Day 2

[Cira30]

Ready to tackle (or not ready jut kinda forced) day 2! Warm bath, Imodium, Gatorade all check. Now I am headed out the door for work. That is my weak point. I would take 90-120mg of lortab/Norco to get me through my work day, yesterday I had no motivation. I sat in a daze pretty much all day. I have a job that a lot of people count on me (I am responsible for over 100 employees). I can't call in. I just have to make it 2 more days then the weekend and then hopefully I will feel normal!!  My mom has no idea about my problem. She is helping me out with the kids because she thinks I am sick. She keeps telling me to go to the doctor. I just can't tell her, she is so proud of me and I don't want her to worry and think less. Ohh day 2 just help me get through!

[17mthssober275]

Congratulations on your clean time, keep up the good work.

[Dane74]

Great job on telling your  mom, i know how difficult that is, i had  to tell my family i needed help.  i have only been clean 4 months now , but i was 10 months and relapsed, very disappointing, but i learned a lot and on moving forward.  My opinion is to tell your secrets to family and friends, but since your marriage is on rocky grounds I'm not sure as i do not want you to have to be in a position where you will not get support.  I wish you look and great job thus far in tackling your addiction

[Cira30]

Yes that is what I think. One thing at a time. I cannot deal with someone that would not be on my side right now..

[quitinoxys]

Just hang in there and tell him when you are ready. It would be a shame to lose clean time over stress.

[Cira30]

Yes I am sure he knows something but he is not very understanding. :/

[quitinoxys]

I have 1127 great days clean off mega doses of oxycontin. My wife knew the whole time is she is my biggest supporter. I don't know how your relationship is with your husband but Yes you should tell your husband, but if it is going to cause extra stress right know maybe you should wait. You need to get through w/d but again the secrets we keep make us sicker. So it's a judgement call on your part. But don't stress about that now. Btw I see you stated you have been using for about a year, that's a long time to hide using from someone you are with everyday so he may already know. Although we addicts are VERY good at hiding things.  

[Cira30]

How long have you been clean? Was your spouse aware ( if you are married). That's my next thing, to tell him or not

[quitinoxys]

Cira great job telling your Mom as it's the dirty little secrets that keep us sick. Anyway Mom's know everything and if your Mom is like mine she knew something was up a long time ago. God bless our Mom's. Congrats on day 2 and Keep on Keepin on

[Cira30]

Yes big step in that. She was so understanding. Now I have one more very important person in my life on my side. Yippee. The husband still doesn't know. I don't think I will tell him. Not sure if out marriage can go through it. It isn't at a very good place right now

[digger1976]

Well done on surrendering Cira,

I know you were really struggling with telling your story to your mother, the relief you will be feeling now is so worth it isn't it. You will find support coming towards you now and you will realise things are easier with help. Keep up the great work my friend and keep knocking down them barriers.

Well done on the huge step forward, ;)

[glamisgirl]

Good job Cira, that is wonderful that you told your mom. It will help you so much having her support. My mom said the same thing when she found out. She couldn't put her finger on what was so different about me for the last few years she just new I wasn't myself and that saddened her. For our loved ones to have an explanation I think is a huge relief for them. They feel like, Ok they know the problem so now they feel like they can help. Good job I bet you feel a huge relief having it our in the open.

[EvolverU]

Yaaaaay Cira!! I'm so very happy to hear this, my friend. Please, stick close by & keep posting. Okay? Again Congrats on telling your mom. Great job!

Big Smile To You,
Annie

[Cira30]

After reading your post I decided to tell my mom. She was so supportive and kind of relieved to know why I have been the way I have been for a year!!

[EvolverU]

Hi there & Congrats on your decision to quit Norco & your 2nd Big Day! I feel for you, working through this! I think that if you let them know at work that you're ill but are still coming in so as not to let them down, your 'diminished/dazed' state will be understood.

I hear you on not wanting to let your mother down. The thing is -- (& I've been watching this for over a half year, here) -- when we try to carry the load of our addiction (in addition to all the other loads we carry!) on our own we usually fall because we remain 'unwitnessed' & have only our own internal voices to guide us. Part of recovery is learning to surrender & to reach out for help when we need it. (This has been a difficult lesson for me but I've made major strides.) When we come out to people around us, not only is it a huge relief but it starts to level the playing field for us. Suddenly, we have people around us to provide encouragement/support -- that we can talk to & who can keep an eye on us. Many people were afraid of telling those near & dear to them but it turns out that in the majority of cases the thing that upset family/friends/SO's was not so much the addiction but the fact that we didn't trust them enough to come clean sooner! (Something to think about, eh? [smile.])

It sounds like you might already know this deep down & that you have a good relationship with her. Imagine what would happen if you relapsed & she found out the hard way & not from you?

Please, let us know what you think & we can work from there. You're doing a great job so far. Let's make this stick with a good detox plan & beyond. You're CAN do this. We're here & we're pulling for you.