Can't believe I am back again-need some help

[Matty15]

Feel like I have wrote this so many times. So I am 10 days off percs,vikes, ocs and even a little bit of H at the end. (thats when I knew i had to be drastic). So 10 days ago I quit my job ( just a bartending job so not like I gave up a career) and my parents have a time share in Puerto Rico every October for 2 weeks. So I told my Dad a little about why I needed to come down there. I could detox here in the city on my own I have tried so many times and by day 2 or 3 I make the call. Thats why I booked a flight and grab whatever money I had and headed to puerto rico to detox it out. I needed to be away from everyone even my wife . Especially away from those friends who are not really friends just there to get drugs. I am back now and although PR was great I mean I felt like crap for a few days there I had no worries. I had a pool and beach, Life was everywhere to look at. Now I am scared sh....ess because I am back in my one bedroom apartment , my wife working all day. Now I am looking for new job, money is tight and I feel like I just gonna break down. I need help with aftercare? whats the best thing to do ? aa or na meetings? counselor?

[newby269]

running was also great for relieving my anxiety just fyi.  glad you had a good day!  Cheers!

[Matty15]

So its like day 12 and I am feeling pretty good. Went for a run, exercise has always been a key for me when recovering. Every time I think about using , I try and put on the sneaks and run or something. Again I wanna thank all of you for the advice

[gnarly_1]

Hey Matty.....good to see you back just wish it was under better circumstances....
the good news here is your ready to start treating the desese instead of treating the symptoms....all of the options you listed are good right now N/A and A/A are free
and would probably work best if money is tight .....you can check into free consoling
with your state or city run mental health care provider there are free conslors out there
if money is tight the main thing here is any of the programs will teach you the skills and give you the tools to make the changes necessary in life to overcome your addiction you dont have to keep living like you have been you can live drug free...keep posting for support
I think your on your way to recovery this time around good luck and God bless...Gnarly  

[Matty15]

What a great line, "go for recovery like you went for drugs and there is no doubt you will make it." So I did some research and found an NA meeting tom and I am going to call and see what I can do about a therapist. I wanna thank everyone for all the advice. Swear this site has saved me so many times.

[IBKleen]

WOW...detoxing in PR? What more could you ask for.

So, now that you are home...Understand that using is a symptom of "what is really going on". Counseling will get you to the root of your problems, NA will keep you there. I suggest both,and plenty of it. I hear members all the time saying "I have a meeting next Thursday". That's not the deal, you need to jump in and commit. 90 meetings in 90 days.

Go for your recovery like you went for your drugs and there is no doubt you will make it.

Hope you keep posting.

[jerry4664]

Congrats of the detox but now that life is real and back in your face its time to meet with AA/NA if that works for you but if the dope was in your life to cover something up? that needs to be dealt with now that you are somewhat clean and I assure you a few months from now you will look back at PR and have a new love for that place good luck ..

[dominosarah]

Yes it is very scary at first.  Check out a counselor.  Dealing with a death is very hard, i know as i lost my dad and to this day i am still working on that.  I thought numbing myself up would just make the pain go away.  I was so wrong.  There will be painful times ahead for you but that is okay.  We have to work thru those emotions to heal.          sara

[Matty15]

Thanks for the advice. Think I really need a therapist of some kind. This all began because of the death of someone very close to me. I don't think I have ever got past that and I think that needs to come out and that will help in my recovery. The mental part of the addiction is the worse. I mean I will take wds the hard part is when you get through the detox and you find out you have to go face the world everyday without pills. scary

[ang_811]

good for u on knowing what u need to do to stay clean. another big congrats to ur ur clean time. sarah gave u some good adive about the meetins especially if money is tight. they r free and u will find people there u can relate to....life does get so much better once we get clean. it doesnt seem like it now but it does get better. u can start appteciating the lil things in life again.... good luck to ya and keep us posted.

[dominosarah]

Check into NA/AA meetings.  The program works if you work it.  It is also free if money is tight.  There are also good addiction counselors out there also.  Start calling around.  The quicker you get going with something the better you will feel.  There is a life out here clean and sober and it is waiting for you.  You can and will get thru this!!       sara