Good morning friends Day 4!

[nessyness]

Well let me say waking up and reading All of your posts from the night before had me smiling. God I love you guys! I never knew you could bond with people through a website....boy was i wrong! I feel ok right now im gonna try some lytrosine for energy and walk my neice up to the park to get me going for the day. I slept good last night the rls yeaterday kicked my arse so once i took the melatonin i was out like a light. I swear that stuff is a miracle. Im gonna try sleep without it tonight though. I go back to work tommorow im a little nervous, but one step at a time. I hear you matt on the whole relationship thing. I want to be in a more healthy place before i try and find my Knight in shining armour:) I wanna learn to love me first its been a long time since i have. well im gonna go try a small breakfast and get out for a bit. If you guys are still not sleeping go out and get the hylands and melatonin it helped me so much...........xoxoxox Nessa

[nessyness]

This is gonna sound Dumb but how do i make correct paragraphs on this thing lol!

[TakingAction]

Thanks.  I never considered him a friend until today.  Strange how that worked out, huh?

I know what you are saying about the relapse possibility.  I may be giving off a false sense of confidense sometimes, but I am fully aware of the vunlerability just under the surface.  Yesterday was the worst day of cravings I ever had.  I would have used had I not kept my butt in the chair and stayed on this forum.  I can only take it as it comes and hope that it sticks.  You all have been so important in keeping me straight.

Enjoy this day!
<matt

[nessyness]

What you did is great. For many of us this addiction is so self absorbing, that reaching out to others is key to our sobriety. Im gonna call Belle today to see if there is something i can do for her.                                                                                          So i did have a scare this morning i took my neice to the park and beforhand had took the lytyrosine.......well halh hour later my chest felt like it was caving in my arms were prickling and i broke out into a sweat i thoght i was having heartatack all alone with my neice at the park she is only 2.....I called my mom right away she rushed up there thank god it was only 2 blocks away. It started subsiding my mom said it was my capilaries opening up. Holy **** that was scary anybody else ever experience this?                       IbeKleen im have a reffferal from my dr to talk to someone and a friend who goes to AA wich i will inqire about this week.                                                                                Well it is beautiful out here today to and im gonna try and enjoy it........Sending love to you all..........Nessa

[salsinator]

Morning Action - You are truely a strong person and a good friend to have done what you did for your dealer today.  That really took some conviction to say NO, but it also probably helped you to know that you are helping and supporting you friend.  Suboxone saved my life, but I am happy to be free of the bonds that it held on me for years.  Just be careful, relapse is very easy at this stage - for both of us.  

It is beautiful here today too - I live in Central VA - not far from you.  Enjoy your day.

[TakingAction]

Morning all.  There is not a cloud in the sky here.  So nice out today.
I am continuing to feel better each day.  I do have some minor cravings and feel a bit sluggish.  All in all, not so bad.

Ok ness, you sound good.  Better than I was at your stage.  Keep pusing forward, love!  Let me know if ya need anything today.
*************************************************
Funny thing happened.  My phone rang and woke me up this morning.  It was the guy who supplied my pills after my doctor cut me off.  My dealer, in short.  I had told him that I am finished with them a few days ago.  He respected that decision and confided in me that he is on the subroxone (sp?)  program to battle his own addiction.  He needed a ride to the clinic and thought that I might understand and do that favor for him.  You would think I would want nothing to do with him, but I understood his struggle and obliged.  We had a nice conversation about sobriety and how we are both managing.  He has been clean for six months, though unfortunately is still slinging the stuff that almost killed him.  I can't really wrap my head around that choice, but know that he is living in poverty and lost part of his arm in a car accident a few years ago.

I could not find fault with him, or rather did not even care to.  I just saw a fellow addict in need of a favor to keep him clean.  It realized that I had nobody to blame for my addiction but myself, not even the dealer.

After these last two weeks, I thought this was a fitting thing to do; extend a hand without judgement to a man who shares my story.  I feel good about it and just wanted to share.

Good luck to everyone today.  You are in my thoughts.

[salsinator]

Morning Ness - glad to see you back this morning and that you slept well last night.  One more day under your belt.  I am proud of you.  Have a great day today - enjoy life.  It's beautiful here today, I am going to enjoy some of the nice weather.