Can I do this? I am so scared

[Cheer]

Well here I sit with the computer on my lap and tears streaming down my face once more. Again I have refilled my script for Norco (vicodin) and got myself up to 9 500/325 a day. Some how as always I think I can control it this time and only take as prescribed, but I always fail!! Now I am facing ct in a couple of days and I am so scared. The last time this happened I vowed to get off them for good but only lasted a couple days.
I want my life back, I have to make it this time. I am no longer who I was three years ago before the pills. Please be here for me as I try again. When I try and stop the anxiety is so horrible that I can hardly stand it. I wish I had a place to go and do this, as you see my mother 85 lives with my husband and I and I don't her to know. I really need your support. When can I expect the symptoms to subside and allow me to go back to work? The worst is feeling like I am coming out of my skin.

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE!!

[kim715]

I'm here and I will help and support you through this any way I can, as will everyone else here.We're a family here and as long as you are here you will never have to do it alone.Check out the thomas recipe in the health pages,top right and post often.You said you will be facing c/t in a few days so I assume you  still have some pills left.I don't know what you're work schedule is like and if you have scheduled some time off to get through w/ds but if it's possible for you to start today flush those pills and face this demon head on.There is something so empowering about flushing,it gives you a sense of control.You're in control,not those pills and you can do this.You are going to feel like you have the super flu for 5-8 days,day 3 for some reason always seems to be the hardest for most.Exercise is the best weapon so get as much as you can,gets those chemicals in the brain flowing again.Hot baths for the RLS and to help with the anxiety.Try and keep your mind occupied,clean out closets,rent some funny movies,post here,get out of the house for a walk around the mall or around the block.Take it minute by minute,second by second when it gets rough.Before you know it you will see that light at the end of the tunnel.All the best...Kim

[desperatetostop]

I'm here. and I'll be here for you, as will the others on this site. do you also take anti-anxiety meds? I'd say use them for the w/d...but if you're an addict, maybe not such a good idea. But, that is what I did during mine, I am rx'd ativan...and I only take them when I have anxiety...for some reason they do nothing for me but knock me out...and that's a good thing.

I was just thinking earlier tonight how just a month ago I was in your shoes....when I got my last refill I promised myself that I would only take the rx amount .. and 2 weeks later I was out of it, yet again.

You can do this...and we are all here for you and to support you.

(((hugs)))