Fioracet W/ codiene/ fioranal w/o coediene & darvocet

[mommyshouldntbehere]

Okay. here goes.  new here! hi-ya. nobody knows of any of this, and I feel so all alone. I'm your typical at-home mom who loves my husband and children more than anything on earth. I love God eternally, but I also have a deep solo-secret...

I don't have a lot of time, but I'm going to dish quick, so I can get an answer by the time I return home.
I started darvocet while pregnant, because I get mirgraines so severly and couldn't take imitrex while preggo. that was 5 years ago. On and off, I've had that refilled, since it does help, and doesn't have the nasty imitrex side effects that I get.  I then got pregnant soon after (our kids are 22 mo. apart) - on the same thing...

Once children and breast-feeding were done, I went back on Imitrex, treximet, maxalt, relpax, etc, all of wich my body chem. has taken to worse now to them, than before, giving me such bad side effects I'd rather suffer with the headaches... at any rate - I was prescribed the fioracet. both with and w/o coediene, with asprin at times, sometimes not. I come up with stories to switch, I have been doctor hopping (some docs are becomming aware of this, now)  I am an "on and off addict", I believe. right now, my finances and marriage is rather in shambles, my kids and my pills are really the only thing making me happy. I feel I neeeeeed them both.  I know I need my kids, but I know I DO NOT need these pills. I'm taking (at the moment) about 6-8 (every four hrs) pills a day the fioracet w/codiene. I don't know how to get off, and I AM RUNNING OUT AND MY INS. WON'T REFILL YET - TOO SOON....(I've been upping from my usual 4-6 to 6-8 to get through some rough days OR to really get rid of the headache, OR to prevent... however, my concern is...
I don't want to withdrawl.... I know it can be dangerous and my brothers best friend died from drug issues... at any rate.. I have both fioranal (without) codiend, with ASPRIN, not tylenol... as well as Darvocet in my "care" right now... can I keep taking them as a substitute right now?  I want off, but I don't know how to correctly "wean"  My next script will be my last, as it's my last refill, for 40 pills (of the fioracet w/codiene) - as soon as I can get it... but it's the last doc that doesn't "know" and there's no way around being DONE at this point.  
How can I quit?  Advice?
I canNOT tell my husband at this point, since our marriage is already rocky...really rocky.
I can't lean on my friends for fear of judgement and my parents, they have had to already deal with two extreme drug addictions with my brothers - I can't break their hearts too. What do I do? Help!!!!  
I should also mention that I have anxiety and ocd (fear of dying, mostly, fearing me to do many things and fear of cancer) - so I am supossed to be taking Prozac, 40 mg. daily, but I'm too afraid to mix it with anything else I take (pain-med-wise) that I haven't taken them much.... Husband is noticing my mood changes (probably from the pain meds)  -- I also have kolonapin (can I take that as a detox method?)  I need help and nowhere to go!

I stay at home, like I said and I'm very lonely, and don't have many friends. I'm a really hands-on mom who loves to be with and do things with my kids. we really do bake and do art, daily... but these pills have taken over, I need to watch the clock for my 4-hr mark, and I hate it!!!

Oops- this wasn't sort after all... thank you in advance,
Mom who should have never gotten to this point...
:( :( :( I'm really disapointed in myself. What started off as an "innocent" pill to help my horrid headaches (that I've had since I was 11) -- turned into a physical addiction and emotional crutch. :(

[cathy5841]

hi mommy, glad to see you are making progress with your plan..i know you dont want to tell your parents about your addiction, but when w/ds do get here maybe you can say you have the flu and get some babysitting help...you have gotten great advice from viki and the others..armed with the advice and the taper plans you will succeed...keep us posted.

[vicki595]

I'm not sure how to answer your question.  Are you using both plain and with codeine?

Tell me exactly what you have of each one and what the pharmacist told you. For me,
I would taper with the Fw/C and then switch over to the plain F and continue tapering.

I think you're probably dependant on both codeine and butalbital.

V.  xo

[mommyshouldntbehere]

I feel horribly guilty at this point, I've taken 8 w/codiene today. ugh. my highest ever. spaced apart, of course. here I am, trying hard to get off this sh*t, and rock bottom for my marriage issues today. I know, it shouldn't affect me like this, but that combined with my kids biting one another, fighting and this and that, I'm just overwhelmed. I haven't gotten away for time for myself since last July. (time meaning, more than an hour here or there, and not doing something that's an "errand", you know?) It's really hard right now. :(  Anyways,
Vicki- I have 48 of the but w/codiene
and 11 of the asprin/but/caffiene
I'll leave the darvon out - I don't prefer that... unless I'm desperate to "get out of my head" if you know what I mean.  (yet, I still dont' know how I got to this point)

the pharmacist said that I should taper down a few at a time, judging by my refills and how many i've been taking per day (I was honest with him) - that it shouldn't take more than a week or two, if I drop one/two a day.  I started with asprin/caff/butalbital, then went to codiene (for the past three/four-ish scripts), and I've went through those pretty quickly... so I've not been "on" solidly, for a long time... If I remember correctly, Jan. was when I went "on" - and did the asprin one w/o codiene for a month, then switched to the tylenol WITH codiene, then went back to w/o.  Then went good and clean for a month or two, and in May, I hit up the docs, and have been "on" pretty much since then.... mostly w/o codiene, but for the past 3/4 scripts, have been with codiene... and it hasn't been a "long" period of time... 30-40 pills/script then taking 6-7/day.  
I know you can't give a "plan" but any advice?

[mommyshouldntbehere]

also - should I be taking my prozac or no?
I kinda skip b/c I'm afraid of putting too much garbage to my liver. :(
(my ocd)

[my_mayberry]

your pharmacist isn't qualified to give you a taper plan.

you're worried about image. vanity. you can call it what you will but it's putting your health at risk and it's very frustrating.

i'm telling you, as a person who works in a pharmacy, a pharmacist is HIGHLY educated but NOT qualified to give you taper advice. you simply will not listen.

you care too much about what people think. in the field of medicine addiction happens ALL THE TIME. it's nothing new to anyone.

[vicki595]

Okay...yes...I'd still take the Prozac.

Don't be sad,this is totally doable. The pharmacist gave you good advice. You'll do fine if you just do it,you know?  You already took 8 today. That's it,no more;that's your limit okay??    Part of this process is developing good coping skills.  I know exacly how you feel: kids acting up,laundry piling up,dust,dirt,heat,crabby husband,no time alone,not having read a book in 5 years,need a haircut,need a manicure,need money and on and on...  This is life and I know you know that.  You're a smart girl and a caring Mom. You can do this...

When you feel the urge to take another pill today drink a cold glass of water and take a vitamin or a Motrin. Tomorrow drop down to 7 pills for the day.  Put those aside and put the bottle away. Wait a few days and drop another one as the pharmacist told you.

You can totally do this!!  It's a mindset.  It helps a lot to have support.  I know you can't share this right now with the family but you might try an NA meeting in your area. They are free and you only need to sit and listen.  I really hate that you're so alone with this.
It doesn't help you!!
Feel free to post as much as you want~Always happy to help

V. xo