Scared to want it

[Jenny472]

All of you are so amazing. Reading your stories. Day 4, day 10, 3 months. How will I ever be there? It's like I'm on vico lock down.

[ImDONENoMore]

I totally understand what you're talking about. I used to think I needed them to work, get things done, be happy. it didn't seem possible that I could go back to doing/feeling the way I used to be without needing chemical help.  Wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong (I promise you).

[BlondeChick10]

It is just BS as an excuse to use...believe me after I left the fog for the sunshine my world is clearer! I thought I was invincible at work in my facade I never thought I would handle a presentation, meeting or business luncheon with a Vic as I had taken them for sooooo long. But the reality is my life without the altered state of mind is much better.   I mean I did not even go to the grocery store with put  taking a Vic.   But I can assure you that I have been much more focused now that I am free.. I managed my own taper as i did not share this affair with anyone but my husband.. He really had know idea I had a problem when I told him he looked at me like I was crazy!!!  I wouldn't even told him because I knew what his reaction would be but. I np knew that I had to maintain a certain composure and demeanor at work so the evenings and weekend were going to suck for him because I was pretty b!$&@y ... But it gets better every day.

[toothfairie]

well if you have been on them a long time...it's not that you're making it up to use....your body and mind have actually adapted to the feeling you get when you take them....and when you don't have them it triggers your brain to make you want them to function.....brain isn't making the endorphins like it used to before using the pills. So when you stop, it's screaming for a pill.

but just make your mind up to do it..it can and HAS been done by many here and everywhere....you can get thru WDs..let us help you....when you are ready, post and we can give you tips on how to feel better thru it.  Good luck and keep posting for support!  

[Jenny472]

So the feelings of needing it to get work done, or be around people, or just be happy. Is that just crap I make up to use? Obviously years ago I didn't need it to do these things. Thanks all of you for talking to me. I have people in my life. Close people. But finding the right person to help me taper is going to take some thought. I'm not ready to trust anyone in my day to day life.

[Fireby29]

I was very afraid to break my long love affair with the hydro.  It was not easy, and only after relapsing and not truly breaking ties, did I get clean.  The three rules are:

1.  Tell your secret.  You have to have to family or close friends in your corner to support you and protect you.

2.  Cut off ALL sources.  Doctor, dentist, pharmacy, dealers, family, friends, whatever.  You will get weak, and zero access to drugs is crucial.

3.  Get Aftercare.  NA, AA, Church, therapy, the board here, all are useful tools to staying clean.  Some prefer some things to others.  I see a therapist and use the board here.

Keep posting, you can do it.

Bryan

[blotout]

the best way is to taper down, if you were like me i was taking them for recreation so i never could taper, then id run out and feel like crap and say im never doing that again, then someone calls and then i jump right back on the merry go round, if you have someone that will help you taper its best that way, opiate addiction is one of the hardest things to be accomplished, but it can be done, just say no more and stick to it, GOOD LUCK!!

[BlondeChick10]

Jenny
Welcome to the forum!  The worst part for me was the fear of not having Vic everyday to work, socialize , basically function and fear of the unknown . I tapered that worked best for me some people choose to just discontinue..personal choice.  So just committ to a date make a plan and move forward with it.  As far as the physical symptoms;  looking back i over dramatized them, in reality I had flus that were worse.  This forum was very helpful with keeping me occupied and garnering support.  Good luck you cam do it!

[Sweetness91]

You'll get there!! You just have to decide you want a clean and healthy life!! I'm on day 32 off methadone and I knew I would make it, but still can't believe it! You'll have newfound confidence in yourself like never before once you've come clean. And it's really not so bad for some ppl...so don't let all the stories be your example. As I was told "you just have to be ok with NOT being ok for a little while"! So set your goal and follow thru with it...you can do this!!