Day 2

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I was here back in October, but relapsed after 4 days. I tried a few times in between but never made it past day 4. I am at it again, and want to make it stick. I know what to expect but I am still nervous and scared. I hate detox, absolutely whole heartedly hate detoxing. I just want to feel normal and feel like I will never feel normal. I wish I never took that first pill, I wanna scream and cry at the same time. I am on vacation this week so I figure this is the only chance I have to get thru the worst of it, but man is a pill calling my name. I don't want to think like this but it just takes over my mind. I hate this! Any encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[conhall]

Good Morning I just wanted to come on and give you some support Day 4 You can do this! Hope you have a good day!

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Thanks for the support surprisingly I have slept quite a bit since 9:30pm I wasn't expecting that but I am happy I was able too. I am on the tail end of day 3 now and just hoping for a better day. I will keep everyone updated for sure right now I may see if I can sleep a little longer. Thanks again!

[ariley13]

Hang on! You are doing great and in the thick of it right now. It's going to get better very soon. Everyone's different, but I started to feel a little better around the end of the 3rd/beginning of the 4th day. The anxiety and inability to sleep much hung on a little longer. If you are having trouble sleeping don't dwell on it. Like Ric said, get up and move around. Watch silly tv, listen to music,talk to people on this site, go for a walk, take a hot bath. Anything to get your mind off of it. If you lay there and fret it just makes thing a hundred times worse. You are doing awesome! Please hang in there. Keep us updated ok?

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I am just praying for a better day tomorrow, my hopes are not high as I know this is a slow process, but praying for sure! Thanks again :)

[ricart70]

You're welcome friend.  I know it sux.  The lack of sleep helped me after a couple of days of it I was kind of loopy and manic. Then came the energy crash. I was on some heavy duty stuff though.  It should be easier for you friend

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Yes I am still out of town until Saturday, absolutely no access. I have immodium, vitamins, magnesium, b complex, n hylands restless legs. I try n try to fall asleep but have no luck, I have to shut the TV off or I can't sleep but if I can't sleep tonight I will try not to dwell even tho it's so hard when I am so tired. Thanks for the support, I appreciate it!

[ricart70]

Hey I just wanted to send some support. You can do this. Do you have imodium and supplies ?  You are still out of town until Saturday right ? No access right ?    If you can't sleep just get up and watch tv. Tossing and turning will just make it worse .  You just hang in there and it will get better soon. You can do it !!!

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I just hope I can make it thru the night my stomach is cramping I'm tired but can't sleep I hate this so much! I hope this is the worst of it because I can't take much more :(

[conhall]

I remember when I couldnt sleep I would get up after tossing and turning and I would read or watch a movie nothing with to much drama  maybe a comedy something that will make you feel happy:)
You can do this and I Know its hard but just remember have a plan in place when you start to have an anxiety issue  maybe a walk or call a friend so you can push thru it. Just doing little things will help you even taking a shower to relax yourself. I will be checking back to see how you are doing, keep posting and reading it helps alot :)
You are taking your life back! and it will be so much better.

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I slept good the first night but last night was a whole lot of tossing n turning driving myself nuts! I am hoping with being out today n walking a little and just not lounging will help me to sleep a little better but I am not counting my chickens before they hatch!

[conhall]

day 4 for me I started to feel a little better the anxiety let up a bit and I was able to deal with it more for me I quit trying to fight it the anxiety and learned to ride the  waves , just try your best to keep your mind clear and remember each day you will see it does get better, I took many walks in the late afternoon and exercised it helped get those endorphins going  and helps with restless legs, How are you sleeping at night?

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Yea I am 2 hours away from home camping, this seemed like the best opportunity as I had this week off. I am doing alright. I just took 2 immodium n a 500 mg magnesium hoping that the magnesium will help my legs a little. When I wake up tomorrow it will be day 4, I have to keep telling myself this will get better its the only thing that keeps me going. Thanks for your words of encouragement, much appreciated.

[conhall]

Good for you getting out for those 5 hours You will see each day it does get easier to deal with . Stay strong and keep your head positive.
Just take it one day at a time the physical part is hard I remember ,
I Guess I missed where you said you were camping , I know thats got to be hard but you are doing it so remember you GOT THIS!

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I managed to get out n hang out with some of my family today, boy did it feel good not bein trapped in my own head. I was with them for a good 5 hours n now am back at my camper as I need a break. I am doing ok, now that I am back here my legs are restless, n now I am needing immodium. Just gotta keep pushing through with all I got, cause I don't have another detox in me, this really does bite the big one. Hope everyone is having a great 4th of July, I know I am not but atleast I got outside for a little while.

[1sorryperson]

If ur still on the campout, 'walk ur hiney off. do 5 miles'
Also ask the campground gate keeper if there might be an AA meeting in the area, he or she should know, and a meeting of either kind could be an absolute hoot full of vacationers.  Worth asking for.

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

It's the tail end of day 2 starting day 3 shortly, I am not looking forward to today at all. Tossed n turned all night, RLS like crazy, anxious, I just wanna scream!! I hate this, hate what I have done to myself, am so mad at myself. :( today is not going to be good I can feel it. Please someone pull me out of this... Ugh...

VICouragous I will take a look at your page for sure, thanks again!

[kyle505]

I wasn't suggesting that you tell everyone. That's not necessary. Just trusted friends, family, loved ones. They need to know. They will be a very important part of your on going support system. If I hadn't told my wife I would have relapsed by now. No doubt. I wish you only the best and hope that you don't lie to yourself as long as I did. From the heart.
K

[VICourageous]

Hi Girl, so you are camping? I love to camp. Got lots and lots of places up here where I live.Heck I own property in the woods by the rivers and lakes. I just wanted to share something with you. I have detoxed from the hydos and oxys before too. It seems a lot less tense. I am walking in 10months from a 12 years Methadone ride as well. I went c/t from 3 meds at once. In the beginning from day one I hit meetings all day. My Anxiety was on the moon and I could not sleep for a while. Going out to meetings was the only thing I could do. Then I got so weak that I could hardly walk from one end to the house to the other. I still went to meetings only. You are camping at that brings you out in nature so this is better then being stuck in a four corner room. I went camping in my 40days because of my Anxiety and Sleep. I am cheering for you all the way. Also glad that you have been sticking around on the site.I did put some info about this disease in my Journal that I got from a addiction specialist. I have really learned a lot about this disease and how affects our brain. Check those 2 out. It just might get you on a roll of wanting to know more. I have videos and reading. It has been saving my ash these days too! Besides my meetings and Support in all areas.
Bless

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Thanks for the encouragement I appreciate it! I have read your story and I want you to know I think it's awesome you are going to rehab, if I could I would have. I am sure good things will come of it and you will be happy you went! Methadone from what I have read and seen thru people close to me is a beast to get off, but I admire you for taking the steps to do so. :)

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

My dealer is on board, they are a friend as well and are happy with the decision I have made. My husband knows, he is my support system. As far as the meeting I am at a campground in another state in a small town that I am not sure how to get around. I would rather wait til I am back at home which will be in another 3 days which should be just enough time for me to be feeling better n there is a meeting at the church close by on Sunday night. Right now my focus is on feeling better, aftercare will start once I get home.

[lynnalb15]

Hey I know how u feel. Think of it like this.. I'd much rather be in your position. I've detoxed off oxy and pills before and it was cake compared to what's ahead of me now. I'm on methadone. And it's hell times 10000000. Your pretty lucky I wish more than anything I was only detoxing from pills. It's still going to be hard but u can do this. I promise you.

[conhall]

The best advice I could give you is to say if you keep relapsing after 4 days what is it the makes it so easy for you to relapse is it because the pills are always available? Get rid of your pill source and you must do something more than just telling your dealer Please dont sell to me, because if you have the $$$ they dont care. I got drastic and told my dealer I was quitting and If they ever contacted me again I would report them to police Pretty scary right! I had to do it though because what I was doing wasnt working.
I also Told My Guy and that was very hard he had no idea but you need accountability and also the support. And as far as waiting to start aftercare until you feel better why wait why not start now? You have to have a plan in place  because if not this carousel ride will continue and it just gets worse. Take your life back No its not easy but its worth it, you can do this but you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get there.    

[freedom371]

Your welcome..and thank you for your support as well. Try to get as much rest as possible. I know how hard that is. Also, i agree with kyles idea about a plan. That makes alot of sense. I, myself, need a more concrete plan. Keep yourself hydrated. Last year when i detoxed, i got so dehydrated, I got very sick and was put in the hospital. So thats important. Try to take a vitamin if you can. Also, do you have people you can call and talk to anytime? I have a couple of people i can talk to when im really freaked out...they've been there. Ive met them through NA. Do you have a support system?

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Our stories are very similar it's amazing how those little blue pills take a hold of you and fast too! I haven't been able to miss any work either, but I am on vacation this week so I am taking advantage of it. Sucky way to spend vacation but it sure beats spending all money I don't have. I have Xanax to take but hate that stuff so much sometimes I find it makes my anxiety worse. I use it as a last ditch effort to get a couple of hours of sleep.  

I really appreciate your advice on suboxone I can't tell you how many times I wanted to go on that in hopes it would help but stopped myself due to horror stories on this site.

I am sending support your way, I have faith you will be able to put this slip on suboxone behind you and move on with your life! You and I still have our whole lives ahead of us, we can get thru this!