Well kitting cold turkey didn't help me out. See I started hating pills, but my husband wiould give them to me. So I tried them I tried it and now I'm addicted to these, I hate it I have my life like this. I can't hold any problems w/o them. I get super anxious. I was never like this now I can handle a simple problem w/o them I have panick attacks. Which was never what I thought I'd become. See my husband just stop and I'm profundity of him and I wish I could do the same yet It feels harder. I get depressed when I can't solve something so simple . I hate this! I don't know what to do I feel judge by him all the time. I just don't understand I hated pills until he offered to me and I was hooked. Why ? Why couldn't I have been strong. It makes me feel alone. But all the personal financial orobles we are have get to m, bug time, WHY?? I was a good person and now I'm a junkie a slave to pills. I pray to god evertime that I could build my self esteem , and not always get nagged fog my mistakes Thant for the good I've done, no more how little it is. I think I look for him to make me feel good as appose to hear negative comments all the time. Soon I hope to get to the next step of this. Thank you everyone! Love me!
Well so much for day #2. This is really hard. I'm at work tonight and a friend who recently was in a car accident asked me if I wanted a few of his hydrocodone 10. I told him no at first. Then he says he wasn't going to charge me. He took the bottle out of his pocket and gave me three. It was like I couldn't speak. I just looked at them in my hand. I could feel my eyes watering up. Before I could think, they were in me. Happen that fast. Now I have fed the craving. It's really sad to feel like I am normal. Now I'm saying to myself that this is it. No more. What is happening to me? My heart says quit. But my mind and body says just a little longer. Is weaning off better than cold turkey? Should I just get Xanax to help me get off them or just get enough pills and take a lower dose until I feel like I do not need them anymore? This is so much harder than I thought.