End of day 4 and need encouragement!

[Lovemomof2]

Here I am again. This time though I have made it the farthest I have ever gone which is the end of day 4. I am somewhat discouraged because I thought I would be feeling better but today has been pretty rough.  Will I feel better tomorrow? I want so badly to make it through this. More than anything. I have 2 little kids who need me. I haven't taken anything since 8am on Friday. I did take 1 suboxone over the last 2 days. That is probably why I am still not feeling better. Any encouragement is so needed right now.

[cleanguy]

you are so close! I know alot of it is what you were on and for how long... but i know that soon after day 5 the light at the end of the tunnel appeared. Just hang in there!  Convince yourself that each day away from the "stuff" is a day that will be better and a little easier. Easy to say looking back on it, but its true!

[Lovemomof2]

I feel like I have so far to go. I just need to feel a little better, so I can get through this.

[cleanguy]

Have you looked into the Thomas recipe? Those amino acids and vitamins do help. They may get you over the hump!

[Lovemomof2]

Thank you. :) Tried some of those things and getting a little better. Still having trouble....it is so difficult. If I can just make it through the night, I am hoping by tomorrow I will feel better.

[conhall]

day 4 is tough I know but it does get better each day that goes by the Physical part gets easier it really does.
Dont sit and dwell on worrying about the night and sleeping the more anxiety you put out there you will feel it. Take a hot bath to relax yourself and sooth your body (Epson Salt) but before that maybe go for a nice walk or do some type of exercise get those endorphins going . It really does help:)
make sure you are drinking lots of fluids like water and Gatoraid  and if you are unable to eat much drink protein drinks like ensure that have Vitamins and minerals they will help your body replenish all you have lost the past few days.
Have you tried melatonin for sleep or herbal teas they can help alot and Hylands restless legs OTC for Restless legs at night.
Try all the things in Thomas recipe you will see they do help they dont take it all away but a lil help is always nice .
Main thing is to just stay positive and keep pushing through and you will see the light at the end of tunnel gets brighter and brighter .
keep posting and Good luck I am pulling for you :))))

[kyle505]

conhall is right on...All I can add is a couple of questions; do you have any pills left? Do you have any refills coming up in the future? Do you have a source - friend, family member, dealer - for meds? If the answer to any of these is yes, then the odds of you being successful are against you. Granted, today was hard, but for most it gets better from this point on. That is, the physical part of detox. As things get better physically, they can get worse mentally. You've been focused on how bad you feel; on getting through this hour by hour. On trying to eat; going to the bathroom, etc.  When all that eases, you'll start thinking - the voice will start big time..."Just one won't hurt; I've been through hell so I deserve a little rest; just one to help me sleep" and so on and so on.
If you have pills, any kind of opioid-based meds, flush them. Any refills, cancel them. If your sources aren't legit/legal, then contact them and make sure they know that you're not interested. Right now, one of the most important things that you can do for yourself is cut all sources. There are a few more things after that that need to be done, but we can talk about those later.
Sorry about babbling on, but you are doing great - you are so close to the end of the physical detox. I want to see you beat this, and then continue on the road to recovery. Hang on; tomorrow will be better. Try to eat; if you can eat then do so, like a pig. Get nourishment in to your body.
You have sooo much to look forward to. Keep posting.

[Lovemomof2]

Thank you both, so much. I really appreciate all that you have said. It is the beginning of day 5....I thought I would be feeling a ton better at this point but I just don't yet. It is really difficult. It takes everything I have just to function like a normal person. I feel like it takes every ounce of energy just to do the simplist thing. On top of that, I am caring for my kids. But, I want my life back. So, I am just going to get through every 10min. Thanks again for all of your words. I am going to do everything in my power to make myself get better.

[neversinkmidnight]

  Hi There, I am right behind you.... this is my 4 th day.. I know your pain.
     Just knowing you are out there has helped me today (or now).
     I hope this gets better soon , pure hell. Keep it up, &
     Good  Luck

[conhall]

you are on day 5 !! :))) Congrats It will get easier Its so hard right now to probably see that But it will Each day that goes by your life does get better.
I like what you said every 10 min thats great! just get through each ten min and before you know it it will move up to an hour a day a week I am proud of you :)
Its hard to detox especially when u are caring for kids but take it as  a positive thing It keeps your mind busy.
keep posting  and keep pushing through You got this!
Make sure you are keeping Hydrated and getting nutrition

[kyle505]

Do you have pills available now or in the future? Important question.
And something that helped me...Some one said "Count the minutes, count the hours - whatever it takes to get you through".  That's exactly what I did. I know this sounds funny now, but you will be surprised at how fast the time passes. You replied one hour ago...That's an hour down. Excellent progress.
Are you eating? That too is very important. Keep your body fueled.

[Lovemomof2]

So happy to hear from you both. It encourages me.I do have 2 pills left and I need to get rid of them. You are right. This is what did me in. Last week, I got to 4 days and took those "back up" pills which did me in. I made myself a smoothie with fruit and spinich in it. It is very difficult to eat and I am so achy. Your right, an hour has passed. Minute by minute....time moves so slow.

[kyle505]

Flush the pills now. The longer you wait, the louder the voice will get, and the more likely you are to relapse. Why keep them if you really want to get clean?
You don't need a back up. You are facing a very dangerous time in the mental struggle to detox. If you keep the pills you will eventually take them.
And you need to cancel any scripts or refills, now.
You have fought hard to get to this point - don't throw it away.

[Lovemomof2]

I know, I need to do it. Honestly, I am afraid to take them and have to go backwards through this. But, regardless, you are right? Why have them? There is not a reason.

[kyle505]

You are fighting the classic mental battle...Something like "what will two pills hurt? I deserve a little relief. I need to sleep or relax so I can keep going, detoxing".
On day two of my detox from hell I called a friend who had pills, someone who I knew would give me a couple (I ended up telling him that I was an addict, so one more source down). Told him I'd "drop by" on the weekend. That would have been day 5 of detox. I planned to get a couple because of all the reasons I listed above. Then, day 3 hit; my worst. It was horrible, but one thing was clear - getting more pills was not going to happen. That's when I told my friend everything, and explained why I wouldn't be visiting.
Flush them; stop playing the game. You take control. Stop listening to your head.

[Lovemomof2]

You are so right! I just got back from a meeting. It helped....a lot. I still am hanging in there. I never thought I could make it this far, but I am still here. I am getting the courage to flush them.

[kyle505]

I'm going to sign off for today. Was hoping that you would have flushed the pills already. I really have my doubts about your desire to get clean.  Please prove me wrong. There is absolutely NO reason in the world for you to keep those pills. It's just plain foolishness. And as long as you have the pills you really haven't made it very far.

[theirmommie72]

i, however, do not have any doubts about you  wanting to be clean.  i was never a flusher either.  i went on a 7 month bender with vics and decided to quit still having about 5 in a bottle in the cabinet.   they stayed there for over a year until i gave them to a friend who needed them.

if you are serious, and i think that you are, your will power will prevail.  maybe on day 6 you can flush them, day 7, whichever.  when you feel really a lot better.  and you have made it far.  look at you.  day 6, right?  and you still haven't taken them?/ that my friend is will power.  keep moving forward.  it does get easier.  

[waterLilly7]

I agree with Kyle. Even though some people can manage to not relapse with pills on them, they are a gross minority. Why take the chance, if you are serious then do it, why take one risk of setting yourself up for disaster?

I hope  you have flushed them, and I hope you are feeling better. Each day gets better. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

hugs,
Lily

[Lovemomof2]

I am still here...and still don't feel right. This is hard to admit, but you were right Kyle and everyone else I did not flush them and ended up taking one on Wednesday and one Thursday morning. Big mistake. I used to take upwards of 16 per day, so I guess its better. However the goal is to STOP. I am so sick of these things, but it has been so difficult for me to get off of them. So today is Friday. It would have been the beginning of day 8, I don't know if I threw it all away. I don't feel as bad as day 1, but this is becoming difficult to hang on. Help!!! I don't want to go backwards.

[waterLilly7]

hey Friend,
ok, so you fell. Get back up and brush yourself off and go on with your plan.
make sure to flush any you have, and continue back on course. DOn't look back, don't give in to guilt, it is nothing but toxic, think as positive as you possibly can and just move forward sweetie. This will all be over soon.
You can do this!

Hugs
Lily

[conhall]

If you get rid of Pill source there is no way to Relapse. Now just pick yourself up and start over but this time you know you cant have ANY pills available because you will cave in. get rid of pill source and keep going to those NA meetings.
You can get threw this, Take it a day at a time and hour at a time .
Stay positive and dont dwell on the pills you took Dont say well I already messed up so i may as well start another day NO! Start Now Flush any pills you have left Reach down deep inside and push through this. The physical wds will be gone in less than a week The hard part anyways then You deal with the mental and NA is a great start!
keep on going You Got this and We are right here to Help you :)))

[Lovemomof2]

Thank you Lily. :) I don't have anymore to fall back on, so that is good. I am just struggling right now. This is so so hard. I don't know how Mich more I can take.

[conhall]

you can do this . Go for a walk try and stay busy i Know the Wds and mind stuff is hard but it will get better I promise you .
I am sending you Positive energy i am pulling for you :)))

[Lovemomof2]

Conhall, thank you for the helpful message. It helps me so much. Do you think I will have another week of withdrawals? I am trying so hard.