Day 1 oxycontin withdrawal

[HarperOC]

Today is day one off oxycontin. I was snorting about 5 80's a day. I want to stop so badly. It is painful to type this right now but my body hurts so bad, my eyes are so watery, my legs wont stop twitching, i am sweating and so hot and then freezing cold the next second. My stomach hurts so bad I think I might throw up at any second. But I want to get through this so badly. I know this is just the drug trying to keep me using, I need to get through these WD's I want to have a real life and actually live my life not just watch it go by. Noone knows I am detoxing and I cant really tell anyone, I just want to go back to ym old self and be there for the people in my life and stop causing them so much pain. Is there anything I can do to help with the anxiety i feel like im about to have a panic attack. Also im just wondering about aftercare, what is the best form of aftercare people have done? Thanks for anyone that may take the time to read this and to everyone on here that makes this forum happen it is really inspiring to read your comments and stories, it gives me some hope through all this.

[HarperOC]

Hey guys, thanks for checking and all the support. Today is okay, not great, tired, legs hurt, depressed, weighed down, etc. but im  trying to be more positive, if i just focus on those negative things then thats all im gonna see in my day. I slept a few hrs last night thats progress, i havent thrown up thats progress, my mental state is a true roller coaster but every now and then i get a few moments of happiness, and i feel alive for the first time in so long. To me that feeling is worth fighting for. It is finalyl sunny todayy, i am going to try and get out go for a walk and push myself to move around. Things are not great but I can see progress and thats what matters. I know i have a long long road ahead and lots of work to do but i am just grateful that there is a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel ok right now, i know that in an hr i could be depressed and craving but i am just trying to focus on right now and do everything i can to stay away from using.

[wantnormalagain]

I trully hope today is  amuch better day for you, i know it does get easier physically, then there is the mental part, as i am 10 days clean, i find i have to keep busy but also it seems to be certain times that are the worst, i use food to help, not recomended to all as it can cause other problems but it works for me, I wish you all the best, you CAN do this, jsut keep positive

[shilohpeace]

OCHarper, what you have done is just amazing and good. you are using your sheer will to live and look at how far you have come.  You are an inspiration. Keep going!  Keep going!!  You are headed for the light. Blessings.

[Dav125]

Now your finding part of the key here. Distraction as a key to get those reoccuring using thoughts out of your mind.

In many ways this is like a cigarette addiction. It becomes part of an ingrained pattern of daily activity and that alone is a hard habit to break..Like if I get ready to drive somewhere, virtually everytime I pull out of the driveway,, I light a cigarette..Just a bad habit that's got to be replaced with some sort of countermove..

Its a struggle at first trying to get that thought pattern to stop making so much noise in one's head but it does get better and better the more you practice it. It could be taking a walk everytime the bad thoughts come at you, deciding to sweep the floor, move some laundry as I stated above in one of my other posts before,,just anything to distract you and get some distance from the thought when it hits.

On food, really try some of the "Garden vegetable variety" Progresso soup..And a grilled ham and cheese sandwich if your up to making one..At first I could only get bites here and there, but after a couple of days I was eating half bowls with half a sandwich many times dipping my sandwich in the soup, And a few days after that found myself eating a whole bowl with a sandwich..

I guess maybe some of this had to do with my taste buds coming back alive and actually tasting the food...Then the cravings for sausage, biscuits with gravey hit..Man! I couldn't seem to get enough of that with a bunch of scrambled eggs mixed in..:).Then soon after around the 12th to 14th day, I was back into grilling some boneless chicken breasts which I might make into sandwiches, add to the vegetable soup, or eating them with homemade mashed potatos.Basically light foods. .

Theres also another cute thought that a girl named Kimbo out in California came up with..She was having difficulty and was talking with a friend that was part of an AA or NA group she had been going to meetings with..He said "Well Kim?,,It sounds like your ready to join our other club"..To which she asked "What club is that?"..In response he said "The No Matter What Club!"..Meaning ?...No matter what,,we will not pick up another one of those nasty pills..No Matter What!..

That was so neat to hear her story about it and it makes perfect sense..When things feel down on you,remember that thought..It sums everything up so very perfectly and helps your mental resolve everytime those little demons attempt to play tricks on your mind.

You still have some mental swirling days ahead of you but it is changing ever so slightly each day..In another week and a half you will really begin to notice the change.Spurts of energy will start to happen more and more. You really will find yourself thinking less about the oxy and more about things your wanting to do....

I wish I could pull up a few posts for you where people started posting that after about two to two and a half weeks that they never believed they would start feeling so much better considering the way they felt during that first week and a half. There are a bunch of those posts in here and many of these individuals were far more sckeptical than what you have expressed..

And hey! Time is starting to move faster for you,,is it not?...First it was the first day. Now I think your near 10 days almost?..Hang on..Before you know it you will be at 20 days going Wow!  Then your thoughts will statrt saying " I am so glad I I decided to end that nightmare"..Because you will really begin to feel the benefits of finally letting go...You will actually begin to smile about it...:)

[HarperOC]

Yes today was relatively good. Getting out and keeping my mind distracted helped. Things arent great but they are do-able, i dont have to spend the day over the toilet at least so ill be grateful of that. Trying to keep my mind focused and not letting it wander to using or OC at all. Ive got some hope, just going to keep trying i know theres a long road ahead, but im just grateful today was okay.

[Sad_Woman]

Go out and enjoy your dinner, even if you don't eat much it's nice to have a visit with your grandma. It'll do you a world of good. BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!