Feeling alone.

[Catt_N]

Has anyone been on methadone for over a decade? I've been on this for 12 years and my father asked me,are you going to live like this forever? It hit me so hard cuz I never thought about it.
During those 11 years I went up and down a lot,(highest dose was 80mgs) but managed to get myself down to 13 mgs by new years eve 2011. Then started a silly rapid detox and decreased 13 mgs down to 11mgs for one week. Then 11mgs down to 8.5mgs the next. I got so sick. Felt like my heart almost gave up on me giving me random chest pains. So I had to slow down. I went only 1mg each week til I got to 5.5mgs, & stayed on that for 10 days as I felt the rapid detox was catching up to me. Today is only day one and I'm sending myself into a panic attack! I do have clonidine and Diazapam and some lopermide just in case. Has any body out there been on methadone for over a decade and made it? Are the withdrawals longer than others who has been on it like 3 or 4 years? Will it be harder on people who've been on it too long? Is it too late?

[Catt_N]

Mine was also day 4 the worse. And kept getting worse til today... I'm able to eat but need help with sleep so I take 10mgs of Diazepam otherwise I'm up all night. I don't want to be a pain or gross anyone out but, after taking in all the protein shakes and the vitamins, and because of the terrible diarrhea... I don't know what to do cos I know I need to flush out all the methadone poison out of my system, but at the same time, am i also flushing out all that protein and the vitamins that could be why I get restless legs when that happens? I have I imodium handy but I want toxins out. But I don't want to flush out all good stuff I've been forcing myself to drink also.
Should I just keep taking the proteins and vitamins and just let it run until day 10 maybe? And then start taking the imodium? I don't know how many days does methadone leaves the body completely. Some says 6 full days, some says 10.
Could u guys help me out here?
I'm drinking heaps of Gatorade but it's really exhausting and really hurts from the cramps.
Please help!
Ps. On a good note, Looking forward to tomorrow! Day 8 guys!
Love u guys for staying with me since day 1. *group hug*

[Dozeman]

Day 4 was when mine let up was still kind of crappy till about day 7 then I was up and doing stuff but about a month was when I think it really began to let go of me and things leveled out

[Catt_N]

Hi guys.
Today is day 7! Who would've thought.... me....after 12 years! I woke up like a normal person for the first time in 12 years. Besides the chills but it's cold here and no sensitive goose pimple skin, which I still had yesterday. Back pain gone, had a headache and that's pretty much it this fine morning. I went outside to soak up some sun. I remember what u said gnarly. they come in waves, and just in case the withdrawals does comes back with a vengeance,  I'm going to enjoy this sunrise! Thank you dozeman for lifting me up with your words of encouragement. I'm a long way from 49 days but I can feel it will get better from here, compared to the last 4 and 5 days. I can't thank you guys enough for being here. *hugs
Cat

[Dozeman]

You will feel so much better I cant even begin to tell you just hang in there things will get much better its hard but can be done and is worth it in the end I am on day 49 and doing awesome and feel so different in a good way other than this da gone cold weather and snow

[Catt_N]

Guys, Heather,  that's what I'm doing right now holding on to every word and love and support from people I've never met. It's overwhelmingly hard to describe that wonderful warm feeling that penetrates straight into my heart.
I can't thank you guys enough for preparing me for each day. If you're more prepared, I guess you're less scared. And the easier it could get. When it gets tuff, I would read these posts over and over and it helps me so much.
Love you guys. * big hugs *
Catt.

[Heather8448]

I got on methadone when i was 21 or 22 and got off at 29...i held onto the people on this site. Some stayed up with me. Late into the night. I started focusing on today as best as I could. If i could change one thing i would have gotten into aftercare while detoxing...i stayed busy moving working and laying on the beach...you can do this!!!