Aa
My strength comes from within....
We all know the right thing to do but sometimes it is so difficult to actually do it. We want it so bad, we need it so bad but our body and mind doesn't always cooperate. That's the punishment we have to endure in times like this. That's the addiction still trying to maintain the grasp, the hold on our lives. Even when we stop using , especially when we stop using, the emotions , the mental and physical struggles , they treat us so bad at times. We know of we just take one more then we won't feel so bad anymore. At least thats why we think. For me, I constantly soul search... I know the difference betweb right and wrong. I know how destructive these narcotics are and can be to me my everyday life and people around me.... So I dig deep within myself to come to terms with all this. My Lord watches over me, whether I am using or not! If I don't show a willingness to endure and understand then I can't expect that HE will miraculously cure me: I have a problem that started before I ever used an if I want to overcome this problem I need to reach down to the very depths of my being and bring up all the strength I can possibly latch onto in order to overcome. Every single one of us can do this. It's said on here very often that you must want to do it. In fact , we all want this madness to end but the struggle within puts obstacles in our path. I say to u all, because it breaks my heart everytime I read someone relapsed again, but nevertheless push forward if it's your first second third or hundreth time ....push... The short term pains are nothing compared to the long term gains! One day shy of 30 days clean and for me there is no looking back. Failure is never an option...failure is an opiate! God Bless you all and RIP Whitney Houston...you struggled with your addiction so very long....
hellc....(2 posts up) ... it took a hot minute but....4 days later I get what you mean! ;) I think ... Lol
I dont know about anthropomorphising the Heroinn, but i do know that most addicts find myriad ways to justify their use. A lot of addicts would make very good actors, in my opinion anyway. A lot of people, not just addicts, find it very hard to own their behaviour.
Too often "recovering addicts" will anthropomorphise their addiction and endow "IT" with the nefarious attributes which fed our gluttonous habits as though "IT" were an entirely seperate and autonomous entity. The problem with this philosophy is that it surreptitiously lays the blame for our addictions on an inanimate and intangible being and excuses us from accepting personal responsibility whenever we falter.
The whole disease model exacerbates this issue by allowing us to further remove ourselves from the responsibility of our actions in active addiction. Afterall,we're supposedly helpless against the all powerful, cunning, baffling addiction monster in our heads. .Tragically, it can also become a fait accompli for many desperate addicts once they become familiarised with the powerlessness doctrine.
For me, this is unhealthy and allows an addict to deflect the blame for their drug abuse on an imaginary entity and provides them with a convenient scapegoat for their inevitable relapse. Its easy to be the victim of addiction when a cunning, powerful and baffling entity is constantly trying to divert your attention away from the virtues of sobriety. When we acknowledge that those inanimate gremlins are merely descriptions of ourselves/character traits, we can become empowered and take charge of this pretend monster in our head.
What works best for me is to OWN my role in my adiction. No anthropomorphised addiction monster usurped my brain and compelled me to do anything I didnt want to do. I AM the cunning baffling powerful addiction monster, therefore I AM sufficienly equipped to outwit, outsmart and out muscle the self destructive cravings which may arise on occasion.
In the end, we are all the masters of our own destinies and perfectly capable of achieving the self discipline required to eschew narcotics indefinitely.
The whole disease model exacerbates this issue by allowing us to further remove ourselves from the responsibility of our actions in active addiction. Afterall,we're supposedly helpless against the all powerful, cunning, baffling addiction monster in our heads. .Tragically, it can also become a fait accompli for many desperate addicts once they become familiarised with the powerlessness doctrine.
For me, this is unhealthy and allows an addict to deflect the blame for their drug abuse on an imaginary entity and provides them with a convenient scapegoat for their inevitable relapse. Its easy to be the victim of addiction when a cunning, powerful and baffling entity is constantly trying to divert your attention away from the virtues of sobriety. When we acknowledge that those inanimate gremlins are merely descriptions of ourselves/character traits, we can become empowered and take charge of this pretend monster in our head.
What works best for me is to OWN my role in my adiction. No anthropomorphised addiction monster usurped my brain and compelled me to do anything I didnt want to do. I AM the cunning baffling powerful addiction monster, therefore I AM sufficienly equipped to outwit, outsmart and out muscle the self destructive cravings which may arise on occasion.
In the end, we are all the masters of our own destinies and perfectly capable of achieving the self discipline required to eschew narcotics indefinitely.
Very true. I never saw it that way. Something with no eyes. Brain. Feelings. To allow to control us.
U r so right. It won't control me. I love the way u put it. X
U r so right. It won't control me. I love the way u put it. X
Hello mike, you are right that it doesn't matter whether its your first go at recovery or your hundreth. Whats important is, its your last. I have lost count of the amount of times i have withdrew from drugs. With and without help! Whether you lapse or relapse, seeking support can only help. My latest detox has been off Subutex, i am clean now. I only stumbled onto this site by accident, i think it is amazing. The amount of positive people on this site has been a revelation to me. The support offered to me has been fantastic. I have been reading some of your posts and i am impressed with a lot of the things you have said. Stay focused my friend.
Amen Mike! i'm a control freak as is, how the heck did I let something with no life take control..... not anymore, i'm back baby!
However we handle ithis ....as an adventure, a battle, a struggle or all of the above....most important is to Handle it the right way! I refuse to allow something with no brain , no eyes , no feelings , no nothing .... to take control over me!
it aint having me zoea no way.got my gun anyways!!we should make an island in the middle of atlantic ocean for people in us and uk.and when they have week moments theres no where to go.
i buzz of people on this site(naturally of course!lol!) had a little moment this morning after an arguement with my girlfriend.my brain was going"get some weed and beer go on you will feel better".Till i shot that little bast£$d right in the head!! I sat and listened to some music and calmed down.You are both VERY RIGHT we will RULE THE WORLD!!!!!
When Im clean. My mind starts playing funny tricks.
One little bit won't hurt. But it does hurt. It hurts me.
In the whole six months of use my feelings thoughts were blocked.
For me i remember the day after quiting. What an empty feeling.
I am enjoying my girls. I laughed so much my jaw ached yesterday.
Im a bit more patient.
But starving lol.
We have all really helped each.
Thank u all x
Zoe
One little bit won't hurt. But it does hurt. It hurts me.
In the whole six months of use my feelings thoughts were blocked.
For me i remember the day after quiting. What an empty feeling.
I am enjoying my girls. I laughed so much my jaw ached yesterday.
Im a bit more patient.
But starving lol.
We have all really helped each.
Thank u all x
Zoe
Lol .... Attitude is everything....motivation , positive reinforcers , we can set ourselves up to fail or succeed.... it's how we handle it. Noone knows us better than we know ourselves...and with that said...we can't even imagine what we are capable of accomplishing when determined and focussed.
yeh its really possible i have been clean 2 years from heroin,using subutex im now on 0.8mg daily,and 8days off weed and alcohol which ive always struggled with because i would just change addictions.now im goin NA meetings and moving forward with my sniper riffle killing any fool that steps to me.
And just to add one more point rather than starting a new thread ...... Getting off of your DOC and staying clean is very possible, never impossible, and likely only when you yourself commit to it and commit to it with just half the energy you committed to saying high and you'll be so surprised at what you can accomplish. I have so much extra time on my hands these days Amd it shows me how much time I was wasting feeding my addiction. people psyche themselves out so much when preparing to stop using. Planning it for days in advance and terrifying themselves of whats to come. That , to me , can't be a healthy way to go in this. Change your attitude and the change from within will be exposed!
Yeah Riz....no choice but to fight on and if you seriously seriously seriously look at it like that then it becomes an obsession....almost an addiction to staying clean! I'll trade one addiction for another in that case....as I have done. Using again = death to me and I really do look at it like that. I don't wanna die!
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