I made my bed & now I gotta lie in it

[troubleinohio]

i dont feel right about posting this since Ive put myself in this situation and deserve whatever i get but if i dont vent a little bit i may go "crazy" again & i dont need anymroe broken bones than i got right now so here goes.
i should not have come back home. it was a mistake and i did it 4 all the wrong reasons. Im still not happy, things R bad & i feel like my soul has been sucked dry by him. i cringe when i hear him coming down the stairs every morning, knowing the day is gonna get worse from here on out. he still wont work, still mopes around here and makes everyone miserable. I wish i could find a damn job so i could get out of here
i gotta go he's coming in the room  

[bandnmom]

Sounds like u need a break. I'm in Illinois....come visit!

[NautyOne]

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  God Bless You And Your Children. I am so happy for you.

You see Ohio........It can be done. Just like we talk about here about the drugs.  It too is a process and a life changing one.  Every time I read your post's .......I want to come there and snatch you out of there, and that's so funny because I am now in the position that all of my friends and family were in when they tried to help me.  God Bless them all.  but like anything else.....as much as we would like to drag you outta there.......we can't.  Only you can do it for yourself and your children.  I know Robin understands what I am saying completely.  I lost many friends and family to the point of just not caring anymore........As long as you come here and post.  I will never give up as much as I have to repeat myself over, and over, again.  The worst feeling in the world for me was when the people around me started jumping ship.  I was furious, but I now understand.  I guess you can compare it to watching someone destroy their lives with drugs........it's helpless and heart wrenching.......huuu.  anyway, I am always here for you .......I think you know that.......I hope you know that.

God Bless,
Nauty..............

[Robin6298]

Nauty is right...period.  It is a tough decision & very hard to do, I know.  It's comparable the to many of us here deciding/trying to get clean, I think.  Just to hopefully give you a little encouragement, I've left two abusive marriages.  Without going into the horrid details too much,  I left with my children, our important documents, a few precious keepsakes, and the clothes on our backs.  We started all over....twice.  No, it sure wasn't easy. There was a lot of tears and sacrifice, but we are alive.  Looking back now, I know it was the best choice(s) I ever made.  Now, I own my house, and the kids will always have a place to call home.  We are safe and happy.  It's so worth it and just think the sense of comfort that you will gain when you and your kids are out & safe.  

[avisg]

as hard as nauty post might be to hear it is the truth ,you need to get out of there ,give you and your children he life you  deserve. Sooner or later he is going to hurt you or the kids if he has not already .....

[GoingToMakeIt]

Naughty, that was a very nice post.

Trouble, my heart and prayers go out to you. We are here for you.

[NautyOne]

Ohio,

With the resources I have posted for you.  There are places you can go with your children.  It's called transitional Living.  Your kids will be cared for, you will receive the counseling you need.  They provide job training and will re-locate you into a home or apt.  but, you can't have your cake and eat it too.  You must file for divorce, and your husband can never know where you are.  EVER!  The kids can see their Father, but can never come to the home they provide.  You can meet at a public place for visitation.  I really think I know what's going on with you and I totally understand.  You are in a tough position, there are some places that will deal with substance abuse, and give you the rehab.  if needed.  If you don't make the call----you will never know, how much happier life can be.....and it can be without him as hard as it seems.  If you lose it again......what will you do next?  You can end up in jail.....explain that to your kids, and your husband would probably get off on it, because it make you look like a bad mother.....No children should ever have to witness Violence between Mom & Dad.  That's child abuse.  Did you ever think about that?  Who is this about.......You? Him? or the children.  that has to be your decision, because he doesn't give a damn and every time you leave and come back just reinforces  in his mind that you are weak and will never leave.  I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.

Nauty..................

[allaboutmary]

Leaving a long term marriage is not easy. I think it is pretty common to go back and forth for a while.  Then it seems you just wake up one day and say I can't do this anymore. Sounds like your there. At least you went back and tried to work it out. Now you just have to figure out where to go from here.  This is such a difficult thing especially when children are involved. Stay safe.  Hugs   Mary

[cathy5841]

no matter what we care about you.  i for one think you are awesome...and to not use through out all of this says you aqre a strong person.  i am so sorry things are bad for you.  only you can change it.  but in the meantime we are here..keep venting.
love prayers and hugs to you
cathy

[feohmoon]

That is so sad...I am saying a prayer for you because I hope you can leave soon too.  You are too strong and too wonderful to live like you are...
Peace be with you - Please post soon so we can know things are ok...You help so many people here, I wish we could help you.