Day 14

[TS8777]

Ok this is getting nuts. It's so hard to sleep and when I do fall asleep I wake up within 2 hours with chest pain and just overwhelming  thoughts. And honestly I can't even say it his is day 14 for me because when I went to the er on Friday they gave me something for pain so did that set me back. Just feeling pissed off right now if that be the case. He prescribed me 15 xanax I took them for the anexiety and it did nothing for me except for make me feel worse. The little energy I did have was completely wiped out. Please tell me this roller coaster will end. I am planning to move back to pensacola within the next month and I need to be strong to so this. I have a lot to fac there. First and foremost is getting my 12 year old son that I lost custody of to my mother because of my addiction. Please God all I want is this nightmare to be over!!!!!!!! I need to feel that closeness with my husband again. He said he is convinced that I don't love him nor do I want this family. God knows how hard I am trying. I don't want to be an addict for life and continue to lose everything that I am working so hard for. Please I just need encouragement right now.

[tramuser99]

I feel your pain, sleep is killing me as well and I was even prescribed benzos which really dont do much.  Its like our brains torture us and try to make us weak by not letting us sleep so we eventually give into the pills.  

[Cricketk92]

Hey Tina
WOW life sure is sucky right now for you!  Im so sorry and I wish there were some magic words!  Kelly said it all in her post!  Time and Patience are words that we hate when we are feeling anxious and on a roller coaster....but that is what its gonna take!  Like I said yesterday I didnt start to feel almost sane until close to 30 days!  Yes I was back at work and doing life but I was still all up and down with energy coming and going!  
ARe you going to the meeting tonight?  Please try to get there!  It really is so important!!!
Keep on posting and hanging in there!
XO Karen

[kellygirll]

it takes time sweetie how long were you on the pills? for me i was on them 15 years and when i got home from rehab i had just under 30 days and omg  i felt just awful no energy sadness  depression you name it i didn't start to come around till sometime in november and i have just been steadily improving every day since i know I'm still not 100% but I'm heading there i have about 5 months i did relapse with 4 pills the weekend after christmas but let me tell you when you hear a bad day sober is better than your best day high i finally get that and it is so true you just have to be patient and that is so hard esp if your getting crap from your husband b/c he doesn't really understand what is going on with you  i wish you all the best hang in there and just keep plugging along if you stay on track you will feel better i promise and are you going to meetings? you need meetings or some sort of aftercare if you wanna stay sober that much i know for sure XOXOX