So much guilt

[Vecci4u]

I know I am suppose to be focusing on my recovery but the guilt is just overwhelming

I don't know if this is because the norco sue pressed any feelings for do long, but everything I messed up is hitting me.

I failed as a dad and left my son he is now 12 almost and have done little in his life but bring him out every summer... How damn selfish of a human being while I shove norco down my throat... I went through my brother murdering two people.... One being a friend when I was a boy... Chatting and going to far with another woman behind my wife's back who caught me although never had sex, but what's the difference... Being cold isolated person... I am just sad

[Vecci4u]

Free,

That was one of the greatest posts I've experienced. I truly thank you for the support you give. I think I am turning corners with physical dt at day 5 but anxiety and emotions Ohhhh ya still strong... Hope day will go smooth as can't be in house today

[Free2agoodhome]

Welcome man

Everyone makes a good point, it's defintley normal. Amends can be done  after you are out of the detox phase. I know it's not popular but 12 step programs (either one) adress that stuff as well.... (just an option)....

If you're emotions are flooding in,,,,sit with them if you can be alone. It happened to me during detox. I let the feelings come.....some may sting....but the more you face them sober the healthier you will become. My wounds like yours are unique, they're golden... It is part of your story....

You did not fail as a father. It was all you were capable of at the time....Accept that stuff and try to let it go.

If we stay rooted in our past it becomes our today...

Re-invent yourself....I suspect superdad is in there somewherel,,,,,



Free~

[atthebeach]

yes your emotions are going to be all over the place. it is ok.
just try not to be to hard on yourself. we cant go back.
we cant have a do over. yesterday is gone. we have today.
forgive yourself. you made mistakes. there is time to make amends.
there is healing, there is restoration.
sending prayers
keep the faith.
there is always hope for tomorrow.
debbie

[Vecci4u]

Guys thanks so much for being there...

I just spent about a hour and broke down in front of my wife.... Everything is just pouring out of me.... I have not felt this in Ohhhh so long.... My mind is just so sad.... It might be the extra push I need ;(

[selfinduced]

These are your emotions going a little haywire. Not to say there aren't real issues you need to address, but now is a bad time to gage that. Once you get clean a good therapist is in order to help you work these things out. As for your boy, it is not to late. 12 is a very impressionable age. How cool will it be to connect with him in a healthy frame of mind. Dark thinking like this can motivate you or trigger you to use. Keep these feeling in check for another week ir 2. Write them down to relieve your brain and get back to them. Go hug your wife ant ell her how amazing she is. One thing at a time my friend.

[mary577]

But being aware of short comings and a desire to make amends is a chance to make up for time lost.   I know you can do this and that makes recovery all the more sweeter.