Scared to death!!!

[ilvmakindolls]

Hello again everyone.  Well, I have been totally screwing up on my weaning program.  I was doing so well until two weeks ago....things just seemed to spiral out of control on me (like I knew it would sooner or later).  When they are around, no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to stay out of them.  So by Thursday, I was about out of my Oxycodone 7.5/325's and I still have to make it until the 24th.  So, knowing I was about out of them, I started asking around to other people I know and got ahold of a few Vicoden 5.0/500's.  My weaning program called for me to take 5 of my oxy's a day but I was taking way more (as you can all tell...about 10 a day until Thursday of last week).  So, I dropped to 3 of my oxy's on Thursday....2 on Friday....1 Oxy on Friday and 1 Vicoden.  Then on Saturday and Sunday I took 2 of the Vicodens each day and today I took the last two when I got up at 3:00 a.m.  Now I am out.  I am scared of the withdrawal.  Plain and simple.  I have never made it completely through it.  I am hoping what I have done since Thursday will help with the withdrawal and make it easier.  I have not felt very good since Friday actually and even started with the runs this morning....and a little bit of the body aches are going on now....I had the sweats yesterday and those are a little better this morning.  Could this mean that I am not going to have as bad of a withdrawal as I normally do from going from 7 or 8 of my Oxy's a day to none?  I really want off these pills.  It is getting way out of control when I am asking friends for them....I know it is a problem and it is only going to get worse unless I grow up, and face the consequences of not following my Doctors Orders and allowing myself to let this get this far out of hand.....but the withdrawal is so scary to me.  I also found out at my last appt. that I am getting Ulcers...gee, now wonder with constanly worrying about where my next fix of pills is going to come from....and I know all the aspirin in them is not helping with it.  I want my life back!!!!  Right now I am really trying to relax and stay calm....but for a hypochondriac who suffers panic and anxiety attacks, it is really hard.  I guess that just adds to the problem....but as soon as I start running low on my pills, the worry starts.....I am sure if I could just stay calm, it would help out a lot.  I have to leave in a while to take my daughter to the school bus stop which for us is about 2 miles away....and that is another thing that worries me about the withdrawal.  I have to take care of her and my responsibilites as a mother are going to suffer if I go into withdrawal and can't function like it normally is....so I guess I am just wondering if by cutting back quickly over the weekend is going to make the withdrawal easier.
Thanks my friends for listening.  I could just really use the support.  

[vicki595]

Hang in there!  Don't take any more pills. It will make this much worse! Also,cancel that refill for the 24th. I mean it!  You need to get out of this cycle and,trust me,you will!!

Stay here and post,take many hot baths,keep your fluid intake up!!

You're doing great!

[LeaAnn807]

That's the thing.  A two or three day taper is pretty useless.  The WDs are going to come and go as they will, and there's only one thing to do.  NOT call the doctor!  This will be for nothing if you do!  Hang in there, and take hot baths!  Do you have any of the stuff that we tell everyone to get to help?

[ilvmakindolls]

Thank you for the information.  I am really sick and don't feel like doing much of anything.  The runs started today and even with the quick taper, it doesn't feel any better.  I was just hoping that if I tapered down low and went a couple days with just the one or two, it would help...but it just seemed to drag the withdrawal out.  Yesterday was horrible!  I don't understand how anyone can get through this and I am fighting with myself right now to not call the Doctor....but I keep telling myself I am almost done with it and it will get better soon.  The heating pad is helping some of the aches and pains but I still hurt all over.  I am trying to watch tv, read....just anything to keep my mind busy on other things...but it is hard to not think about how I feel.  I just have to stay strong a little while longer and I know that...so instead of calling the Doc, I have turned here.  Thank you all for your support!!!

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  You have really been going through all this for a while.  I think, no matter what, it's time to just do this and be done with it!  It's getting dragged out WAY longer than it has to.  This is the problem I had with tapering.  I had ZERO self control.  I think that your only prayer at this point if you want to continue to taper is to give the pills to someone else.  But in my honest opinion you are better off right now to bite the bullet, and get it done....over....finished!  It will take about 3 or 4 days for the worst, and you won't have to deal with it anymore.  Doesn't that sound good?  You are out of pills, so this is the perfect time.  By the end of the week the worst of the physical stuff will be over.

Think about it!

[curlygirl2]

Good Morning:

Just an opinion, but I really think you should talk to your doctor because the withdrawal could possibly be intense.  Your body will realize that it doesnt have anything that it normally has been receiving.  For the sake of your daughter, either call a close friend you can trust and/or make an appointment to see your family doctor.  
Hang in there, I hope things work out for you.  I know exactly how you feel as one time I forgot my medication at home and I was eight hours up north.  Needless to say, I was terribly sick.  Perhaps you might not be as bad as that but I wish the best for you....
Take care, and talk to someone today.....All the best!