Day 1. More scared than sick. I think.

[ThisCantSuckForever]

I'm on Day 1 of going c/t from opiates. My doses were pretty high (Vicodin 10/325 x 10/day) and have been consistent over the last year or so. I finished my last two pills last night around 6pm. It's been 16 hours. I'm running hot/cold and feel kind of shaky, but that's it so far.

This is not my first rodeo. I've tried to quit before. I really need it to stick this time, and I feel like I'm doing all of the right things (game plan, Thomas Recipe), but right now I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Shouldn't I feel like garbage by now? And don't get me wrong, I don't feel fantastic, but I could drive to the store or unload the dishwasher if I had to.

Has anyone experienced delayed withdrawal, where their first day was not too bad and then they were hit by a ton of bricks? I have a hard time believing I'm getting off easy.

[LostNoMore]

ThisCantsuck:

You say your husband needs you. Active addiction leads to jails, institutions or death. It doesn't care if your husband needs you. It doesn't care about
anything except controlling and eventually bringing down your life. YOU need you! Seize this chance to get out! Hang on. Fight for it. We will help you through it. When I wanted to stop using, when pills weren't working anymore and my life was a waking nightmare, my disease kept telling me it would get better, that I was just in a rut and a few more pills would pull me out. I didn't listen. I listened to the people here and I'm so grateful I did. Good Luck and God bless.

[Sarah11212]

I don't think there really could be a wrong time?  This is your life on the line.  To me, it's like this- If you were told that you need surgery and it was a life or death situation, what choice would you make?  I would make the choice to have the surgery, no matter what was going on in my life.  Addicts will always find a reason to quit at a "better time".  The time is now.
It's great of you to think about your husband needing your support right now but you need to put yourself first right now.
This isn't about anyone, but YOU.
Sorry if I have come across as being brutally honest but I've been where your at and realized that I had to put myself first in order to reclaim my life.
Please know that we are all here for you.
Did you pick up your rx?

[ThisCantSuckForever]

I got a call from my husband. He's been working crazy hours at his job, and the stress is super high. And now something has gone all pear shaped and he doesn't know when he'll be home, doesn't know what his schedule will be like...all this after having come off 12 hour night shifts. He's a wreck. I feel that if I detox now, it's going to make things just that much harder for him.

I know I'm worth it. Ok, that's a lie. I want to believe I'm worth it. But I'm so torn. If I do this now, I'll feel incredibly selfish. He needs me. I don't know what to do. I know there's no such thing as a right time, but is it possible for there to be a really wrong time?

[lulu747]

Please don't give up on yourself. What is one week of physical suffering when your life is on the line?  The truth of the matter is-addiction ends in death if the cycle is not broken.  Your life is worth it...You are worth it.

[ricart70]

WHOOOAAAA do not give up like that.   Please just get through one more day.You can make it.Why keep putting yourself through this just for a few days relief because that's all your going to ever have if you give up on yourself

[ThisCantSuckForever]

I don't think I can do this. Everything hurts and there's this feeling inside of me, this constant, pressing anxiety that I can't lose. I feel like my soul has the flu. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true. I've called in my hydrocodone refill. It'll be ready in an hour. I have to walk three blocks to get it. I don't even know if I can. Oh my god. I can't do this, you guys. Not yet.