable. Tapering is HARD. It's like slowly pulling off a bandaid instead of stretching the skin and giving a quick yank. You would still be sick during the taper. Its also really hard to stick to when you have pills in hand. In his mind this isn't helpful.
I'm sorry you are sick and feeling angry. But the best thing you can do right now is put the past behind you and move forward. A taper would have led you to the same place your in. You are not alone in this.  You have all of us behind you, routing for you. Anger will not make you well. Please forgive my tough love this morning.  I care about you and want to see you beat this.
Love and friendship, MsD

[momof41999]

Awh I'm not mad at you doll and I'm not even mad at him anymore however he should have spoke more, said something, anything ya know? Instead had a nurse pretty much tell me I'm on my own.
I took 20 mg yesterday told I had one, I have 8 left and instead of elimidrol I cancelled that order and ordered Calm Support and Kava Kava for nighttime. I'm withdrawling and feel like poop but I can do this I know I can!