Ever just get easy?

[Kelseago]

I was sitting here searching around on the computer to buy adipex.  I'm 4 days off from 60 days and I'm here trying to find a fix.  I catch myself doing and thinking like I use too.  I would have hoped it would've gotten easier by now.  I guess it never gets easy

[atthebeach]

Hey glad you posted. You see how GOD works I was just thinking about and praying for you and jen and jami who all detoxed at the same time a couple of days ago. I am so glad you found a church to attend. I would definitely talk to the pastor. You will not be  judged and believe me you are not the only one there with an addiction background. Remember addiction doesn't discriminate. Rich.poor.black.white.moslem.jewish.christian.male.female.young.old.you fill in the blanks.he is there to counsel.advice.support.encourage and to pray for you. You have come so far. Continue the exercising. Continue the vitamins. Find a new hobby. Continue with the meetings. The devil is a liar.don't believe a word he says. To use again is not an option. Life isn't always easy and sometimes it just isn't fun. You have to choice to be happy .rejoice always and again I say rejoice.  Start to look for things to be happy about.yea I know you have been clean for 56 days. Not that is what I'm talking about. You press on.fight the good fight.keep on trucking. Keep posting and keep praying.have faith.
Blessings to you
Debbie

[ImDONENoMore]

Oops - I said "we" still get it - don't think I can put myself in that wonderful group of long term sobriety yet - but I'm working on it!  :)

[ImDONENoMore]

You know kels, your post got me thinking.  There's a reason why SO many of our members, with a LOT of clean time, come back here and post and/or reply to other's posts.  Because we still GET it ya know?  In so many ways, life doesn't magically become any easier for us after we get clean.  So we HAVE to share with others to keep ourselves going.  And ya know what?  It WORKS.

So keep posting and keep going - and feel VERY proud of yourself for posting here instead of buying some stupid pill.  You're doing it even if it doesn't always feel like that.

[Kelseago]

Thanks gnarly, it makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one at this stage feeling like this.  I don't really have to many people to that I'm able to talk to about this, except for NA.  I haven't really told too many people about my probs beside my husband, mom, dad, girlfriend n bro.   N none of them can really relate.  I don't feel comfortable talking with my pastor yet, I've only been going a month and sm afraid of the judgement.   I'll get there, thanks again

[gnarly_1]

HEY Kels good to see you post .....im sorry to here your going threw a ruff patch but if it means anny thing to you I was ready to give up at 60 days to.....I clearly remember going into my consolor and bit ching ....'''I should be a lot farther along then I am''....his answer was you do feel better then you did the first week right??.....recovery takes time and you go threw stages where it seams like your not getting anywhere.....trust me your making progress
this is never ez although some seam to get off with a lot less grief then others for me it was going to be a long drown out grind but today I look back at it and know I earned my recovery
a day at a time and still do.....it gets ezer as time goes by but even with time you still go threw stuff.....I just had to give up a good job because the stress levels where more then I could handle clean and sober.....it was the job or my sobriety in these economic times every ounce of my body said stick it out....but outside those that new me seen me coming apart and seen me struggling ....I went to a trusted friend in my church taking my wifes advise....he is also a recovering addict....I dont quit remember the scripture but it said to flee in it......so I went out on faith that God will provide me with a new job and handed in my resignation it was like a ton of bricks came off my chest....now I will wait on God
this deisise will cost us things from time to time even living in recovery.....the ability to know when to much is to much......I really feel for you Kels I know this has been tuff fro you but in the end it is so so worth it....I might be unemployed right now but I got my sobriety and without that I got nothing..............Gnarly      

[Kelseago]

Thanks guys.  I went to my meeting last night n I just didn't speak up. I should have just gotten everything out.  I had been doing better but it's been a tough few weeks mentally.  I've locked myself in the bathroom at church n just cried.  I feel overwhelmed and tired.  I workout every morning at 4 but the energy fades away Galway through the day.   I just feel so tired of it

[Ilovebrymer]

    Hey you!!!!!! Yeah you. Your doing awesome. You just need some words of encouragement. Dont do anything you are going to regret. Remember as soon as you take that stupid little pill you are going to so regret it. And you know it!!!!!!!! I keep hearing that if you get a supplement with calcium/magnesium/zinc in it that this will cut a huge amount of withdrawals out. 4 in the morning and 4 at night. Try it and stay strong!!!!

[vicki595]

Kels---It's as hard as we make it!!  You're the one in control here and you need to change your thinking.  Stop looking for pills and go talk with someone. You need help as we all do.

I'm glad you posted here instead of buying!  So,it's 56 days???  That's great!!

[Kelseago]

I just want to give up.  It's so much easier living my old life.....but I guess life 's not suppose to be easy